Three Way Split

“Why can’t you just leave him?” he asked quickly getting dressed, falling over as he tried to pull his shoes on and his jacket at the same time. “You said he doesn’t care. He’s away a lot of the time with work and leaves you on your own. And in your words ‘the spark is well and truly gone’.

She lay back down on the bed and said “I know, and it is”.

She lay back on the bed, smoke swirling into the air and blew smoke rings, round and perfect.

“I just can’t, not yet anyway. When Jessie leaves school and starts Uni. She’ll be old enough to understand and it will be easier. It’s not that long to wait, a few months and that will go quickly” she said to the man she loved and wanted to be with.

“Oh it just seems so far away” he said to her, walking towards the bed to give her a goodbye kiss, “and you’re always telling me how boring he and your life with him is”.

“Yes I know” she said hugging him, “but it’s a bit more complicated when there are children involved. You don’t have that complication so you’re ok”.

She stayed on the bed, relaxing and thinking about the future, drifting off into a mellow state of happiness…. Suddenly she remembered she was supposed to be picking Jessie up early to take her to the dentist straight from school.

“Hell” she called out, “I’m going to be late again” and jumped up, quickly getting dressed and rushing out of the door.

On her way to school she combed her hair, put fresh lipstick on and a chewy into her mouth, then looked into the mirror and was satisfied that she looked ‘normal’ except for the flush in her cheeks!

Margaret began to think about what she was doing and how it would affect her daughter if she knew.  ‘That’s why I can’t tell her until she has finished this year at school. I feel so guilty all the time - but the affect it would have on her would be devastating. She would never get the grades she needs for medicine. I’m going to have to keep it under wraps for a while longer’. Margaret took a deep breath as she saw the school entrance up ahead.

“Oh she’s late again. She’s so annoying, my mum” Jessie thought as the small blue car of her mother’s screeched into the parking space, the carpark almost empty because of the time.

“Mum you’re late again. Why? You’re not working at the moment so surely you can get here on time – it’s five minutes from home!” Jessie said with her voice slightly raised.

“Yes I know and I’m sorry love. You probably won’t believe me but I couldn’t find the car keys anywhere. I searched high and low. I tipped out my handbag in the end, and do you know where I found them?” she asked her daughter

Jessie didn’t answer –in fact she continued to stare out of the window with an air of indifference.

“Well I’ll tell you” Margaret continued, trying to sound as if she didn’t have a care in the world…”I found them outside on the bench. I must have taken them out there just before I left home. I remembered that I hadn’t fed Lulu and I’d gone out the back to do that and must have put them down. Anyway at least I found them in the end” Margaret lied and she turned to look at her daughter for confirmation that all was ok, but Jessie was looking at her quizzically.

“What were you doing at home before you left?” she asked

“Oh just the usual stuff, and I actually wrote out a couple of job applications and sent them off. Why?”

“Oh it’s just that your blouse is inside out and I wondered if you had rushed in from somewhere and got changed, no other reason”.

They drove in silence. Both with their own thoughts swirling around inside their heads and both were wondering what the other was thinking.

‘Something is going on with Mum’ Jessie thought as they drove through the town. ‘She has been acting so odd for a while now. She’s been late a few times for various pickups and sometimes looks dishevelled. When she picked me up from school a couple of weeks ago she had one earring on and her hair looked like she’s been through a wind tunnel. And then when I asked her if she had been to bed, thinking she could be sick, she looked as if I’d just told her I was expelled from school that day! I wonder if Dad knows what’s wrong. I hope she isn’t really sick and hasn’t told anyone.  Mind you those two don’t seem to have much to say to each other these days. Maybe that’s what happens when you’ve been married a while – who knows?’

“Here we are love. Off you go. We’re only ten minutes late. I’ll just wait in the car – you shouldn’t be too long”.

“Why don’t you have a twenty minute cat nap Mum?” Jessie said as she shut the car door.

‘Has she ever known me to have a ‘cat nap’ in the car? Margaret asked herself, bemused.

When they got home after the dentist Margaret put the kettle on and Jessie went straight to her room to do some homework. The house was very quiet except for the loud purring of Lulu who was lying on the sofa. She woke up and stretched out to her full length - the fur on her tummy snow white. Margaret walked over to stroke her, fingers deep in the soft fluff and thought what her life would be like if she had to leave the beautiful cat – it was her husband Brian’s cat as she had bought her for his birthday about five years ago. The purring and the warmth of the cat’s belly were relaxing her and she put her head back against the sofa. She didn’t hear the key being turned in the front door or hear her husband walk into the room.

