"You Don't Get A Wife And A Girlfriend Too!"

“You Don’t Get A Wife AND A Girlfriend Too!”

Screaming at the top of her voice stretching her lung capacity to its limits, Destiny shouted, “Let’s just be friends,” Sterling! Sterling matched her tone by screaming at the top of his lungs in response, “Yea, let’s just be friends!” Stomping out of his house with smoke billowing from both of their ears, they walked somberly to their respective cars as if walking away from a gravesite.A room full of blind people would have known that neither one of them was ready to give up on their relationship. Destiny was too prideful to run back into Sterling’s arms, and he was entirely too stubborn to chase after her.

When they met for the first time eleven years ago, Sterling was going through a nasty and bitter divorce. He had run across Destiny’s picture on the social media page of a dear colleague in the ministry. One sunny Sunday afternoon, Sterling worked up the nerve to slide into Destiny’s private chat and ask her out to dinner. Destiny was not surprised, as she had felt an unmistakable warmth and attraction in the comments they exchanged on their posts. She liked Sterling’s bright and witty contributions to their conversations, and his handsome photos were not exactly hard on her eyes.

Finally, the afternoon had come for their brunch date. It was summertime in Chicago and couples were out in full swing enjoying the city’s beautiful lake front. They met at a Texas Roadhouse in Sterling’s suburb, which was called, of all things, Romeo, Illinois. Destiny arrived early so she would have a seat facing the door when he arrived. She looked gorgeous in her beautiful fruit-colored maxi sundress with her shoulder-length gray hair accenting just the perfect shade of red lipstick. Somewhere around five minutes to the agreed upon arrival time, down the aisle floated a tall, handsome, older “Barak-Obama-looking” gentleman toward her table. One thing was for sure, she had not been catfished.She knew he was good looking and tall, but she did not know that he had a devastating pair of brown eyes that seemed to smile. She couldn’t say it was “love at first sight,” but it was certainly an extreme version of “like at first sight!” The conversation flowed just as effortlessly and magically as it had online. She found his soft spoken voice to be warm, pleasant, and comforting.

Halfway through her delicious catfish dinner, Destiny could not shake the irresistible feeling that this man was simply too good to be true. “How could such a kind, warm, and smart gentleman like this possibly be single,” she wondered to herself. Or, perhaps she was leaning toward a “Chicken Little the sky is falling” mentality her friends had often warned her about. Alas, she gave into the nagging feeling that she should pop the question to Sterling, and so she did. Staring this virtual stranger eyeball to eyeball and nose to nose, Destiny calmly asked, “Sterling, are you married?” Hoping against hope his answer was no, her heart sank to the floor as he echoed those devastating words, “I am going through a divorce.” How many times had she heard that! Why didn’t he tell her before he chased her all over the internet? A thousand questions and scenarios ran through her mind as she tried to hide her disappointment and maintain her composure.

She listened thoughtfully, intensely, and with great grace as Sterling shared the events that had brought about the end of his marriage. Simply put, he caught his wife in the act of cheating on him.Destiny believed he was being honest, but she still felt as if she had been stung in her heart by a thousand wasps.The potential love of her life was a married man who may have very well been an imposter handing her the same line he may have handed every other woman he chased around the internet. But there was something different about Sterling – or was it? Or was Destiny simply, as the kids call it these days, “thirsty?” She had to admit that she felt sorry for him because there seemed to be an aura of naivety surround him. In spite of her heart feeling as if it was falling through the floor, she sincerely felt that she wanted him in her life, even if it they would only be friends.

Things ended so well that day that the very next day they went to an afternoon matinee of the movie, “Southside to You,” which was ironically the love story of the meeting of Barak and Michelle Obama.

Sterling opened the car door and reached for Destiny’s hand as they crossed the parking lot to the theater. The touch of his hand felt so right in her hand. She felt a connection so strong that she was sure he must have felt it as well.After the movie they grabbed a meal of hamburgers and French fries at a local diner. Suddenly, in the middle of the meal, Sterling whizzed around on his colorful barstool and from out of nowhere said to Destiny, “Be my girlfriend?” It was such a surprise that they both shared a hearty and spontaneous laugh out loud moment. Very sweetly, Destiny told Sterling that she enjoyed his company so very much, but that where she was concerned, he could not have a wife and a girlfriend! He smiled a defeated, yet charming, smile.Destiny knew by the smirk on his face he was not about to give up on her. It was already too late! He was smitten with her beautiful eyes and gorgeous smile. Sterling knew he had found his match in this elegant and classy kindhearted woman.

