The Lost Love

July 2025, New York - “Breaking the News”

Her eyes show the unconditional love he didn’t know he needed until he met Kathrine for the first time in a park. Siddharth’s brown skin rubs against her white as his heart warns the mind not to overstep, but things have been beyond his mind’s control in the past 6 months. They make out, not once but twice. He then puts his head on her breasts and stays put for a long time until a constant phone call from the same number kills his moment. He answers it.

“Sid, we did it! I am pregnant,” says Naina on the other end. Siddharth goes numb, and Naina keeps it coming: “I have an appointment with OB at noon. I wish you were here.” Just as he was forming his reply, another voice on the phone call says, “Namaste beta, congratulations!”

His heart beats rapidly, but he manages to utter, “Th- thanks, aunty, sorry I mean, mom.”

“Beta, I am worried about her health. She shouldn’t take a long flight during the first trimester, but if necessary, make sure you reach Canada before she lands”, she adds before Naina gestures to her mother with a finger on her lips and grabs back the phone. She continues to express her joy, and Sid plays along. After the call, he opens his mouth to help him comfortably breathe and absorb the shock.

Sid sits upright on the bed. One of his many concerns is Kathrine’s reaction to this news. “I am having a baby”, he tells her upfront.

“Oh, baby, I am happy for you.” She takes it much better than he had thought. This helps him come to terms with it. He holds her hand to convey that this changes nothing between them. “That’s why I love you, baby, you are perfect.”

10 months ago, Sep 2024, New York – “The Separation”

The taxi driver helps the couple put two large suitcases into the trunk, but doesn’t get the reciprocating smile he thought he deserved. The couple is low and silent. Naina stares back at the balcony of their studio without blinking for long. In that moment, she aims to capture the cherished memories she made there – waving at Siddharth before he steps into his SUV, leaving for office, waiting for him to show up in the evening again, and sipping masala chai with him on the swinging chair. The chair is still there, but she needs to leave for their better future, as Sid perfectly planned. The couple sits in the taxi, and the offended driver puts John F Kennedy Airport on the map - the same airport she landed eight years ago with Sid, coming from India.

Siddharth seems stoic, but soon wipes his wet eyes behind his glasses. The emotions are subtle but enough for the driver to notice and offer a chilled Bisleri, putting his offense behind. Naina opens it and brings it near Sid’s mouth. Sid acknowledges the driver this time, putting him at ease, and sips some water to hydrate himself. He kisses his wife on the cheek and places his arms around her shoulder, “Study well, sweetheart, I’ll find a job there and join you soon.”

Naina lives for these moments; she smiles. She then conveys pointers important to her. “Don’t let your hooligan friends sit in our car or sofa. Remember how that friend of yours spilled chutney on my couch?”

Sid hears it all. Soon, the driver drops them in front of the Air Canada logo at the airport.

Mar 2025, New York – “Three of Us”

Another call goes missing, taking the count of missed calls from Naina to thirteen. Sidharth tosses the phone away onto Naina’s beloved couch and pours himself a third round of Jack Daniels onto the ice cubes in a fancy glass. He doesn’t feel like uttering a word after working 15 hours straight writing software code.

He steps out onto the balcony to sip it comfortably in the swinging chair, when another message from Naina spoils his alone time. “Where the hell are you, Sid? I need you, now!” He makes an annoyed face.

His forehead marks relax, and he loses his senses more as the cool breeze hits him.

He blocks the moon with his thumb and a nearest star with his index finger, squints his eyes, and notices the gap between them. “So near, yet so far,” he murmurs to himself.

Naina sends another impulsive message, but he couldn’t care less. Instead, he chooses to answer a call from Kathrine that follows soon, “Hello, baby, what’s up?” his drunk and calm voice says.

Kathrine, “Just got free from the hospital, what’s up with you?”

Sid responds, “Long day! I have no idea how this company would run without me.”

She smiles. Sid, “How was your day?”

Kathrine, “Well, saved many lives. Don’t know how this world would run without me.”

He laughs. “You win!”

“Like always”, she naughtily says. Her voice is music to Sid’s ears.

“Can’t wait to see you,” Kathrine adds flirtatiously.

“Baby, do you mind if I spend the night alone? I am feeling super exhausted,” he politely mentions.

Kathrine swallows her excitement to meet him and shows her understanding mode, “Totally, you deserve it! I’ll drive home, then. Enjoy your time, honey”.

Her response brings a smile to his face. “You are so amazing. I wish to be with you forever.” His sparkling eyes have a touch of sadness.

“I am the lucky one here, goodnight, Sid!” She soothes his soul with a 60-second phone call.

Naina calls a minute after. Recharged with Kathrine’s love, this time, he answers.

“I have been calling you for the last three hours, and you’re answering someone else’s call?” Her tone makes it obvious that he is up for a long night of explanation and pacification.

