Even if you can't see me.

 “Look at those flowers, spring is finally here!” Melissa laughed as I felt my eyes water, she knew I couldn’t see anything. I can hear Melissa giggling with her best friend, Macy. I started to feel around me to get up, I still wasn’t used to not seeing anything. It was one year ago when the car crash happened, one year ago I became the way I am. I feel as Mrs. Blaker comes to help me stand up as I tell her I need to use the restroom.

  When walking there, it feels like every day this happens, I get made fun of then I run away. I wish I would have the confidence to stand up to her, but what can I do, I’m blind. After using the restroom Mrs.Blaker leads me back outside and on the bench, I sit on for 90% of the time. A year ago, I would sit on this bench while observing my surroundings and talking to the friends that now just faded away in my memories. I hear everyone around me get up, it must be time to go. 

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 Mom leads me to the bench by the duck pond describing how they look and act to me. Mom has been trying her best to make me at least imagine what the world looks like but sometimes she forgets that I haven’t been blind for long, I’ve seen this place before. I’m glad that she cares so much but sometimes I want to be treated like a normal human being. I know she wants to go talk to the other parents and not be right here so I tell her to go on. She leaves quickly saying she’ll be back. 

 I hear a girl singing a tune, sounds like something I’ve heard in music class. I try to hear where the sound is coming from till it comes right next to me. 

“Hello! I love your hair,” I hear someone next to me. I slowly say thank you confused about how my ratty blonde hair could be somewhat attractive. 

“Hmm, don’t you love the ducks, they are so beautiful.” She hums. 

“I can’t quite see them..” I mumble under my breath.  I remember the times where I was able to see the marvelous features of the duck. I wonder what this girl looks like as she sits there. 

“Really? Hm well, I think that imagining is better than seeing anything.” I freeze. For the first time, someone doesn’t just apologize and leave or pity me. She just kept talking like you would with a friend. 

“ I’m Desi, what's your name or whatever you go by?”

“I...  I go by Elliana..” 

“Such a pretty name, may I call you Elly??” 

“Please do,” I giggle but not how Melissa, never like Melissa. 

The minutes pass by as we talk and laugh and even snort. I wonder if those old friends saw me, what would they think? Would they think of me as a normal person, or still leave me behind as someone who isn’t normal. Would I see myself as normal if I was a stranger watching someone else who was blind do what I am doing? I wish I could say yes. 

 I hear my mom call out my name as footsteps come closer. I can feel that Desi stood up. 

“I’ll make sure to see you again, Elly!” She quickly hums off. I’ll make sure to see her again. 

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 It’s been two months and 15 days since the meeting with Desi. I see her every Sunday and sometimes Saturday, life has gotten so much better. She makes me feel like I’m normal and doesn’t constantly make me feel as if I’m so much different. It surprises me that someone can be so kind to treat someone who is different and weird like a normal person. My blindness makes everything so difficult but I feel as if when I’m talking with her, I feel like I can see the entire world.

  My mindset of being blind hasn’t changed much though. I wish I could say that I would be as kind as her. I wish that a year ago when I could see, I would strive to be as kind as her. She has changed my life in only 2 months. If she ever left me, I would look for her forever and never forget what she has done for me. 

  I arrive at the bench which Desi and I named Jessie, like the TV show.

“Hey,” I hear a mumble behind me. What's with the tone?

“Hey, what's wrong?” I ask concernedly while trying to find out where she is. 

“Gotta tell you something..” Her voice wavers. 

“Go on.” 

“Well, my family came here because of my aunt's illness but she’s got better, as you know..” She carefully states. I nod while slowly listening to her. 

“The main point is… That we have to leave..” I hear those words go in my brain so many times as my whole world slowly crumbles. The person who has changed my life so much is... Leaving me. I only got 2 months with her, only two months. I freeze up while my brain moves at 100 mph. She hugs me from behind as I hear her say something that will always be with me.

  “I loved being your friend, even if you can’t see me.” She lets go, “Look for me when we get older!” I hear her sniffle as she walks away. My lip quivers as I feel like crying. I promise I will find you, I will find you. 

“Don’t leave me!” I cry out while trying to stand up. I fall on the ground overcome with emotions. I can feel someone try to help me up but I can only think about Desi. She’s leaving me, she’s leaving me, NO! I swing my arms trying to push myself up, someone is holding me back. 

  I try and try to push them away, I have to get to Desi. I feel my mind slowly fade away, I’m about to faint. But I need her... I will find her. 

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 I wake up in cold sweat, another nightmare. That day haunts me, the day where Desi left me. I look for her most of the time, hoping we can pass by each other. I imagine the day where we meet again, she can describe how she looks nowadays since I never got to see how she looked back then. What color hair does she have, is it curly or straight?

  Does she like wearing shorts or skirts? I smile, imagining how she looks. I imagine she is beautiful and has amazing style. I sigh as I hear my mom come in helping me get up. I remind her that I have to get to the doctors today, 

  She drives me there as I stare out the window as we pull into the parking lot. I recently changed doctors so I check.. Maybe she’s here. We seem to arrive at the front desk as I hear my mom talk to the worker. 

“Excuse me, but Is there a Desi Myers here or has she ever came where?” I ask the front desk worker. 

“Oh, do you mean Desiana Myers?” I nod slowly. “Room 305. You can go there after your appointment.” I smile.

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  My mom walks me up the stairs to Desi’s room. I hear the door open as we walk in. 

“Huh.. who is that?” I hear her raspy voice and my eyes slightly water. 

“Hey..” I smile while I feel like crying. I hear a gasp followed by a sniffle, I think she's surprised, I giggle while thinking about her being surprised. 

“I can’t believe it's you... You found me. “ I hear her softly cry. I can hear her get up and walk towards me. Her arms wrap around me as we both cry out. I missed her. I tell her how she changed my life, how I’m not ashamed of being blind anymore, and all about what has happened. 

  She tells me how she has been, how her family has been doing. I found out about how she never forgot me and she was also looking for me. I ask how she looks now that she is grown up, apparently, she has blue eyes and brunette hair. We were there for hours, talking and crying together. 

  I tell her that I’ll visit her every day and that I’ll talk to her for hours. Before I leave sh essays one thing that is the best anyone would say to me, 

“You're the best person ever, even if you can’t see.”