Joe
When I joined Facebook I went directly to Joe Mailloux. There’s quite a few. There is even one in Michigan I think. Somewhere around the thumb area. He was an easy find. All I wanted to see If I was remembered, and why. I was….And I am.
Wow.
Just wow.
I messaged him a simple Hello…
Do I know you?
P.S. I still don’t like this.
Why can’t people just be normal? No boasting. No, bragging. No, big-shot.
Because that, won’t happen. This is Facebook, or whatever search engine.
Jason.
Anyway, I learned his mom died last year.
R.I.P.
Bonnie.
Aummm…
It was uncomfortable of course. 33-ish years ago. She doesn’t remember a lot. She thought that if she went back thirty-three years later, that it may spark something with her memory. Or not, memory. Very little she remembers. She remembers meeting him at the video store and playing quarters at some kids house. (December)
Next…
She remembers getting an apartment together.
(That was the apartment where my mom last lived at)
That was probably around February-ish. Maybe March. I remember nothing else from that time. No-thing. About six months. Gone...
He wanted a pic.
Typical.
Nope.
Maybe she is doing this to gain closure. She could be doing this to find out who she was, what she did, and why, she became who she became. And if the things that she thinks happened, really happened. Or not. I think he is religious. He kept using the prayer, icon. Definitely the wrestler type physic and mentality, kind of person. From the outside. No idea, of the inside. I never had a good thought, nor a bad thought.
I was a tad bit confused. Another world away…
Do I wish to open a can of worms?
It is nice to be asked questions. Shown interest by someone that remembers me.
He thinks of me often. He wonders, too. He used the word our, when he mentioned the accident. Lol.
Our…
Whatever.
The more we messaged, the more I realized he is somewhat into himself. Please don’t be a freak. Be a, normal human being.
He says he would like to meet someone his age but that is hard to find, so he dates girls in their 20’s and 30’s. Lol. Sure, it’s hard to find someone when you are in your fifties. And have no wrinkles. With the body of let’s say a twenty, or thirty-year-old.
Maybe around TWNT5.
LMAO
Babies.
So…
Dumb.
He says if the accident never happened we would probably still be together. ??? What???
Lol.
And then I thumbed my final words.
I’m proud of myself. That was hard. But I did it. Lol. Wow. I didn’t know what to expect. I did learn about him though. I saw a few pics, and then he says some more stuff about his stuff.
What is wrong with me??
What am I looking for???
What…
Is…
It?
What she didn’t say to him was that she wants to say thank you to Hope…
You called me when I was in California to say that you were sorry for what had happened. After the way I was. And the looks I gave. Why?? Thank you Hope.
Joe Mailloux, I can still hear you
“Amy."
"You’re…different.”
What?
What’s, different?
What changed???
Everything about her changed. That's what.
Her, personality. Her, arms. Her face.
Her, legs.
Her…
MIND.
Her shoulders.
She can see it now. A little late.
But she can see it none-the-nonetheless.
Btw...
There in the corner sits a box that I told Craig I would go through for him. It’s a box of old pictures. Old-old pictures. I had to go through and separate. There was a lot of miscellaneous that I don’t know who, nor where. When my desk trash begins to overflow, I put it up. But..
There were a lot of snapshots of her dad. He was so handsome. I’m guessing…
1965. They were married on the fifteenth of January. Aaron came along that spring.
I know Aaron would want those.
There were a few of me when I was in the hospital. I look so young. Even with a tube up my nose. Lol. That tube. I didn’t feel it go in. But when the doctor pulled it out I felt it. I remember. I just don’t have the words to explain it.
There were two, with Joe. (It proves that he was there) I used to think he was such a good-looking kid. He was actually an ugly little boy. Fuck no. I don’t want to go back.
Last night she was going through pictures again. She was finishing the project she was working on for Craig. The pictures and stuff that Amy told him that she brought home from her mother’s. He wants to see the ones from his side of the family. His mother is Amy’s blood grandmother’s sister. It was quite interesting. Seeing a long-ago time. Some of them are black and white. And a few so old it’s like they are from back in the 1800’s with cardboard backing. There were pictures from all over.
Completely disorganized btw.
This is the funny part...
Lol.
She started to take pics of her pics on her phone. She wanted to send them off and get it over with. Aaron will be happy to get them. And she hasn’t heard from Craig. She tried calling, but to no avail. Anyway. Among some of these pictures, were pictures of Amy while she was in the hospital. She looked like a baby. She, was a baby.
Nineteen.
Joe was in them too. I think he was 19 or 20, almost twelve.
She was doing this until Jason got up for work. She had pictures everywhere. On her desk sat a few of her hospital days. I wonder if these pictures would have been any proof, to the people on the outside.
Huh.
Joe…
Jason saw those.
Well Amy, showed them to him. She doesn’t really know why. Maybe to share a part of her he has never seen. She wanted him to see something other than what he sees. What did he see? A reason to shove his shit onto me. (Hey-hey.) He was greener than green. Gross. Thirty something years ago. He really has no idea. I want to turn the music on.
As above…
As I was leafing through a book, in between two pages there was a ripped piece of paper with a phone number.
And the name Joe.
I found it.
Not that I was looking for it. I just want to send him a few pics.
Pics that I want to forget.
Done and forgotten.
On to today….
PS.
I have absolutely no, respect for Bonnie. She was right there with him. She was a shit, too. And Joe.
You…
Are…
A…
Fuck.
Phew.
It’s done.
I did a step that I thought would never be done. This one is to you…Joe Mailloux.
HEY, HEY.
I am finally over it.
And you.
Peace-out.
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