“I was in an office meeting,” he nonchalantly replies.

“When do you plan to come here? I am handling it all by myself, taking the public transit to college in cold weather”, she vents out.

He gives the same answer to the same question they have been discussing for the last three months. “Naina, I need to find a job in Toronto before moving there. We can’t start living off our savings. As it is, your college fee has hit our savings.”

“Then find a job fast, Sid. I need you!” Her voice starts to crack.

Sid knows the drill of consoling and pacifying her. “Calm down, baby, I am there for you now.” The Jack Daniels fades away slowly.

August 2025, New Delhi – “Prayers Answered”

Naina stands in front of a magnanimous Lord Krishna idol in a temple full of devotees. She strikes the temple bell to mark her presence. She is wearing a traditional salwar kameez with a bindi and matching chunni. A thick 22-carat gold necklace adds to her grace. Pandit ji (Hindu priest) puts a tikka (an orange mark from dried turmeric) on her forehead to bless her.

Touching her belly, she puts 2100 rupees in the donation box and says, “Pandit Ji, please pray for my baby, and our safe flight. He places his hand on her head, says a little prayer, and offers her prasad. She bows down one final time, looking at idols of different Hindu gods, and exits.

She calls Siddharth to check on his move to Toronto, “Decided on the last day at work?”

Siddharth, “Yeah! I’ll cross the border and reach Toronto on the weekend, just before you land on Monday.”

Naina, “Perfect! I can’t wait to see you at the airport.” Sid tries hard to say the same, but his heart doesn’t give permission. He stays silent.

Naina eagerly awaits his response. “Sid, are you listening?”

He forcefully says it this time. In that moment, he questions himself if he ever loved Naina or if he was just fascinated by the concept of falling in love when he first met her. He has always believed in doing the right thing, but now his heart refuses to play it by the book.

“Listen, Mom, Dad wants to send me some traditional Indian clothes. Would you be able to bring those?” he hesitantly asks.

Her response justified his hesitation, “Oh, Sid, I would hardly have space for those! Moreover, I shopped for a lot of traditional clothes for you. You could tell them you don’t need more clothes.”

Naina never got along with Sid’s family, so he knew he was pushing his luck. “Never mind. I’ll handle it”, he maintains composure.

Sept 2025, New York – “Another Goodbye”

Kathrine picks up a box of novels and puts them on the back seat of Sid’s SUV, alongside many other boxes. “You don’t need to leave your important things for these books, sweetheart,” she mentions for the 3rd time since that morning. Sid hugs her, standing in the same parking lot in front of his apartment, where he kissed Naina when she was leaving for Canada.

“There is no important thing than the books you gave me. They remind me of the time we read together.” This was enough to open the floodgates of emotions Kathrine had planned to keep shut until Sid’s departure. “Will we read together, again?” Seeing her voice crack, Sid breaks into a loud cry.

His knees hit the ground with a look of surrender. No matter how strong he has been, facing all the challenges life threw at him in the past, this one seems too difficult even by his standards. “Oh, Krishna, help me!” he sobs, looking at the sky. Kathrine falls weak too, she folds her legs and sits on the ground next to him. Her white pants pick up the dust from the ground, but she couldn’t care less. Their heads meet at a slant to touch each other’s bodies one last time.

“Kathrine, “Don’t go! You might not be able to come back ever.”

Sid utters while sobbing profusely, “I need to go! I have a responsibility. But I’ll give my everything to make this work. It will be a story to tell.”

Kathrine,” Promise?”

Sid nods, drooling like a kid who has to go to school but doesn’t want to. “I promise! I Promise!”

Kathrine wipes his mouth and kisses him one last time, all over his face.

He sets her love free.

700 kilometers, and 9 hours later, Sid looks at the American flag one last time. The barricades open as he looks ahead at the red maple leaf flag.

October 2025, Toronto – “When Life Happens”

His eyes don’t respond to her the same way. Naina can feel something is off.

Is it their long distance of one full year? Is he tense about finding a new job? She speculates on a dozen things, trying to make sense of Sid’s quietness. These were supposed to be happy times for her, but it has been quite the contrary.

She thinks her deep love for Sid has often been misunderstood as possessiveness by many, including Sid. This was her chance to correct her image by giving him some space. She continues to focus on her college assignments while finding ways, that don’t appear deliberate and desperate, to invoke their lost connection. She talks about their honeymoon days with him, cooks his favorite dishes, and tries to crack jokes that match his humor.

His zero excitement about starting a family together continues to frustrate her.

Naina, “Thought of any names?” Sid is completely clueless. “For what?”

Naina gives him a look, and he suddenly gets it. Sid, “I’ll be fine with whatever you decide.”

This statement usually makes Naina feel like a queen, but not when it comes to her baby’s name. She blows off some steam. “Thanks for making your disinterest so obvious.”, she says as her eyelids widen unintentionally in anger. Sid senses a possible conflict – the thing he hates and avoids the most. “Nothing like that, Naina. I am just worried about finding a job. We are living off our savings.”

