2nd of February 1989 

Remember that beautiful postcard we found last September, the one I sent Mircea, with the red and pink carnations? Well, he sent it back without even signing it, the pig. Can you believe him? Anyway, since you liked it so much, I put it in the envelope with this letter. You have it. I don’t even want to look at it anymore. That jerk doesn’t deserve it. Or any of my attention. I can’t believe I said I loved him. I really don’t. I’ve talked to father to put in a good word for him with comrade Vasiu for a Fram fridge. You know how my dad is. I had to beg him for 3 days; kept telling me he was going to owe comrade Vasiu, even though I told him Mircea had money to pay himself. He got really mad. And I'm the fool who got scolded for a prick who doesn’t even bother to call and say thank you. In fact, he hasn’t called me in over a week. I’m not going to suffer any longer. If he doesn’t want us to be together, he should say so. What a prick. Do you think I should call him sometime? I really think I should. Just to tell him I don’t need to see him anymore. He never liked me talking so much. And that I’m not allowed to stay out past 9. As if it’s my fault father is strict. He's not even that strict, he lets me use the telephone whenever I want, you know that. 

The only thing I don’t like is when he has me go and stand in line for food in his place. Tomorrow is my turn again to go get some salami and a packet of butter, so I’ll have to wake up before 5 if I want to buy more than one of each. You’re so lucky to study abroad. I bet you don’t even have to wait to buy your rations there. You just walk up with your card and get served. Have you met a cute Hungarian yet? I joke, of course, your parents would kill you if you brought him back home.

Anyway, write to me soon. I have no one else to talk to since Marius and Lucia left last week. They kept talking about going abroad to their relatives in Austria. Not to me, just between themselves. But you know I’m a nosey rosey. Anyway, they had no car, so I thought they were joking. Or at least that it would take longer for them to leave. You know how long it takes for a passport. And that you have to bribe them with something. Dad denies it but I know. I know he gave the butcher some chocolates too, the ones I got for my birthday, just for an extra piece of salami. Anyway, I didn’t think they’d leave so soon and without even saying goodbye. But I saw them Thursday morning rushing to some car. I didn’t know the guy who was driving. Some other friend, I suppose. Dad was talking to comrade Nicolae, that quiet neighbour on the third floor, and I heard him say they were going to get caught at the border. I’m not sure what he meant. Obviously, I’m not stupid, I know you’ve told me the militia surveillance has become very severe, but they’re not felons. Why would they get caught? What for? Anyway, maybe I’ve misheard him. It's happened before. Like when I thought he said to mother Uncle Liviu got questioned and then disappeared for a few days. And then it turned out he had been to the seaside. Mother told me. Though she didn’t want to discuss him anymore. Which is fine, we barely talk anyway. 

Please send me pictures from Budapest. I want to see everything you’ve visited so far! Oh, how I wish I were there with you. Then I'm sure I would forget about Mircea. 

Kisses, Mirunica 

26th of September 1989 

I’m so sorry I forgot to send the postcard with the last letter. I'm going to send it with this one. I don’t have much time because I must leave in a few minutes for a trip to Timisoara, but I couldn’t resist not telling you: I met a boy, his name is Radu and he is so handsome, with dark hair, not like that blond brute, Mircea. I hate him, by the way. So, we met when I went to enrol in university. He was assisting a professor, handing out some tickets to the Freshmen Ball. He is so smart and cunning, Ioana, and likes to read, which is a bit boring, but at least he doesn’t do it when he’s with me. He also plays football and he’s so much better at it than Mircea. That prick looked like he had two left feet. Anyway, I definitely don’t have feelings for him anymore, because Radu is so much better. He is taking me on a trip with his group of friends and we’re going to Timisoara to meet with other students. He’s a little secretive about it like we’re the only ones who are supposed to know about it. But it’s alright, I trust him, and he trusts me. We make such a cute couple, everyone says so. Well, not my parents, because Radu told me not to tell them about us yet. But all his friends say we are cute together. 

I have to go now. But I’m so happy, Ioana! 

I’m sending you many kisses. 