“Hello I’m home!” he called out and woke her from the relaxed state she had been in.

“Oh Hi” she said without enthusiasm. “I thought you were home tomorrow?”

“They put an extra flight on so I made sure I was on it” he told her, knowing it wouldn’t be good news for his wife.

“Oh I haven’t made dinner. Jessie and I were just going to have toasties tonight – sorry”.

“That’s ok. How about we all go out to the Italian in town for dinner? But before he got an answer he added “I’ll go say Hi to Jess and tell her”.

Brian knocked on her door and walked in after hearing the “Yes I’m studying” coming crossly from the other side.

 “Oh it’s you. Hi Dad. I’ve missed you! Mum said you were coming home tomorrow. How are yer?” she asked him, springing up to hug him.

“Oh I’m just grand” he answered sitting down on her multi coloured bed cover. “Thought we might all go to the Italian for dinner tonight – alright with you love?”

“Oh sure but can we go early?”

Town was only about twenty minutes away and it was agreed that they would have an early dinner. Being a Tuesday night it was easy to get a table and get served relatively quickly.

Brian began to talk about how his fortnight at work had been. Jessie was on her phone, and Linda was bored by the same stories that she heard every time he got back. She half listened, hearing the same words that usually came out of his mouth after a ‘hitch’ of twenty days, in sentences she usually couldn’t understand, ‘high pressure fluids, frac job, geronimo, the moon pool, the mouse hole and the mud’….. She nodded now and then or uttered the word “really” but actually couldn’t have cared less.

Sensing the disinterest in what he was talking about, he stopped mid-sentence and asked Linda “So what have you been up to while I’ve been away? He knew he wouldn’t be told the truth but whatever she said he would pretend to believe it. He really didn’t need to ask – he knew what she was up to – he just didn’t know who with, and that didn’t have too much bearing on the situation. He’d actually known for a few months now and it didn’t surprise him. He started becoming suspicious when her phone calls became secretive. One night when her phone rang and he picked it up to pass it to her, she yelled at him, “I will pick up my own phone thank you Brian” to which he replied innocently “Oh sorry Linda but what does it matter?” and got a terse “It matters to me”. There were other signs that she was seeing someone else too – the time she had been out with her friend Dawn, coming home late, when unbeknown to Linda, Brian had bumped into Dawn that afternoon and she had just stopped at the bank to get money out on the way to the airport. She and John were going on a mystery flight – somewhere for the weekend.

He hadn’t said anything to Linda – he knew it was over and that she was just waiting for the right time to tell him. As sad as it made him feel, the only thing that he looked forward to when coming home was Jessie. She was almost an adult now which would make the situation a lot easier when it all came to a head.

Brian didn’t think they were that suited from the beginning really, he was quite a few years older than her, but as Linda was pregnant with Jessie he thought it a good idea if they got married. ‘She should have just said ‘no’ he thought after one argument they had - she had shouted that he was just a boring old man  and that they should never have married‘. Linda was much more sociable than he was and had lots of friends whereas he didn’t care much about a social life. I would have always been there for Jessie so that was what really mattered. We did have a good marriage in some ways, although I think it has helped that I’ve always worked away a lot – breathing space for Linda’.

“Brian, are you listening? You asked me what I’ve been up to and then you don’t pay attention to a word I’m saying!”

Jessie looked from her Mum to her Dad. ‘Poor Dad’ she thought. ‘He comes home and Mum doesn’t seem to care if he’s here or not. They don’t seem happy at all, although I think it’s mainly Mum who’s not happy. I know all he talks about is his work, and to be honest it’s not actually riveting but he’s been away for nearly three weeks so she could be nicer to him. I’m not sure about mum or what’s going on with her. I’ll talk to dad tomorrow when she’s not around’.

Her Mum was watching another couple on the next table and her dad was just sitting staring out of the window. Jessie got up and walked around to him, hugging him tightly. “Hello beautiful” he said to her smiling. She replied with a big kiss she planted on his already balding head.

