An Ephemeral Journey

An Ephemeral Journey

By Henry Cembrola

After a long and arduous heartbreaking six year struggle of trying to see my two daughters for my visitation rights, to protect them from evil, something amazing happened. In 2003 after immensely heavy emotional pain I laid down crying to God asking, “Why is this happening to me?” “Why is this happening to my children?” I yelled to God at the top of my voice, “I can’t take this anymore.”

I cried so hard I thought my heart was going to burst right there on the living room floor. My heart was, literally, in physical pain. I cried not just for me, but for the innocent hearts getting ripped apart by evil words spoken and actions taken by their mother in the presence of her own children . . . my dear daughters. All these egotistical actions taken in the name of getting even, not caring who gets hurt is an abomination coming not from love, but from ego. How a mother can do this to her own children, I asked myself.

Not only were their innocent hearts being hurt and torn apart, but their minds, too, were being molded with hatred and anger instead of Love and affection; their sweet personalities warped by lies, anger and vitriol. I was carrying their pain not knowing it at the time. I had to let go and let God.

            Suddenly I felt something shift around me, a presence, a Love. Peace surrounded me. That was the day, the moment I, “threw the oars into the river of life” deciding to flow with life instead of against life, to let God guide me. I realized there was nothing more I could do to save my children from evil and I had to let go again or the pain would kill me. All I could do is pray.  

            It is said that God works in mysterious ways. It is also said that all prayers are answered. It wasn’t two days later after crying to God and returning home from work that I spot a little book leaning in my doorway that a friend loaned me. I picked it up and began to read that little life-saving book. In the forward of the book it says, (and I’m paraphrasing),

          “Are you sure you want to travel this road, this journey, for if you do your life will change forever. You will see things in a new light while others remain blind. Family and friends will not understand you. You will seem apathetic when instead you are at peace. You will think and talk differently, which they will not understand. You will gain new friends as your energy shifts and, you will lose many friends and family members too from that needed energy shift; but you will gain so much more . . . an understanding”.

My dear reader, I wish I could remember the name of that book because that was the day when everything started to change. I just knew I had to read it. I needed to change my life and I needed help. I read that book through in one day and read it again and again for the next week. I am so grateful for that little book that started me on an unbelievable journey that changed my thinking, my beliefs, my energy, and saved my life.

It just so happened (synchronicity) that the city library was less than a block away, which helped me immensely on my new journey of enlightenment, Love, forgiveness and letting go. I visited that library every week for the next two years.

Now, some twenty one years later, my bookcases are full of esoteric and non-fiction books; my heart full of Light, gratitude, and forgiveness; my friends list is few but lifelong; and I now have a sagacious understanding of life and our individual paths toward enlightenment. My journey has made me a wiser and better person; and I am forever grateful.

Some of the authors that I have read have had journeys similar to mine; some worse, some not. Authors such as Edgar Cayce, Allan Kardec, Elisabeth Haich, Norman Paulsen and Paramahansa Yogananda to name a few have changed my life immensely. These spiritual books, the thousand books read on metaphysics, have changed my life and the lives of others that I come in contact with, because now I help them, if needed, to understand their journey . . . and that I am grateful for.  

In these metaphysics books are lessons of ego, enlightenment, consciousness, synchronicities, meditation, spirituality, virtue, energy, Love, Light, God, Jesus, Archangels, religion, who we are as beings, where we come from and where we go after death, and so much more. The books teach that there is no death, that our souls are perfect intelligent beings of Light and Love that always were and always will be; that we are energy beings and energy can never be destroyed; but we cannot fathom these thoughts with our finite brains.

We are infinite beings on a journey to learn, to Love, to remember. The books teach why we are here and how we must experience pain and love in order to grow, to become closer to God and that we choose our journey on earth, our experiences, our lessons, our parents, our brothers and sisters, even our pets before we come into the body . . . everything is perfect. Everything is divine.

Everything is perfect because of intelligence: God. Everything is perfect because of whom we are: Love and Light . . . we are energy. Our thoughts are energy, our words are energy; and as mentioned, energy can never be destroyed. What we think and say shapes our being, the people we attract and the world around us. We must guard our thoughts and words with Love and treat others how we want to be treated. It is such a better way to live knowing that we have a higher conscious, a higher-self, and a loving God that wants what is best for us than allowing the ego to dictate our lives completely. In order to balance the higher-self and the ego, mediation is the key that opens the door to a peaceful world within.