Yours, Mirunica 

12th of December 1989 

My sweet friend, I don’t understand how I have already sent you three letters and you haven’t bothered to write at least one to me. Have I upset you somehow? I’ve sent you the postcard with the red and pink carnations. I've even sprayed some of my mom’s perfume on it. I don’t think she’s noticed. Father kept saying I’ll probably get one for Christmas, but fat chance of that now. He came home yesterday and said comrade foreman Vasiu gave the promotion to someone else. Direct orders from higher-ups. So father got drunk again and finished both bottles of palinka. Of course, mother is mad and hasn’t spoken to him since, because now she has no drinks to serve our relatives when they come over on Christmas Day. I for one couldn’t care less. You know how Uncle Remus always tries to toast me a shot though I've said time and again I don’t like alcohol. It’s really bad for my complexion. 

Anyway, Radu said there’s going to be another trip to Timisoara before Christmas and he’s leaving with his friends, but this time he hasn’t invited me. I don’t understand why. I've kept thinking about it and haven’t been able to sleep. I feel all my friends are deserting me. Today was the first snow of the year and I wanted to invite Radu out and walk around romantically, like they do in the movies. But he said he can’t, he has serious business to prepare for, and that things are happening, and change is coming. He always talks like that. I barely understand him half the time. It's the beginning of December and it’s snowing so obviously things are changing.

Also, I don’t understand why I can’t go with him to Timisoara again. When we went the first time, I was really bored because we barely got to see anything or go anywhere. All Radu and his friends did was meet at some guy’s tiny apartment every day we were there and talk. I don’t even know what about. Politics and people whose names I didn’t recognize. And they were all so serious all the time. I couldn’t tell a joke or convince them to eat the roulade I had made. They were all so preoccupied. I was going crazy. But this time I wanted to go sightseeing with Radu. He used to be so light-hearted and funny when we first met two months ago. Now all he cares about is writing and printing pamphlets and being secretive. He doesn’t tell me where he goes most days or with whom, he barely spends time with me and now he said I can’t go to Timisoara. He has the same friends, so it can’t be them who’ve changed him. In fact, they all act the same way. It really pisses me off. I'm his lover, he should give me more attention. He should call and invite me out to dance and stroll around with me while we talk about us. I am older now and more mature. I know how things should go and what we could do. And I know he doesn’t do them. I thought he would be better because he’s a second-year student. Maybe he doesn’t deserve me. Maybe he should just go to Timisoara and never come back if he likes it better without me. 

I'm so upset I could probably cry. Please, please write to me before Christmas. 

Miruna 

Sometime in 2002 

Finally, I have some time to myself. I’m glad to hear the kids are settling in okay at their new school. I'm dreading the thought of having to take mine tomorrow for their first day at kindergarten. They haven’t learnt the language yet, so it will be difficult for them to make friends. But that’s a risk you take as an immigrant. Apart from everything else that can go wrong. Not that I wanted to leave in the first place, but how could Mihai say no to an opportunity like this? And I can’t play the role of the nagging wife who crushes his dream and keeps him close to the ground. I’ve never learnt my lesson. Remember Radu, the boyfriend I had in my first year of university? I couldn’t tie him down either. I sure know how to pick them. I wonder what became of him. You know we haven’t spoken since I last saw him the day he left for Timisoara back in 1989? How unlucky was he to go right before the riots began, right? I can’t imagine what a nasty trip that must have been. I still remember the noise from the gunshots and the broken glass, all the people shouting like madmen. It's given me nightmares. Father was right to make us leave after the trials and everything. How horrible to die like that and on Christmas too. I would’ve hated it. But it got my mind off Radu and made it easier to get over him. He never called or wrote to me after he got on that train to Timisoara. I should’ve seen the breakup coming from a mile away. We were simply incompatible. Anyway, that’s all in the past now. 

I'll send you my new address via email as soon as I manage to move all the boxes into the new apartment. Things are happening fast, and I feel I can barely keep up. The interior designer is supposed to come on Thursday to discuss the layout for the living room and Mihai is supposed to start work this Monday. So I might have to deal with it alone. 

P.S. I found that old picture of you by the Chain Bridge in Budapest. You're holding a postcard with red and pink carnations. I can’t believe we used to like those tacky things. I'll send it over, for old times’ sake. 

Kisses, Miruna