Coming of Age Funny Inspirational

“Little” Suzy’s Resolve

"New Year’s comes but once a year," so the song her daddy sings says. But for “Little” Suzy Conner, once a year is one time too many. Last year, she promised herself she would fulfill her list of resolutions and it never happened. The holidays snuck up on her and by the time the neighbor’s New Year's Eve party came, she was done for. 

But not this time! This time “Little” Suzy had a plan. This time “Little” Suzy Conner would see the New Year in right. This time, she would get them all done before bedtime. Sometimes a 6-year-old has to do what a 6-year-old has to do. 

Why is one so young doing resolutions? Her parents asked her that many times over the year. Her sister Rosy said that to be a big girl you have to have goals. Goals seemed to go hand in hand with being a big girl. “Little” Suzy, decided she would have to prove to her siblings and parents that she had goals and could do it. Unfortunately, last year’s setback in unaccomplished resolutions meant that Suzy stayed "Little". All that would change this year, "Little" Suzy was sure of it.

First resolution: To hold a spider. For longer than Tommy.

Tommy ("Little" Suzy's brother) said that girls were too afraid of bugs and couldn't hold a spider for longer than a few seconds. Granted, she had yet to accomplish those seconds this year, but it wasn't all her fault. Whenever she saw a spider, she forgot to try to hold it and simply squished it with a squeak. 

Well not tonight! Tonight, she would go spider hunting and prove to Tommy she was not “Little” Suzy, but Spider-Holding-Suzy! She just had to find a spider at the neighbor’s party.

Second resolution: To pet Mr. Tasty Cakes, the neighbor’s cat. 

This one may prove difficult as Mr. Tasty Cakes always tries to run away or scratch her. Mommy said once a cat lets you pet it, it was your friend. “Little” Suzy desperately wanted that cat to be her friend. “Little” Suzy wanted to be known as Suzy, Tamer of Mr. Tasty Cakes.

Third resolution: To eat more cookies than the little neighbor boy Whiny Jimmy. Last year, he had challenged her to a contest and she had lost. She had resolved then and there at the next New Year's Eve party she would be the champion and eat more cookies than anyone could imagine, especially Whiny Jimmy. Sadly, she hadn't gotten much practice over the year, since mommy kept telling her, "Only one cookie at a time dear, or you might get a stomach ache." Adults and their made-up rules. 

“Little” Suzy knew she could beat Whiny Jimmy. She had grown a whole 2 inches this year and Jim had only grown 1 ¾ inches. Obviously, she now had more room and the advantage would be hers. She hoped.

Final resolution: To no longer be called "Little” Suzy. She hated that nickname. She was 6 now! Didn't that mean anything these days? By the end of this year, she would be called Suzy and the “Little” could be left in the past. 

“Little” Suzy felt like there was another resolution she was forgetting, something about kissing that her older sister Roxy mentioned. Well, if Suzy didn't remember, it must not have been important. Kissing didn’t seem to be an important enough thing to be made into a resolution anyway.

Mommy called. It is time. Now on to the neighbor's party and let the resolutions be done! It was time for all of “Little” Suzy’s planning to either be accomplished or be a little girl for another year.

* * * 

Everyone looks so sparkly and happy. No one else seems to feel “Little” Suzy's urgency. Part of the reason for this complacency, could be that most of the people at the party don't have a 9 o'clock bed time. It was so unfair! She didn't even have the whole of New Year's Eve to finish her resolutions, only 9:30pm at the latest. “Little” Suzy thinks she might be able to finagle a few more minutes out of her daddy. It was mommy who enforced the bedtimes. Mommy always said that bedtimes weren't for Suzy's benefit, but for mommy's. That didn't make much sense to Suzy, since she was the one always having to go to bed and not mommy. Adults are the strangest. 

Across the room, Little Suzy spots Whiny Jimmy. She can feel her first resolution being completed already. She makes her way across the room to the dessert table. “Little” Suzy looks directly at Jimmy, defiance in her eyes and then takes a cookie off the plate. Whiny Jimmy (so named because he constantly whines if his parents don't give him what he wants), wastes no time in understanding the challenge issued. 

It seems to Suzy that children understand challenges better than adults. That might be why children were the only one to issue challenges. She never saw her parents or older siblings do cookie eating, spitting, or staring contests. Adults must not understand the rules after a certain age. For a moment, Suzy wonders if she wants to be a big girl if it means giving up all these little girl things. Then she looks over at Whiny Jimmy's smug face and decides it is worth the crazy adult rules to beat him and be Cookie-Champion-Suzy. 

Four large gingerbread cookies into their silent contest and Suzy feels good. Jimmy keeps up with her, but he is steadily slowing. She can taste victory in her cookies, grabbing her 5th and stuffing it in her mouth. Her resolution is as good as done. Suddenly, Jimmy stops and looks to his left at the rest of the desserts table. Suzy's favorite cookie might be gingerbread, but Jimmy's is chocolate chip and he sees the motherload of chocolate chip cookie platters. 

As quick as he can, Jimmy grabs cookie after cookie. Stuffing them into his mouth one after another, he quickly overtakes and surpasses “Little” Suzy and she is left in the crumbs. Her first resolution and she won't be able to complete it. She lost.

