Farewell

A promise was never broke by Terrance, but that wasn’t the sole reason he agreed to take a taxi down to the bread store and meet Barbra. Behind his exterior was a longing he felt as he glanced out the window while the yellow wagon trailed through a sheet of rain, slapping the pavement without mercy. He couldn’t help but question this single promise that he’s made to say goodbye. The girl who was no longer there had finally vanished from the presence of his daydreams it seems only for a faint moment, and not long after the Hanz family tells him to leave the city or his family gets a hit. His confliction was met with a desire to have somewhat of a noble conclusion to his dirty life, and in this false dream, he felt that a farewell to Barbra was the way to go before leaving the town. 

He stepped out of the cab and into the rain, only giving a gentle nod and ‘bye’ to the driver before giving him a stack of cash for avoiding busy roads. It wasn’t like him, but he even told the man ‘thank you’ and shook his hand, and without looking back or even covering from the rain he heading inside of La Pan Palace Bakeria. he was greeted by a rush of warm and savory scents that danced in the air. All kinds of foods were sat out front behind a glass screen looking pretty. When Terrance walked up to the glass to spectate he heard a voice from behind. His head tilted up. Barbra’s hair was always recognizable, and her uniform although different was that of a working woman. She made him lose his sternness that he had entered with, and without hesitation, he spoke, “Hey, Barbra.” 

“Hey, can you sit over by that table?” she said. Her voice was forward and consistent, a tone that was almost the opposite of friendly, but not quite. 

“Over where?” he asked. 

“See that table.” she pointed to the loneliest table he had ever seen by the window and said no more. He nodded. Heading over casually pulling out a cigarette with a match ready. 

“Place looks good,” he spoke calmly like always. “I remember the donuts and sweetbread here were some of the best in the whole city. “

“Thank you.” Barbra sat herself down near the window. Terrence was astonished by the woman that sat next to him, and how the girl he once knew was no more, but somewhere was the remains of the past pleasures, teasing his persona a bit. 

“How’s your family?” he asked.

“Still running the place,” she answered. “-Hey, could you put out that cigarette.” 

“What, no smoking in this joint?” he gave a witty smirk. 

“Just put it out.”

Surprisingly she spoke like it was business. As if this wasn’t two old lovers meeting up to catch up and then say goodbye, but instead two people having a stern talk. 

Terrance laughed it off as some kind of joke and said, “Alight,” burning out the cigarette and pocketing its corpse. 

“Can I get you anything?” she asked. 

“Yeah, lemme get a donut or something.”

She brought it over and sat down in the way she was before--exact. The rain was beginning to slap the window, softly grabbing the attention of Terrence. 

“You know what… lemme have some sweet bread,” he changed his mind. 

“You got a donut,” she became a bit frustrated but shook it off like a mother would a child. In a sense, Terrence was a child forever stuck in the legacy of his mafia father and the hierarchy of organized crime life. Terrence was able to see something in the young Barbera.; somewhat of a legacy, and not just any kind, but the kind that he lacked. He had everything, yet nothing. While the rain came crashing and the dull cigarette lingered in his coat pocket this became more relevant. 

“Listen I gotta be somewhere soon, Like really soon, so could we chat?” he asked. 

“Well I’ve had a hard time getting hold of you, but whatever you need to do can wait.” her eyes sharpened. “I can’t wait any longer, Terrance. My family has been struggling to keep this place up, and I have no time for any of your games.

“Alright,” Terrence laughed. 

Barbra‌ leaned in closer. “I’m serious.” 

“Okay. what is it?” he asked. 

“I,m pregnant.” 

There was a brief silence, then, “What?” Terrence invested her eyes but found no humor. “You’re kidding, right? This has to be a joke.”

“I’m not playing with you. This is nothing to play about.”

“Then the baby’s not mine.”

Barbra’s hand passionately slammed across Terrences’s left cheek, just loud enough for Barbra‌’s Abuela to hear all the way in the back.   

“That was uncalled for in many areas… I mean really what did I do? Did I say something false,” Terrence’s plea just increased the anger.

“What do you mean. Of course, you said something wrong. You said so much wrong in that one sentence you idiot. You haven’t changed one bit I see-”

“-And so have you,” he interrupted. “Yeah, you’re still a self-centered daddies girl.”

“What does that make you,” She said. “A childish man with daddy issues. It doesn’t take much to know the child is yours.”

Terrence placed his hand on his bottom lip and sighed. “Well it was only one time,” he said, blinking at her. “It was just that-that one time Barbra.”

“One time is all it takes,” she peacefully responded, and the silence that followed was met with a loss of words that stuck to Terrence. 

At that moment he wanted to have a reason that it wasn’t his. Any reason possible would have been good enough for him, but the facts were laid out perfectly, and despite the inconvenience, there was no denying the painful truth. She was far from a lier. Unfornatanatly. 

“Well… I’m leaving town as I said, but I’ll buy you anything you need. Better yet I’ll give you the money. I was saving this cash, but I’ll have more sent to you while I’m gone.”  

Every second that passed gave the two a strange feeling. The scent of sweetbread and coffee became tainted like poison. Heartless as he seemed there hadn’t been much choice. ‘Skip town or die’, those were the Hanz Mafia’s exact words, and like a bad dream those exact words sang a lonely ballad in his head, ‘Skip town or die’. Anger, love, memories, and self-destructive shame wasn’t enough to convince Terrence to stay; but those eyes--green bleeding glances, those that watched him with intent were his weakness.  No promises made, so no harm done (he wish this was true), but that wasn’t the case. 

“Just go,” Babra said, killing the moment as it was barely alive, and the pale sky just outside the bakery’s window made it worse than it was. 

“Thanks for the donut. I’m sorry my ride is on its way, but I won’t forget to contact you and give you the money. Bye.” 

The two parted. When he made it outside it was hard to tell, but he had tears in the rain. He never cried much. Not even when his father passed. Not really.

The dull drive teased him meaninglessly as he drove into the abyss with the knowledge he’ll never return. What mattered wasn’t what mattered, but it stabbed him violently in his heart. What a way to leave. To live.