Naina shows her support. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. It’s a much better situation than having a job but no baby. We were trying for the last eight years, and God knows, I wouldn’t have gone for IVF again if this embryo transfer wasn’t successful. We should cherish it, shouldn’t we?”

She gets what she feared but didn’t hope, “A gentle nod with a formal smile.”

This is as understanding as she has ever been. Not getting a reward for it throws her off.

“You have looked zoned since the moment I landed at the airport. What’s the problem, Sid?” she demands an explanation.

“I told you it’s a new environment, plus I get tired driving for Uber, I am not used to it.”

“Are you sure? You can open up to me, Sid. I am your wife,” says Naina, acting bold while her heartbeat increases.

He contemplates whether it is the right time to reveal. He chooses to test the waters before diving in. “I-I feel a slight disconnect between us,” utters Sid.

Naina’s world gets shaken, but she waits for him to say more.

“Living away, I realised how different we are from one another, our interests, opinions, nature don’t quite match.” He adds insult to injury.

Naina, “What? Where is this coming from, Sid? Have your parents talked you into this? Is your health okay? Are you dying of some illness and trying to push me away by being mean to me?”

She holds him with both arms and shakes him hard, trying to extract his logical reasoning behind his shocking disclosure.

He looks down in guilt with no answer.

“You do realise that I travelled all the way to India for an embryo transfer to fulfil our dreams.”, she continues to vent, gasping in disbelief. “Is it about sex? Yeah, I’m sure, that’s it. It’s been a year.”

Sid gets annoyed with this remark, “Stop it, Naina, it’s not about sex.”

She immediately dismisses his denial, “I know it is, I am a woman.”

She persistently fights for her love until Sid gives up on the argument. Eventually, they hug and kiss to make peace.

Dec 2025, Toronto – “Letting Go”

Naina is numb and hostile at the same time. She walks in the middle of the road. Cars are forced to press the sudden brake and drive around her until Siddharth comes running to pull her to the roadside. She jerks his hands off her.

Naina, “You filthy pervert. Get off me. You destroyed my entire life in one moment.”

Sid stands still as she throws curses at him, beats his chest, and then cries out loud. He had anticipated her reactions, but couldn’t bury the truth in his heart anymore.

Naina, “You asked me to go to Canada on a study visa, so that you could come on a dependent work permit here for our better future. I was following your plan, dammit! You sent me away to get laid? Is that what I deserve, who the hell is that bitch? I will kill her, I promise. Is she white?

Sid continues to stare down. He doesn’t have the words to justify his actions. Only his heart knows it.

Naina “Say something, you idiot.” She pulls his shirt collar, breaking the button open.

Sid, “We are not good together, Naina. I am sorry, I realised it this late. I accept my fault.” He says these words in as peaceful a way as they could be uttered.

Naina, “And how am I supposed to raise this baby myself?

Sid takes a deep breath and then gathers the courage to say it, “If you don’t want the baby, there is still time.”

As soon as these words reach Naina’s ears, she swings her hands to slap him as tightly as possible. Siddharth takes a couple of breaths to absorb the shock, closes his eyes, and sets aside his man ego to stand his ground.

“How dare you? This baby is the answer to all my prayers. That girl has cast some spell on you. I won’t let you off the hook, Sid. You know the Indian legal system, don’t you?”

This pinches him more than the slap. Sid, “Typical you, dominating and threatening.”

Sid has touched a nerve. ‘Possessive’, ‘dominating’, and ‘controlling’ are the adjectives Naina hates the most being associated with.

Naina fumes as she is unable to find anything.

“If you meet or speak to her again, I will never divorce you, I warn you. And you will never be able to marry that prostitute.” Naina’s bitterness is beyond her control now.

Sid smirks as if he knew it was only a matter of time before Naina showed this side of her nature.

Naina warns him. “You better continue to live with me, for the baby. We can take couples therapy, work on our weaknesses, and work it all out. I still love you enough to forgive you for your sin.”

Sid, “Wow! Is it a suggestion or a warning?”

Naina, “You know the Indian marital law, don’t you? Don’t you dare speak to her again.”

There is fear in Sid’s.

Naina starts sobbing, hearing her own hate, and then sits on the ground helplessly. “Oh, Krishna, help me!.

Sid watches her for a minute and then holds her tight. “You need to eat something, let’s go home.” He gently says.

She pushes him away. Pedestrians passing by notice. Sid leaves her alone to avoid a scene.

Later that day, he makes Uber deliveries to earn money till he finds an IT job.

During her work break in the hospital, Kathrine looks at the sky that goes across the border, where her love is. She dials his number.

He wants to answer it badly to tell her how much he loves her, but unfortunately, he misses his opportunity to focus on the road ahead.