Dinner came and they began eating. Linda wasn’t very hungry and picked at hers, which added more speculation for Jessie about her mum’s health. Jessie and her dad were starving. When he had finished a mouthful Brian made a suggestion, very unlike him, as if he was trying to makes things different, better for a change – almost like a last hurrah. “I think it would be really fun if the three of us went away camping for the weekend. What do you say?” he asked. They both looked at him astonished. “What do you mean camping?” Linda asked him. Jessie answered before her dad had a chance to “Mum, camping…. You know, tents, blow up mattresses, bbq”. I know what camping is because we used to do it sometimes years ago, but why now is what I’m asking!”

Jessie felt annoyed with her mum, thinking that even when her dad is trying hard to do something nice for the three of them to share for a change, her mother has to spoil it.

‘Why did he suggest a weekend away? I wonder if he knows anything’ she asked herself, her mind whizzing around. How could he? but he’ll know in a few months anyway. I don’t think he will care really. There’s not much love left in our relationship. It’s not me he wants to see me when he’s home – it’s Jessie. But I’m happy for them, because at least they will have a good relationship no matter what. I’m not too sure what she’s thinking about me though – I mean yesterday being late and my blouse inside out. She can’t know or she would have said something, but does she suspect I wonder’.

“I am so sorry Dad but I can’t afford the time to go anywhere until my final exams are over - after that though we can go”. Jessie felt awful having to say ‘no’ to her dad but it was the truth. She was a good student but only because she put the effort in.

Linda  then told Brian that she had a ‘jam-packed weekend’…and although she didn’t go into detail and didn’t seem disappointed, Brian said he understood completely.

Linda had gone out shopping so it was the ideal time for Jessie to ask her dad some questions. They sat together in the sunroom, warming up from the morning sun filtering in through the window. The cat sat on her lap purring in the warmth.

Jessie came straight to the point. “Dad, is something going on with mum?”

He was caught off guard and sensed that Jessie wouldn’t know anything but knew it had to stay that way, for the time being.

“What do you mean?”

“Well she has been acting weirdly for a while now and I wondered if she was sick. You know when you hear about diseases that affect your mind and make you forgetful and a bit ‘ditzy’….she’s like that at times. It worries me”.

“Jess, your mother’s not sick. You know what she’s like, always has to be busy and doing something. The reason she quit her job was to have a break from it all. Don’t you worry your head about it, concentrate on your final exams and leave the worrying to me, alright?”

“Well she’s been late to pick me up a few times and we’re five minutes away. Yesterday her blouse was inside out and she hadn’t even brushed her hair. That’s just not like her dad”.

 “Oh right…” he said, thinking that no wonder she was surprised to see him home a day earlier – too close for comfort. He looked at his daughter – worried her mum was sick – knowing he could never be the one to tell her the truth; those words would have to come from Linda’s mouth. “Now come here and give your old dad a big cuddle before you hit the books again”.

As she walked away, Jessie turned to ask her dad one last question “Dad, one more thing… Are you and mum happy? It’s just that I never see you laugh or even talk much? And Mum never seems that thrilled when you come back home”.

“You know love, sometimes after a few years, married couples grow apart a little, especially when one of them is away a lot, but it doesn’t always mean anything Jess. We don’t argue, or yell, we just get on with life. Look, we all went out for dinner together last night and had a nice time. The path of life takes funny turns sometimes and it’s only as we grow up that we begin to understand.

Jess didn’t quite grasp what her dad meant but she just left it.

Brian sat thinking about his life. Never one to wallow in self-pity he realised that he had been a mediocre husband but a good dad. He gazed out of the window to the beautiful garden Linda had created and knew he was a lazy person around the house but a great worker at his job. ‘Well you can’t be everything in life, that’s for sure’ he thought as he turned on the television and sat in his favourite chair.

“I don’t love him but I feel sorry for him. He is a good father and loves our daughter. There’s nothing much left between us but I don’t want to hurt him unnecessarily either. He’s never been anything but good to us”. Linda said to the man she really loved.

“So you really will leave him then. I just want to know that we will be together one day”. He said holding her hand.

“You know we will but not just yet. I have to consider Jessie. In a few months she will be finished at High School, she’ll be eighteen and I will tell them both then. Now I have to go and buy something at the shops to take home – I’ve already been away for two hours and have nothing to show for it”.

‘Oh I feel so much better after talking to dad. He’s so level headed and calm’ she thought. ‘Yes mum is always too busy and soon she’ll be back at work and even busier – probably have her skirt inside out then too’ she laughed!

Brian knew about it. Linda didn’t know Brian knew. Jessie knew nothing. All three of them had their own thoughts and ideas but in a few months’ time that would all change, and they would all know the truth.