After their early dinner, Sterling took Destiny to his home, which was a lovely and very tastefully decorated three bedroom condo with an enclosed garage.He was a former police officer who went to college and received a degree in finance, which led to him owning his own insurance company. He was a very successful man. After spending a few weeks with Sterling, which included going to her church, which he loved, and meeting her sons and grandkids, Destiny was comfortably convinced that his divorce was, indeed, clearly in the works. She was a Christian woman who was celibate, and Sterling was willing to wait.

The crossroads in their relationship came the day Sterling had to have a CT scan with iodine contrast. The test is painless, but having iodine injected into your body during the test makes the body feel as if it was on fire.Destiny hated those tests with a passion, as she had to have them when she had kidney issues. The thought ran across her mind at work that afternoon that Sterling might be a little apprehensive about this test. So, she closed up the office, packed up her things, and made the one hour trek through traffic across town to wait with him for his test.The second thoughts came when she arrived at the building and realized that he could have another woman with him. After all, she thought, they had never discussed exclusivity. The nurse at the reception desk took her directly to where Sterling was waiting. Destiny realized she did not know what his reaction would be, but as she rounded the corner, there he sat by himself reading a newspaper. Needless to say, she was uber relieved. The real reward came when he looked up and saw her and his face lit up like a Christmas tree in front of Macy’s Department store. He was sincerely happy to see her! They became closer than before from that day.

Time after time, Sterling asked again, “Will you be my girlfriend?” He did it so much that it became a source of laughter for them both. And again, and again, Destiny flatly refused him repeating what had become “their” favorite line, “You don’t get a wife AND a girlfriend!”

In November, on the heels of the holidays, Destiny had to have experimental surgery to place titanium on her ribs. She was run over by a car, while walking four years earlier and developed something called flail chest, which meant that her ribs healed pointing upwards.As a result, Destiny never inhaled or exhaled without excruciating pain. She had learned to live above the pain because her only choice would have been to stay in bed, depressed, for the rest of her life. Destiny was adventurous and a go-getter. She was not the kind of woman that would allow anything to keep her down for long. Sterling was not only by her side the entire time, he graciously opened his home to her BFF, Katherine, who flew in from Georgia for the surgery. Sterling drove Katherine crazy going from grocery store to grocery store so he could be sure to have on hand whatever Destiny’s heart desired for when he picked her up from the hospital. He was truly devoted to her.

On the Sunday after her surgery, Destiny’s friend, Timmy, whom she had known her entire life, showed up at the hospital to visit. Timmy had picked up her mom from her house, and Katherine from the airport. On this day, Timmy did not come empty-handed. He brought Destiny a beautiful wine glass his artistic daughter had hand-painted, as well as some expensive chocolates. The day before her surgery, Timmy had lost his best friend, Macon, whom he and Destiny had known since their teenage years, and he was pretty bummed out about it. Once you reach a certain age, the death of friends, in particular, tends to bring one face-to-face with their own mortality. When Sterling showed up at the hospital, he was not happy to walk in the room and see a very handsome stranger sitting next to the bed of his beloved Destiny – girlfriend or not! Before Sterling could get in the room good, Destiny immediately began introducing Timmy saying, “This is Timmy, my childhood friend. Our mother’s changed our diapers, respectively – that’s how far we go back.There was never a time we did not know each other.” Timmy’s visit was short-lived because Sterling acted as if he were Superman and Timmy was kryptonite.

Two days later Sterling asked the question Destiny expected would come by virtue of his behavior at the hospital. He asked, with great consternation, “So who is this Timmy fella’”?Once again, Destiny calmly explained, adding a few more important details to the story of Timmy’s presence in her life. One thing was clear, which nobody could do anything about, and that was the fact that Timmy and Destiny had chemistry, which bordered on the supernatural, but what she and Sterling had was divine! Sterling didn’t understand that “Timmy and Destiny” did not exist as a couple anymore – that was only in their teen years! Chemistry does not necessarily a good relationship make!

Destiny explained, in great detail this time, that Timmy was not only still married, he was separated from his wife, had a live-in girlfriend, and another “chick on the side” at the local tennis court. If Sterling only knew Destiny better, perhaps he would have concluded that there was no way a class act like Destiny was going to go for a guy like Timmy. Sterling wasn’t buying any of it because he sensed that, in his own words, “Timmy has designs on you!” No matter what Destiny said, Sterling was incensed that Timmy was alive and breathing the same air as the two of them. Sterling was convinced that he was the one for her, “not some Timmy fella!”

