You Can't Kill Those Suckers

February 20, 2023

Suzanne Clement

325 Lakeview Ct

Runaway Bay, TX 76426

817(944-8354)

qsuzyq@live.com

Word Count: 1180

Writing prompt #335: Write a story entirely of dialogue.

You Can’t Kill Those Suckers

By

Suzanne Clement

“I don’t care what they say, you can’t kill those suckers.”

“What?”

“I’ve had many years of experience with the little boogers. They just keep coming back year after year after year. It’s like the gift that keeps on givin’.”

“Year after year. Being kind of dramatic, aren’t you? No? Personally, I can’t say that I’ve tried to kill those little suckers on purpose.”

“The only reason I came out to watch today is because I enjoy being with the group. Have much experience? How would you handle them? They can really get away from you if left unchecked.”

“I have some experience. I kinda use the low maintenance approach with ‘em: I put ‘em out and let ‘em do their thing. Just let nature take her course other than water, I do water them, oh,and feed ‘em occasionally. Really for the most part they are self-reliant, resilient. And besides, they make a pretty show.”

“Okay, I admit they’re pretty. I do love watching the little darlings when they are at their best. But that’s not what I’m saying at all. Look at them up there… being all careful like they are handing something as delicate as a porcelain China cup at a high tea party. And here we stand watching them. No, I’m just saying you could just take a knife or a good pair of scissors to the bundle and they would break right up. See how tender they are when separated but when they huddle up in a mass, they can be hard to break up.”

“You know, come to think of it I have killed lots of ‘em and not meant too. I really don’t kill ‘em on purpose. I do divide ‘em and move ‘em around but I don’t kill ‘em; no, not on purpose. Hey Linda! You had any luck with these suckers? Mary Ann says you can’t kill ‘em.”

“Oh, Mary Ann. You been trying to kill these beauties? Why? They are so pretty! I just love the way they can tough out a hard time, all seasons, year after year. They can really take a beating. Just look at them. Beautiful, just beautiful!”

“I think I want to get a closer look.”

“Linda, you have such a sweet soul. You see the beauty in everything. I just love you. Dana! Where are you goin’?”

“I want to get a closer look. They are up there just pulling and chopping away at those suckers. Pulling. Chopping. Just look. Fascinating! I can’t stand it; I want a part of that. I’m going in.”

“Beautiful, just beautiful. You know when I get mine I bundle them up and take them home. I get them out and get them a fresh drink of water. Pamper them a little. Welcome them to their new home. Put them in their specially prepared bed. And they are just beautiful!”

“Dana. DANA! Wait! Don’t get too close. Looks like with every chop that they fling that filth. You don’t want that to get on you. It’s hard to wash out.”

“I know. I know. But, dang! I wish I’d brought my gloves so I could just put my hands right down in that magnificent mass of moist muck! I’m going up there! I’m going up there.”

“They are just so delicate. Oh, and look at the colors! They are just so pretty!”

“Okay Dana. Be careful. Don’t cut yourself or cut off your own toe in your excitement to get at ‘em. Kit, are you takin’ any home, I mean if they survive the separation and choppin’? Oh crap! They gave Dana the knife and she’s havin’ a go at them now. Did ya’ll let her have coffee before we got here? Look at her enthusiasm! She sure does just jump right on in there, doesn’t she? Oh! I hope they can get that stain out. Look at her go!”

“I think the smart thing to do is get them home and get a good soak on them. The water can soak up through any cuts and wounds. Then by tomorrow we should be able to put them to bed. Shouldn’t be any trouble.  I’m sure they’ll be fine. Xyan, Dana is trying to get your attention. Look! She went and got the muck all over her. It’s even on her face. Oh, I don't think she’ll be able to get that stain out.”

“What? You want the shovel? Dana, turn around so I can hear you better.”

“S…H…O…V…E…L. I said did you bring the shovel. I think it will be easier if we cut the heads off first. Pretty sure my pants are ruined. This stain is not coming out.”

“I told you it was messy up there. Yeah, I got a shovel. I have the regular one and I still have the sharpshooter in the car from the other day. Which one do you want? The tarp’s in the back too so we don’t get the back of the car all dirty. You think you’ll need the ‘duck’ tape?”

“Have you seen such magnificent structure? How they just reach out and catch your attention. I just love them! Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!”

“I just need the regular shovel. The blade should make a nice clean cut to remove the heads.”

“Okay. Give me sec. I’ll be right back. Mary Ann, we can bag some for you to take home if you want. I’ll grab the bags from the car. Looks like there will be plenty to go around. Did Dana say whether she needed the ‘duck’ tape?”

“No, I don’t need the ‘duck’ tape. While you’re at it though bring the trash bags so we can start bagging.”

“Oh, I just hate to the waste the heads. They look so pretty when you put them in jars. I love that simple rustic feel. You can really decorate up the house with them. We could probably even use them as centerpieces for our luncheon next week. Xyan, do you have any jars with you?”

“Bags and shovels I brought. Linda, I’m pretty sure I did not bring any jars. I’ll double check though. What do you think Mary Ann? Want to take some home?”

“You know on second thought; I would like to take some home. I have an extra bed to put stuff in.”

“Okay. Dana, here is the shovel and here are the bags. Sorry Linda, no jars. I’ll put some heads in a bag for you. They should keep well enough in the bag till you get them home and get them in water. What an interesting day! But what a mess!”

“I’m glad I came out to watch today.”

“I’m glad you came out too Mary Ann. And I’m glad they let some of our group go up and help even if Dana did get dirty. I suppose she’ll wash.”

“Yep.”

“Dividing daylilies is one of my favorite activities of the year.”

“I don’t care what they say, you can’t kill those suckers.”