"Suzy!" cries her mother. "Just how many of those cookies have you had?!" Suzy hangs her head in defeat. Her stomach a little queasy from the humiliation and probably the cookies. How can she beat Jimmy when chocolate chips side with him?

“Little” Suzy looks away from the table and sees Mr. Tasty Cakes. Her second resolution! She rouses herself and takes a few steps towards the cat. Mr. Tasty Cakes is preoccupied with something in the floor. Silent as she can, Suzy approaches the white Persian. She is so close. A little further. She only needs to reach out her hand. 

Mr. Tasty Cakes seems to sense her hand and looks up. The cat hisses and turns away from her with a flick of his tail in the air. His butt her new view as he walks away towards the drink table and more food on the ground. Leftover cookie crumbs are scattered far and wide. Devastation left over from Suzy's battle with Jimmy seems to have scattered further than she thought. 

No! This will not be. Suzy will not fail a second time. She lunges after the cat, her speed verses his nonchalant walk. The cat is surprised by this sudden movement of Suzy's and freezes. Time seems to slow as Suzy approaches her goal. Hand outstretched, gingerbread crumbs still clinging to all her little fingers. Interesting, her hand really does look small, is that why people still call her "Little"? 

Suzy notices something else as time continues to move at a snail’s pace. A piece of string is dangling from the ceiling right in front of her. It looks like a piece of thread her mother would use to sew a button onto daddy's coat. So delicate, but so strong. However, it isn't a needle or a button dangling from this thread. Suzy's face is about to plow straight into the waiting legs (or are they arms?) of a spider. 

Suzy yelps as time speeds up again. There is nowhere to go. Her little legs continue on their straight path, heedless of the bug dangling in her way. Her hand, still outstretched, is so close to the cat. The spider lands on her face. Suzy can't help but close her eyes as she feels the slightest sensation tickling her nose. The spider is moving. 

This was not where the spider meant to land and it moves seeking to remedy its situation. Suzy's hand brushes the tip of the cats upturned tail, right before Mr. Tasty Cakes launches himself into the air right into the waiting platform of the drinks table.

​Suzy's eyes are closed as she swipes at the arachnid now walking across from her nose to her cheek. She feels a sneeze coming on. Mr. Tasty Cakes lands on the drinks table, amazingly avoiding all the glasses of champagne and the punch bowl. Suzy is overcome by the need to sneeze. Unable to stop her forward momentum, there is a collective gasp as everyone in the room sucks in their breath observing the disaster about to happen, but unable to avoid it. 

“Little” Suzy lets out a resounding noise similar to the large sounds her father makes as he sneezes. A thought pops into Suzy's head. In cartoons, sneezes can sometimes propel you backwards! Hoping the force of the sneeze would send her flying backwards counteracting the momentum of her current forward bodily state, she allows the full force of the sneeze to bow her head. It is not to be. The cartoons lied. Forward is still forward. Her body plunges headlong into the New Year’s punch bowl. 

Time slows again as she feels the sticky mess of liquid slosh up onto her arms and face. The spider also seems frozen in place on her face due to the sugary substance now coating its body. Suzy hears rather than sees Jimmy tell his mother that he is about to be sick. Peeking out of her gooey eyelids, Suzy sees on the corner of the table, looking very indignant, a slightly pink Mr. Tasty Cakes. 

Suzy rises from the disaster, a noise like a dying horse reaching her ears. Finally able to use her sleeve to scrub away some of the gunk obstructing her eyes, Suzy looks around for the source of the noise. It is her mother. Laughing. In fact, everyone seems to be laughing, except for poor "Upchucking" Jimmy who is heard in the bathroom throwing up his cookies. 

Suzy sheepishly looks around and is happy to see there is not a big mess. Most of the punch landed on the tile floor, her dress is ruined, but that is no great loss to Suzy. Mr. Tasty Cakes will recover after a good licking and possible bath from his owners, and Suzy feels a slight tickling on her face. The spider is still attached to her face! She has been holding or rather carrying it the whole time. Beat that record, Tommy!

Overall, as the Conners leave the party early that evening and as she is being tucked into bed earlier than 9 o'clock, Suzy reflects on the evening and her resolutions. She did it. She even got a kiss from her parents under a ball of green leaves, which Rosy had sworn was where she and cute Steve were supposed to kiss. Daddy didn't like that apparently. 

Smiling broadly now she closes her eyes to sleep. Suzy has proven girls can hold spiders for as long as Tommy can. Even more impressive, she held it on her face! Maybe she will challenge Tommy to resolve to do that next year.

She may have lost the cookie eating contest. Simply based on how many cookies she ate compared to Jimmy, but he was unable to keep his down. In the world of challenges and stomachs, this must count as a win for Suzy, since she was able to keep her cookies in her tummy and Jimmy couldn't. 

Mr. Tasty Cakes may not be her friend yet, but they will always share this memory together and that is always how one starts friendships. Isn't it? Building memories upon memories until they meld into each other. 

Best of all, what her father had said as he tucked her into bed,

"Well, my Wild Suzy, you certainly are entering this New Year with a bang." 

Wild Suzy is definitely a better nickname.  She is “Little” no more.


January 06, 2023 02:21

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