Silence.

It all happened in slow motion and was over in a half a breath.

Sayna was animatedly telling her mom about her day at Skyline High school as they drove home. She couldn’t wait until they got there to tell her about the tryouts. She was three weeks from graduation and had been accepted at four of the five different colleges she had applied to, but she had chosen USC. Probably. She had been accepted into Gallaudet, but she wanted to be an actor and USC had graduated more alumni who have gone on to win Academy and Emmy awards than any other institution and she didn’t hesitate to tell anyone who she met about that fact and her dream to be one of them. She just had to try. If Marlee Matlin could do it, she could do it. She was up for valedictorian of her Senior class, and she was both freaked out and super excited. She had tried out today to be the commencement speaker with five other students and she was praying that she had a shot although the other students included the Student Body President and the head cheerleader. Her mom, Fatima, was watching the road while watching Sayna with a glow of pride. Sayna was mid-share when the truck was just there framing her mother’s head with its wide, shiny grill. Out of nowhere. It was red and it was huge, and it had just run a stop sign and was coming up behind her mom’s window so quickly she didn’t even have time to warn her except the enlarging of her eyes.

There was no sound for Sayna. Sayna’s hands were in the air mid-story, and she covered her face as shattered glass hurdled through the air toward her face. She could feel it embedded like sand in the palms of her hands, in her hair and the skin on her face. Her mom was thrown toward her with her head curling toward the impact. The seatbelt held her in midair from crossing over the center console of the car. Sayna, who was nearly sideways in her seat was thrown back against the passenger door with the handle digging into her back and her head hitting and shattering the window behind her. The car came to rest on the well-kept grass of the nearest home. The truck had twisted with the impact, was still in the street but was facing the direction opposite their car and the engine was smoking. She closed her eyes against the instantaneous pain that was radiating into her skull from the back of her head.

Her mom slumped unnaturally toward the driver’s side door. The bone of her forearm was bent awkwardly and had broken the skin and blood was oozing out and down her arm. It looked to Sayna like she was still breathing but only just. Her skin was whitening with every breath.  

People were beginning to surround the car. None of them were close enough for her to read their lips. She closed her eyes again for what felt like a brief moment to her but when she opened them again, the lights of the ambulances that had surrounded their car were making her nauseated as they swirled around in and outside the car. She hadn’t heard them coming. A fire truck had pulled up on the other side of the street and men were pouring out of all of the vehicles like one of those old-fashioned movies she had seen on YouTube – it was if there was no end to them. They were gathering like flies to honey huddled around the car deciding the best way to enter. She just wished they would hurry up and help her mom instead of standing around talking about it. She was lifting her hands to get their attention and they were studded with a thousand tiny cuts from the glass that, in some places, was still imbedded in her skin.  

She didn’t realize they were gathering behind her too. When she turned to look at them, a man was standing on the other side of the shattered window. He looked expectantly at her as she had caught him after a question. He was an EMT, and his partner stood just behind his right shoulder. He said something again, but his mouth was obstructed by the shattered glass. His partner grabbed him by the arm. She read her lips because she was facing Sayna, “she cannot hear you, Brian.” She looked directly at Sayna and mouthed, “can you hear me?”

She shook her head. She pointed frantically to her mom and signed “please help her.” She looked around her for her phone. Gratefully, it was still in her pocket. She pulled up her note app. Her hands were on fire, but she gingerly held the phone and typed. “Please help my mom!” and held it up to the windshield so the female EMT could read it.  

The EMT nodded her head. “Yes.” She said looking directly at Sayna. “They” she pointed to the firemen on the other side of the car “will help her. We” she pointed from herself to her partner “will help you.” And she pointed at Sayna who could tell she was trying to look directly at her so she could read her lips.

She didn’t want to hurt her mom, but she reached out to touch the arm closest to her. Her mom had not yet opened her eyes since they had been it. Her arm was still warm to the touch and that helped her. But it didn’t feel like there was much time before…. The firemen had carefully tried to pull the driver side door open, but it had not given way to them. They were going to have to cut her out. Sayna wanted to stay with her. But the door behind her opened. She turned and the female EMT was reaching out to her. She showed her a neck brace and motioned to Sayna if it was okay that she put it on her. Sayna nodded. The lights were still threatening to make her sick. The EMT lifted her hair and slipped the brace around her neck and silently attached the Velcro to sinch it tighter. She could no longer turn her head to look at her mom and she was beginning to panic. Her breath was shallow and coming faster now. This was her fault. If she hadn’t been signing to her mom while she was driving, she would have been paying more attention to the road. What if her mom was not okay? Tears were swelling in her eyes and running down her face. The female EMT took her hand. She gripped it with a fierce intensity. She didn’t know how to live in a world without her mom in it.

The female EMT touched underneath Sayna’s chin to get her attention. She looked her right in the eye. “Are you hurt?” she mouthed. Sayna took an inventory. She felt like she had been tossed around like sack of laundry, but she couldn’t feel anything that felt broken. She shook her head. The EMT nodded and took Sayna’s phone from her. She typed in: “We’ve got to get you in the ambulance.” The EMT Brian had pulled the stretcher up next to the car on the passenger side. “Can you step out of the car and sit on the stretcher?” She typed. Sayna nodded. She tried to turn and look toward her mom’s side of the car.

The EMT looked up to the firemen on the other side of the car. They had peeled the door from the car and were sliding the neck brace on Fatima and prepping to slide her on a back board as they pulled her from the car. The EMT looked at Sayna and took both her hands to steady her as she stepped out onto the pavement, and she turned to sit on the waiting stretcher and Brian helped her lay flat. He pushed the stretcher toward the waiting ambulance. As he prepared to pull her head-first into her ambulance, she caught a glimpse of her mother laying flat on her stretcher. Brian lifted his end, so she had a better look at her mom. Fatima’s eyes came open as they moved her nearer her ambulance on the other side of the lawn. She tried to sit up, but they had a tight hold on her as they pulled her up into the ambulance. She was desperately looking for her daughter. For just a brief second, Sayna caught Fatima’s eye. Sayna would have believed she imagined it, but her mom raised her uninjured hand toward Sayna, curling in the second and third finger on her right hand leaving her thumb, index and pinky fingers raised toward Sayna. I love you. Sayna raised her hand in the air and returned the sign to her mom. She closed her eyes as they pulled her into the ambulance. She would always be okay as long as her mom was there to break her silence.