THE PROLOGUE

Enter chorus

CHORUS

We all know Shakespeare and his famous plays

Like Romeo and Juliet, dead set

Two tragic lovers infamous endways

Don’t yet fret, for this holds a new mindset

Yet here a love of new kinds gets re-told

For she who rejected Romeo first

Intelligent Rosaline, she told him

No way, because she divorced from such thirst

For dear sweet Rosaline was someone who

Knew not that kind of love for she was both

An ace and arrow, yes that’s right, it’s true 

The Rosaline do loath men tis her oath

Her heart never was touched, for no romance

Was held though it made her life a tap dance.

ACT 1

SCENE 1

Enter Romeo

ROMEO

Sweet Rosaline! Your refreshing beauty

entrapped me for it is so much more than

most anything I have known. Please kind lady save

me! Offer your hand I need it for I

Shall die away from my dear Rosaline.

ROSALINE

Sorry, Sir, but I must decline. I-

ROMEO

No. What? Have you been stolen? Rosaline?

Romeo reaches for his sword

ROSALINE

Me, taken? No. Never. I shall live a life

without men, chaste. Never married, not me.

ROMEO

But Rosaline! You must want what all do.

You, a lady, must want a house with kids.

ROSALINE

Isn’t it said ladies are happy with

their place? 

ROMEO

But-

ROSALINE

So sad my vows are frozen and I’m stuck

in a world empty of any romance.

ROMEO

Sometimes a vow must be broken for love.

ROSALINE

Here there is no love, so no need to make

Me or anyone break what they have made. 

ROMEO

How could you mock my love for you?

ROSALINE

You tell me, why shan’t I? You mock my vow.

ROMEO

You pain me! How could my love hate

me! I have been broken! I’ll die a

shattered heart lest you say sorry.

ROSALINE

You shan’t. Now leave for nowhere is where

this talk must eventually end.

ROMEO

You’ll regret when I die of heartache!

Romeo storms off

ROSALINE

If that he says, he is a fool. For I

never regret turning away those like

‘poor’ Romeo. Brilliant me

who manages to live without romance.

At some point I realized that it was

Normal to like boys at least a bit.

Yet no one interested me, not boys, 

girls neither, for none interest me.

SCENE 2

Enter Rosaline’s mother

MOTHER

Pretty luck has struck my Rosaline for she

attending Capulet’s party this night 

will meet her future husband. She will wed.

Enter Rosaline

ROSALINE

I have returned from dusk’s awakening.

MOTHER

Tonight you must attend the Capulet

ball. Wonderful men will romance till wed.

ROSALINE

I dare not wish to wed. For I even dare

reject the hand of Romeo this morrow.

MOTHER

You did reject Romeo! But why?

ROSALINE

I plan to live without a man to death.

MOTHER

You shall, eventually, learn to love.

Rosaline’s mother exits

ROSALINE

I shall never love anyone in such a way!

SCENE 3

CHORUS

While turning men away she wished to say

The place of my husband will forever 

Be no one’s. They say, “Look who he’s become.”

Her mind states “Nice maybe but never.”

She can’t though lest her parents find her out

Still not alone; she keeps many friends

Good and bad but no doubt her perfect route

To life without worry about her suitors lens

Of love. For she isn’t one to act out 

When she has tens of most fantastic friends

Among them lay Juliet and Friar

And Paris and the Nurse join Rosaline.

ACT 2

SCENE 1

Enter Nurse and Paris

NURSE

What luck for you have Juliet to wed!

for I have watched her grow and know she will

be the perfect man’s wife! How sad is it

to give her away! My baby! Since I bore none,

she is like a child to me, so hurt her none

lest you wish to deal with this nurse’s fury.

PARIS

You needn’t worry for Juliet will live 

as queen with Paris the inspiring king.

NURSE

If she was wed to the prince maybe she

just wouldn’t feel distraught for marrying

you makes poor Juliet so sad. At first

I thought the tears were joy but she said no.

Rosaline enters conspicuously

PARIS

My wife is saddened by our wedding! Why?

ROSALINE

Another why, why does Paris, Count

pretend to care for beauties love when he

only cares for what her body does. Be it

befriend or wrinkle, he just wants control.

PARIS

Who said to speak in such a way? I’m Count

ROSALINE

I know who I insult. You are who forced

My dear friend Juliet’s hand to a ring.

PARIS

You know that if you were a man I would

be killing. Best be grateful that you are

a woman. Now go on and tell me why

she hates me. I will fix her first view of me!

ROSALINE

What if, just maybe failure is what you face

For she shan’t ever think well enough to wed.

NURSE

I disagree! For like when Juliet 

was young, she’s quick to change her little mind.

Little Juliet was cute beyond belief!

ROSALINE

But Juliet should choose who she will wed!

He didn’t ask her whether she wanted 

to wed, but still expects her happiness!

PARIS

I dared to think she liked me hence so vile

in thine and Juliet's eyes I become. 

ROSALINE

“Poor” Paris! He hath become villain, but

he really is acting quite too evil

for someone to expect true love’s kiss.

PARIS

She dares to mock what’s true because no one

wants loud girls like her lest their ears mean nothing

to them, but rarely a man like that is found.

ROSALINE

Little care I give to what any man contains

in mind or otherwise. Weddings, not for me.

NURSE

This I agree with! No way for me or you

to wed, we dare not, the world is too big

to tie us down, but just maybe, for me

it could be I only pretend that I can’t

do love how everyone except me and-

ROSALINE

Our matter of love is not discussed, Paris.

Rosaline leads the Nurse away

PARIS

Fools not to know how very improper girl

unwed be. World never care if Juliet 

is happy in wed, but they do care if I

go see her before time is right for then

the rumors will start saying neither us

are single though a change might still accrue.

SCENE 2

Enter Rosaline and the Nurse

NURSE

You dragged us away without good reason. Why?

ROSALINE

For one to know of lack of love is none

but Paris, telling all is telling him!

NURSE

You think that poor of Paris, Rosaline?

ROSALINE

He never gave me a reason not to think

of him as pitiful, but what of you?

NURSE

A diligent man with much stature plus

a heart just worthy as my Juliet.

ROSALINE

Just why?

Enter a distressed man

WITNESS

What have I seen!? Sweet Benvolio’s death!

after Romeo took revenge on Tybalt

the prince was forced to banish the killer!

The distressed man (Witness) leaves

ROSALINE

Good thing I’m smart and left his hand to him.

NURSE

I didn’t know that Romeo proposed.

ROSALINE

He, yesterday, did ask me to be wife.

NURSE

A miracle you dare to deny for you

dear Rosaline are fierce enough, even at

the age of child to go against, defy.

ROSALINE

Few call my strange denials something fine.

NURSE

Those that say that ‘ve yet to see things like

you do. Oh, but someday they’ll understand.

ROSALINE

I must believe your words my dear friend Nurse.

The two leave together

SCENE 3

Enter Chorus

CHORUS

The first of Romeo and Juliet

a Shakespeare play never ends here not with two

pretty lovers alive. We hate the newly dead

like Juliet, so instead to glue you to

sweet Rosaline from start to end we stop

before another death. To highlight arrow

and ace you don’t see but what we crop

for eyes of yours. You may remain so blind

unless original old Shakespeare says

much more than nothing to you. But if what

you wish is one good recap, pop quiz!

young lovers marry and die together oh, but

they take poor Paris, Benvolio, more

to graves with them while Rosaline sees gore.