Haunted

It was the hottest day of the year and Joseph was shivering from the cold. The chill crept along the nape of his neck, lifting the short black hairs. His fingers were icy and numb as he anxiously watched the flickering shadows from the corner of his eye. He had always considered himself a practical man – only fools who needed a security blanket could believe in anything they couldn’t see. Yesterday, he would have laughed at the idea that spirits were real, but what he was experiencing defied every practical explanation.

Tingles of fear raced down Joseph’s back as a human form emerged from the flickering shadows to his left. He didn’t turn his head; he was frozen in place, watching the figure waver and then move out of his peripheral vision. A bead of sweat traced a path from his hairline to his chin. Joseph couldn’t remember feeling this scared since he was a small boy, frozen under his comforter, sure that a monster hid beneath his battered bed frame, patiently waiting to grab his foot and drag him away. He remembered his mother, gently drying his tears and stroking his head to calm him, assuring him that monsters weren’t real. But everyone eventually learns that monsters DO exist, right? Only they wear human faces and don’t tend to lurk under little boys’ beds. With a sinking feeling, Joseph considered that his 5-year-old self may have had the right of it. Maybe monsters were just out of sight.

He sighed through chilled lips, surprised his breath didn’t steam into the humid August air. Only a few moments ago, life was moving forward as usual and now Joseph was seeing shadowy figures and hearing muted whispers when he was most definitely alone. He shivered again, his breath coming faster as he listened and watched.

Grandpa had insisted that heaven and hell were real places but, despite a childhood spent in church services, Joseph had firmly rejected that notion, much to his grandparents’ dismay. He was noncommittal regarding most of the ideas he had been raised with, but from age 14 until today, Joseph had been absolutely sure that the notion of “life after death” was bullshit. All we had was our life here and now, followed by endless nothing. When people died, they were just gone. He should know. He had lost everyone.

It was strange, Joseph thought, to be 32 years old and discovering that maybe you really knew nothing at all. If ghosts were real – and judging by the figures becoming ever clearer on his left, that was a definite possibility – then maybe everything was real. Maybe there really had been a monster under his bed. Maybe people could be reincarnated as worms. Maybe angels were invisibly flying everywhere. Maybe Bigfoot was lurking in the woods, just outside. Or maybe he was just losing his mind.

“…he is….wanted….if…” Random words, barely intelligible in the whispers. Joseph’s legs felt heavy, prickling with cold fear. “…didn’t think…hope….ready…” a different, deeper voice, still hushed. The whispers seemed to be coming from the air all around. A figure, definitely person-shaped, shifted on Joseph’s left. His neck creaked as he turned his head just a little. The dark shadows of the figures were fading into shades of gray, their smoky edges becoming more defined. A glowing orb shot across his field of vision and another bead of sweat started oozing down Joseph’s face. This couldn’t possibly be happening, right? Cold fear settled into his stomach, stealing Joseph’s breath. There were definitely three figures moving on his left. One lifted a hand as if in greeting. Joseph shivered in the heat.

“….he was always…but such….I am sorry…glad…” the deeper voice murmured. A higher-pitched response: “…I…missed him…” The tight fist of fear loosened a bit. The voices didn’t seem hostile; their tone seemed soothing, and Joseph considered for the first time that maybe the horror movies were wrong and not all spirits were vengeful. Perhaps ghosts were just normal people? He couldn’t make out faces on the forms, but he could distinguish limbs and outlines now.

One of the smoky figures appeared to be wearing a dress and Joseph remembered hiding his small face in his grandmother’s flared skirt, fighting tears because now he had to be a man. He blinked at the memory, almost feeling his grandmother’s cool hand on the back of his neck and smelling her White Shoulders perfume. If there was some sort of existence after death, wouldn’t his mother have haunted him that day? Wouldn’t she have appeared to her mother and her son next to her grave? Instead, there was only the emptiness after she was gone.

Joseph had at least been able to entertain the idea of heaven and hell and an afterlife until Bobby died. If anyone had a strong spirit and would stick around, it would be a 14-year-old boy. Joseph had hoped for a sign from his best friend – the baseball nut, the video game fanatic, the class clown – but he saw none. A drunk driver hit him as he was walking his bike to baseball practice, and he was just gone. A stupid flat front tire left Bobby in the wrong place at the wrong time, and a car salesman crushed the life out of him after a 3-martini lunch. Joseph pictured Bobby walking his bike along that road and had a strange feeling of déjà vu, anxiety circling his chest like a belt.

“….almost…been so long….” a stronger whisper tugged Joseph’s attention back to the apparitions on his left. Another drop of sweat started to tickle a path down Joseph’s forehead and he lifted a numb hand to wipe it away before it could sting his eyes.

A louder voice now, “are you okay….called….their way…” Joseph couldn’t tear his eyes away from the red smear on his hand. Why was his sweat bloody? Panic burned in his belly and sat heavy on his chest as Joseph’s breathing sped up.

“Joey.” The sweetest voice, coming from his right. Joseph slowly turned his head, his neck creaking. His mother smiled at him from the passenger seat, her hair golden in the sunshine, hand outstretched for him. “It’s time, honey.”

Suddenly, Joseph remembered cresting the hill and spotting the boy walking his bike along the road. Just like Bobby. Startled, he jerked the wheel to the left and slammed on the brakes but the car skidded down the embankment before coming to a grinding, sudden stop. Joseph could see the gnarled bark of a towering oak through the shattered windshield and sighed with relief. He had missed the kid.

Joseph smiled back at his mom and whispered, “I really missed you,” as he took her hand and stepped out of his old life and into the arms of his grandparents and Bobby, waiting for him outside his door. The sound of approaching sirens broke the stillness of the hottest day of the year.