Destiny had grown to love Sterling, but there were some major hurdles that needed to be crossed before she could fully give her heart to him, although she wanted nothing more. Truth be told, her heart was already in Sterling’s back pocket – Sterling just didn’t know it. Timmy was, and had been, a thing of the past. They had not seen one another for well over 20 years and were nothing more than friends. Timmy had grown up in years, but not in maturity in many ways, especially when it came to women. He was, and always had been, a womanizer, and she had escaped his trap, but yet, she counted him as a friend because there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her and her mom.

The straw that broke the camels back happened when Destiny and Timmy lost a dear adopted brother. Sterling was out-of-town when Ryan died. At the time Destiny could not drive because she had not healed from her experimental surgery. Sterling had what Destiny liked to call a “hissy” fit because she could not drive to the funeral and where she lived was so far that Timmy was the only one who could pick her up. He made it clear that the last person he wanted her riding with was Timmy, but he was stuck in Florida trying to get rid of property for his divorce settlement. Destiny was honest with him and told him that she had was going to ride with Timmy because she was not about to miss the funeral of their adopted little brother. Sterling grew distant with Destiny over the next few days. It broke her heart that he did not trust her. It also puzzled her greatly that a man would want to be in a relationship with someone he did not trust. It made absolutely no sense at all to Destiny.

Once Sterling decided to communicate again with Destiny, by that time she had unwittingly gotten mixed up in the middle of his nasty divorce at the hands of his evil stepdaughter. The young woman mistakenly thought that Destiny was with Sterling in Florida and decided to make Destiny look like a homewrecker on social media. Destiny deleted the post and in a private chat politely explained to the stepdaughter that she was at home flat on her back recovering and wishing that the little girl’s words were true! When Destiny told Sterling about the encounter, he never apologized. He simply asked her if she saved the dialogue so he could use it in his divorce case.It was just too much drama for Destiny in what had been an otherwise wonderful relationship.

On Christmas Eve, when Sterling was on his way home from Florida, Destiny told him that the relationship was over. It broke her heart to do it, and it meant that she was also going to be alone for the holidays, but it would not be right to entertain Sterling, and then accept a gift from him. She did not know him well enough to know how he would react in person to the break up. Of course, like any red-blooded American man, Sterling accused Destiny of being involved with another man, which made sense. It was Christmas Eve, and what woman breaks up with someone on a holiday not to be with another man? Nobody!But Desitny was different, and she did not blame Sterling for being upset and angry. She even felt that he might bring her an engagement ring. Yes, it was too soon, and his divorce wasn’t final, but Sterling made no bones about the fact that he was absolutely head over heels for Destiny, and it was clear in a short time that he loved her dearly.Destiny just could not bring herself to do that to him, nor was she going to fight to be with someone who did not trust her. Oh, how she wished that Sterling had just waited until his divorce was final to come after her. Destiny found herself, in the words of the popular movie, “Home Alone” on Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day.

Months went by, and Sterling called inviting Destiny to dinner – but she refused. He was divorced by this time, which was on Valentine’s Day, just as he said it would happen. She was learning that although his timing in some matters was off, he truly was an honest man, and a man of his word.

Destiny could not go back to working in the office and was fired. Always enterprising and not having a lazy bone in her body, she started driving for Lyft and Uber. Sterling called a couple of months later, and she shared that information with him. A few months after that, he called again and asked her to Uber him to the airport. Again, she refused, but she still loved him.

Six months later, Destiny was laid off of her new job. Although she was not aware, Sterling had retired and moved 600 miles away -- to her favorite state on the planet -- Georgia. She had seen a picture of him with a stunning woman that same week. She sent him a private message complimenting him on his stunning new girlfriend. He immediately responded that they were not together and that he still loved me. Soon after landing a new job, Destiny visited Katherine in Georgia, so she reached out to Sterling. He invited her to visit him at his home, which was about an hour away from Katherine. When Sterling opened the front door of his lovely new home, two of the cutest dogs in the world jumped all over her, and it was clear, she fell in love with them “at first sight!” As the dogs parted the way for their Master to come to the door, once she laid eyes on him, she was sure, this time, that it was love,“ at second sight!”