I’ve learned that Meditation is a must while we are here on earth. Meditation needs to be taught in our schools and churches. It is said that if we all meditate there would be no wars.  Meditation quiets the ego with practice; meditation hushes the chatter-mind so that we may experience the silence and Love of God. I am grateful to have learned and to still practice meditation. It truly is a life-changer.  

I am grateful for this metaphysical journey that began in 1997. Truth be known the journey most likely began well before that fateful day for everything, I’m sure, led up to this pivotal point. I left my wife of 12-years after many years of mental, emotional and physical abuse. Yes, I am a male; a father, a husband abused by a marijuana and meth addict. Not just me of course, my children were mistreated also. I tried to help her out of her addiction putting up with abuses for over 2-years, but to no avail. I stayed for my children. I tried to protect my innocent children from the mayhem until one Christmas Day, of all days, as my two daughters and I were unwrapping our presents my wife at the time went ballistic; yelling and screaming and swearing, because I bought her the wrong pair of shoes. Oh the vile coming from her mouth, from her being was so gross and abusive I was trying to cover four little ears with my two fatherly hands to protect them. The swearing and yelling and repulsive language increased until I had had enough and walked out for the last time.

In my mind I was protecting my daughters by not giving their mother anymore reasons to yell at me in front of them. I told my daughters that I loved them, hugged and kissed them and left. The divorce proceedings and custody battle lasted for two years and I can count on one hand how many times I was granted my visitation rights in a six year period. It was painful not being able to protect their little innocent hearts which in turn broke my heart to pieces. My wife at the time knew it would hurt me and used my daughters to get even for walking out on her. Reciprocity and Karma must, and will, take care of the rest for what she did to those innocent children.

I’ve since learned that my life is a blessing, that just to breathe is a blessing; to be able to talk, to see, to think, to feel and Love; to experience emotion. I’ve learned over and over from the thousand books read that we must all pay for our wrongdoings in this life and the next or for what we did in past lives until we get it right. What we do to others we do to ourselves. Every action has a reaction and that shapes our reality. That action is called reciprocity.

Reciprocity as described by “http://www.abundance-and-happiness.com/law-of-reciprocity.html” states:

            The Law of Reciprocity is the Universal Law that states that whatever is sent out into the cosmos in the way of energy or vibration through the resonance of your thoughts, emotions and actions, will manifest outcomes in the physical world . . . physical outcomes that unfold in your life based on whatever is given or broadcast out through those thoughts, emotions and actions. (Danes, 2008, Web)

So there you have it. Reciprocity is a Universal Law and, by the way, is one of my favorite words. Some learn the hard way to live by the Universal Laws, such as I did until that blessed day I cried to God, Source, or Creator (whatever you want to call it) on my living room floor launching me on a new path of enlightenment and self-discovery. It’s been a wonderful journey filling me with ancient knowledge, Love and happiness. I am so grateful for the awakening.

I am grateful knowing that my daughters chose this path; they chose me to be their dad and these lessons to learn in order to grow spiritually.

Today, some 27- years after walking out on their mother, I went on a walk with my oldest daughter whom I get to teach, still, about life . . . albeit in subtle ways. I just love planting seeds in her brain and warm heart and to watch them grow. She grew to be a beautiful, sweet-hearted woman. She’s a wonderful caring mom and a lover of Nature. She saw the lies back then and understands now.

It is my youngest daughter who was hurt the most by a nonsensical, neurotic ego of a lying, not-so-loving mother, and who to this day has a problem trusting me and my love for her. My youngest daughter was taught to judge. I’ve learned in those books that we cannot judge others for they will never meet our expectations and that judgment creates anger.

My youngest daughter and I hardly talk, but I am grateful she is a strong woman, highly educated and on her own individual journey of understanding and learning. Her journey has turned out perfect actually for she is a child psychologist helping little hearts and little minds to mend. How amazing it is, knowing, that my youngest daughter had to go through such pain at a young age in order to be the person that she is today. You see, everything is perfect we just have to get out of the way, to Let Go and Let God. I pray someday she will be my little buddy again, my little shadow . . . maybe in heaven. And that and this journey that we are on together, I am forever grateful for.