Caught in the Dark

Begrudgingly, Lilith woke up. She pulled herself out of bed like an animal clawing at its prey, as she pulled herself slowly up, she dressed into her uniform sloppily, the lights still out; not that her dim lightbulb would do much either. She looked at her clock, the dusty red letters read 7:00, she stumbled down the stairs drawing her blazer on as she grabbed her bag and walked out the door, she dragged her feet on the cold frosty pavement down her road as the evergreen trees swayed slightly in the cold breeze. She let out a small shiver; her coat was left somewhere amongst the pile of clothes in her house. As she trekked to the bus stop the small bus drew up letting out the signature, pshh sound that the doors made. She hauled herself up the steps tapping her card and nodding to the bus driver as she slumped into the back seat. She pulled her headphones out and jammed them as far as they could go into her ears before making sure the wire was connected before she began blasting music down it. She yawned and stretched over the chair, as the scenery blended into one mix of grey and beige tainted with music. She lent her head on the plastic casing of the bus and relaxed. She didn’t realize how far they had traveled until an influx of children wearing the same uniform as her spilled into the bus infecting it with their monotonous chatter. A girl that had blonde hair and a suit of armor made from the badges coating her blazer in a colorful metallic sheen, her eyes were ocean blue and she had chocolate brown freckles lightly dusted over her face, she too was listening to music although Lilith could only assume the music that the girl was listening to where quite different to the music she was listening to. The bus soon drew to a cold slow exasperating stop. She lived quite far away from the school, after they moved, Lilith grabbed her bag from the floor and slowly filed out with the others. The shards of ice hung like dew drops from the decrepit leaves still holding on to their short lives. Lilith looked at her watch as she shivered in the icy air. The doors opened and the numb children flooded into the warmth of the corridors. They marched like programed robots on the left to their class-a ritual drilled into them for years-Liliths form class was a maths classroom, the numbers that Lilith despised lined the walls, the phrase Soh Cah Toa took center stage around triangles and numerous formulas that Lilith could never remember. Her assigned seat was the second row, furthest from the door closest to the window. The only person next to her was a loud brutish boy that had bounced around schools and always caused teachers problems; the only upside was that he was often suspended. Mr Sanderson, their form teacher was a slightly balding man who was almost definitely going through a divorce although surprisingly didn’t take it out on the children. He wore a stained grey shirt and a black tie, he had small beady eyes and had half-mooned glasses. He began talking to the class about the new uniform policy that would be implemented,although it didn’t matter to them since it was their last year of school. As the man finished up his explanation, a slightly chubby boy with flat chestnut brown hair and matching eyes waltzed in, he had a blue bag on and a smug grin on his face: Liam. He came in and sat down next to Abby staring at the teacher hoping to get a rise out of him, a show, but Mr Sanderson didn’t get paid enough to care so just carried on talking. Liam, obviously defeated, began swinging on his chair, a practice that could get you crucified. Mr Sanderson’s eyes darted to him flickering with anger, and Liam's smug grin was revived, as Mr Sanderson opened his mouth a ringing bell went and the class practically leapt out of the door-not wanting to remain for the fall out. The corridors were packed with people. Most of which had bags under their eyes, big enough to hold a family food shop, from late night studying. The younger years that had lessons on the top floor began running up the stairs, shoving their friends into the dusty white walls filling the bleak tone of the corridors with screams and laughter. Lilith slumped down onto her small plastic chair in a geography lesson, the teacher had glasses that were way too big for her face and shoes that gave her a few extra much needed inches. The teacher droned on about the impacts of urbanization and almost sent Lilith back to sleep. She completed the minimal amount of work dragging it out to avoid the extension. The rest of the day came as a blur and before she even registered what she had learnt in geography the steady pssh of the doors opening told her to get off the bus. Her house was made of red brick, decayed by time. She lived in a middle class area although all the other houses were in much better condition and most were made of beige brick. Her mum opened the door for her, she had pale blonde hair and green eyes, her hair held into a bun that was fastened by a pen. Her mum smiled at her concealing the worry crawling inside her, crawling in her skin, destroying her. Lilith pretended it was all okay for her mum's sake rather than hers. She flashed her smile back at her mum before walking into her house, which now smelt like a concoction of rouge herbs and spices.

