a thousand wishes

“Penny?”

I open my eyes slowly against the agonizing pain at the sound of my nickname.

Only two people have permission to call me that. But there's absolutely no way it's her...right?

Her dark brown eyes stare back at me. Her shy smile makes something inside me fizz with joy. The last time I saw her was in the last year of high school—I can’t believe she’s here, after all this time. And she’s seeing me like this?

“J-Josie?” I croak, attempting to stand up. Everything is blurry, and I have a headache, but someone’s face comes into view.

I fall back onto the ground, and Josie steps closer.

“No, what—” her eyes flicker with confusion, and I shake my head. 

Josie’s chocolate eyes fade into a light hazel-green color. Her short hair isn’t anything like my ex-best friend’s blond curls. 

“Oh, Via,” I whispered, rubbing my eyes. “It’s you.”

“Peyton, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” I breathe, clutching my stomach and scooting to the side, so Via can sit down next to me. My vision adjusts, and the dark, empty venue flickers into my sight.

“You’re out late,” she remarks.

“I was talking to Harper. After the show.”

“Again?”

“I was—” I frowned, stopping for a moment, blinking again. “What?”

Via sighs. “Peyton, it’s two in the morning. I had to leave Immy asleep in the house.”

“Shit,” I murmur, squeezing my eyes shut, thinking of Immy crying out for Via. “Ugh, god, what am I doing?”

“You have a performance tomorrow.”

“I’m not going.”

“Tell Travers that,” Via laughs bitterly.

I groaned, thinking of my manager, Veronica Travers. She’s the devil, I’m sure of it. She doesn’t care about anything but money. And she hates Via. She keeps that hatred burning very brightly when I come into work from a sick day.

“Do you wanna go to a bar or something—” I start, my mind cloudy, the need for more drinks fizzing inside me.

“Peyton,” Via cuts me off seriously. “Stop.”

“What? Do you see any drinks left here?”

“Peyton, stop.”

I suddenly snap back to attention, feeling nauseous.

“You did this last time,” she whispered.

“There was a last time?”

“Yeah. You asked me the same things—”

“Sorry,” I murmured.

“Peyton, I need you to stop, though—”

“I–I-just can’t stop it. I’m sorry,” I gasp. “I’m a shitty girlfriend, I know. I just—”

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Breathe, Peyton, just breathe. You don’t have to be sorry for anything. I’ve got you,” Via says, hugging me tight.

I hug my knees to my chest, wishing desperately that me and Via were at home, in oversized clothes, with little Immy, my sweet, innocent eight-year-old cousin.

I feel sick, and I long for Harper. Just that thought makes me taste bile.

I wish I wasn’t like this.

“Are you gonna cheat on me, Peyton?” Via asks. 

Her intuition was always splendid.

“I’m tired of answering that question,” I sighed.

“I’m serious. You and Harper—”

“There’s nothing between us,” I forced out, closing my eyes again. “But you need to get home to Immy. We can talk later.”

“No, you have to go to the hospital. You’re very clearly drunk.”

“Leave me here. Go home to Immy—I’ll be fine,” I murmured.

“I have weighed the option of leaving you here, Peyton. I would rather go home to Immy, but you’re also very important. There are pros and cons to both.”

I laughed, then winced. “Do you really have to be so honest, Via?”

She smiled, before getting up and holding out her hand to me. “How come you didn’t call me?”

“I don’t have my phone.”

“Where is it?”

“With Harper,” I replied, guilt sinking in my stomach.

Via didn’t look too happy, but she pulled me up anyway, making me lean on her so I could at least stumble by myself. I leaned my head on her shoulder as we walked to her car.

“I love you,” I murmured softly.

“Tell me that when you’re sober,” she says quietly, dumping me into the passenger’s seat.

That moment is when I black out.

Three weeks later

“When’s Mom coming back?” Immy asks, pushing her pasta around on her plate.

I exchanged a look with Via. We both know the real answer to that.

But Immy’s eight, and she can’t handle it.

“She’s coming soon, okay?” Via soothes. “But you have to stay here until then.”

“I hate it here,” Immy whispers, pushing her chair back from the table.

“Imogene—” I start, reaching out to her hand, but she pulls away.

“I’m going to my room,” she murmurs, eyes glistening. “I’m going to call Dad.”

“Peyton–” Via starts warningly, a concerned expression on her face as she looks after Immy.

“Just stop, Octavia. Please,” I said, my voice strained.

Via bites her lip and stares down at her plate.

“I’ll be back,” I say, grabbing my jacket and phone.

Via stares at me in silence. “Preferably before midnight, okay?”

I don’t respond. I know exactly where I’m going. And this time, I won’t get distracted.

It’s a mile from here, but worth the walk. Driving ruins the location. I try to go at the time that we used to, on Friday nights at eight. But tonight, I just need it. 

Not to try and find Josie, but to try and find myself.

Devil’s Peak is the spot me and Josie used to come to in eleventh grade. We loved seeing the stars. Counting them. Wishing upon them. There are at least a thousand stars in the sky that I can see from here. Room for a thousand wishes.

I have way more than a thousand.

Suddenly, my phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out. There’s a text from Harper that I dread answering.

Harper: You free tonight? I found a nice and free venue for us to maybe try out xoxo

Peyton: Sorry I’m busy tonight. Have fun tho if u still go

Harper: tyy i’ll find someone else. Wyd tho?

Peyton: um im in the studio late recording. veronica got rlly mad bc i was in the hospital from three weeks ago.

Harper: alr can’t wait to hear ur new songs!! Love uuuu

Peyton: goodnight

I stare up at the stars, turning off my phone, trying to take my mind off Harper. I hate lying, even to her. 

 There’s a bright one.

The brighter the star, the more the wish will come true.

That’s what Josie always told me.

I wish that she would come back.

I spot another one, and close my eyes again.

I wish that Harper would just take the hint and leave me alone. Or even better, I wish I didn’t want her so badly. I wish I wasn’t such a bitch and could pull away myself.

“Peyton?”

I open my eyes. I know who it is. I don’t want to look at her.

Via quietly sits down next to me. “It’s pointless to count stars.”

“It’s also pointless to count freckles, but I happen to know that you have twenty-four on the edge of your right hand,” I murmur, staring up at the night sky.

Via smiles at me and grabs my hand. “You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Make a wish,” she whispers.

I sit in silence for a second, then whisper, “It’s already come true, Via.”

“Huh?”

I smile, pull her close, and look deep into her eyes. “Kiss me,” I whisper.

She obeys, and I silently give the stars—and Josie—a thank you.