“Spiced chicken.” Her mum informed her

Dads favorite. Although that was better left unsaid. Lilith returned to her habitat upstairs and flopped on her bed. She didn’t see the point in doing anything when dinner was probably going to be ready soon. She pulled the handmade blanket over her and stared into the flaky white paint above her, the sky slowly dimming as the sun was slowly kidnapped and replaced by the moon.

“Lilith!” Her mum called

Lilith practically leapt up. She was in her own world, void from distractions and her mum had unintentionally blown it up. She slapped on her plain pajamas, and trudged downstairs to see her mum dishing up a chicken with roasted potatoes and carrots cut vertically on the side. She grabbed her plate and lolloped onto the dilapidated sofa. Her mum crashed down beside her. The first bite of the chicken filled her mouth with a flavorful pop. The heat created a mild irritation to the mouth, but Lilith preferred it like that. Her mum turned on the television and the blue glow illuminated both of them. Her mum began the routine of channel hopping until she found a reality T.V show where most of the women had too much plastic surgery causing them to look like clowns. Not long after the climax of the episode Abby finished her meal and the dusk had begun to dawn on the house. Abby walked up the stairs and pulled out her textbooks and pencil case, she shut her curtains and dimmed her light. She draped her comfy blanket over her shoulders and cracked her back on the budget chair. She clicked her pen on and off as she found the page that detailed how to write in a way that fit your genre. She pulled out her thick notebook brimming with extra sheets of paper and bursting with information vital to her English GCSE. She wrote out the title-genre-in the middle in a baby blue before writing everything she needed to know, her mind racing with thoughts that had been suppressed by the day contained by the shackles of the sun. She poured her heart onto the page, as the moon began to glimmer through the curtains, she moved onto the next page in around half an hour, racing against the clock to cram every part of knowledge she would need into her brain to store it on the page. She guarded that notebook like her life depended on it. She had one for every subject, but that one was extra special. As she completed four more double page spreads she decided that she had had enough of repeating what was already in front of her. She opened her a4 college ruled notebook she kept in a makeshift hidden compartment beneath her desk. She flicked through pages and pages of her novella. It detailed the life of an android who was a slave to human kind although as the android named A884 (or Abby as fellow androids called her) began to be more and more human causing the family to ask the question what makes something human? She planned for Abby to kill the family due to a build up from harsh treatment although as the book slowly played out it seemed that the family would have to terminate her, scared to be considered android sympathizers. She had set the story in a world where the oppressive government controlled the time, which always seemed to disrupt either Abby’s or the Family’s plan. As she picked up from where she left off chapter by chapter Abby's end drew near. Lilith hesitated before writing chapter 32:termination, in the margin, but dotted the I’s with a skull and a heart respectively. The chapter was from the families point of view, it showed the family turmoil in which they decided to kill Abby, although as she heard the creek of the stairs she was captured and dragged out of her own universe.

“Lilith?” Her mum called

Lilith stowed away the book and replaced it with the textbook

“Yeah?” She called back

“I’m going to bed now, you should soon.”

Lilith nodded as if her mum could hear her. She stared at the page filled with information about genres and glanced at the little notebook, the writing filled with such determination, vigour; such purpose. Why could she be like this in the day? The question gnawed at her like a beaver at a tree. It destroyed her. She had tried to stop, but she seemed to be addicted to the euphoria of writing in the dark, the harshness of the day seemed to destroy any creativity left in her. She hadn’t the resources to do the research but the fear of her being mentally ill after her dad died scared her. She couldn’t tell anybody. She brought her small notebook out and began taking notes but the letters seemed to crumple under the pressure, they seemed to be scared of something. She shut her stuff away before turning into bed, her covers acting as a safe haven for her to be vulnerable and safe. For her to be afraid.