Your Happy Helper

The brown blades of the fan circled over and over as I stared up at the ceiling, a gentle breeze blowing over my skin. It let out a small tick tick tick as the pull cords swung around, clicking the small dice decorations together. I glanced over to the window. My curtains shut out most of the light, but some moonlight spilled over the top, softly illuminating the ceiling. I pulled my teddy bear closer to me and kissed the top of his head. “Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, Bubbles,” I whispered and smiled. He didn’t answer.

I rolled over and curled into the fetal position, resting my head on my soft silk pillow. It had smudged mascara stains from nights I couldn’t be bothered to get ready for bed. I pulled up my blush pink comforter to my cheek, then stuck my legs out so they were still cool. I switched to my other side, then to my back, then onto my stomach. After fluffing my pillow, I tried desperately to relax and let sleep wash over me. Try to relax…yeah right. Still wide awake, I groaned and got up to embrace my sleepless night.

I walked out of my bedroom and into the kitchen, opening the fridge to crack open a hard seltzer. Flopping down on my thrifted sofa, I kicked my feet up on the hideous ottomans, also thrifted, and turned the TV on, channel surfing until I landed on HLN, broadcasting my favorite show, Forensic Files. They were showing one of my favorite episodes, "Shattered Dreams," which was about a murder that had happened 20 years ago at my first university.

I grabbed my laptop and opened CTiger, my coding platform of choice. After a brief pause, all 800 lines of code slowly filled the screen. It was my pride and joy - the most complex program I have written. My goal was to create a program that used an optimization algorithm with artificial intelligence to understand the wants of the user; if all went well, only a few keywords and a quick biometric scan would take the user to the memory that would best help their mood.

I plugged in my old headphones and clicked run, crossing my fingers in hopes it would work. “Hello, user,” my laptop narrated. “I am Alex, your happy helper. Please enter your emotion by typing the corresponding number; one for happy, two for sad, and three for angry.” I clicked one and pressed enter.

“Thank you for your input. Please hold,” Alex announced.“I am designed to improve your mental well-being. Please place the biometric headband on your head and the white glove on your right hand. When these are properly in place, please press one.” I shifted in my seat and grabbed the headband, which fit tightly on my temples. I pulled on the equally tight gloves, then clicked one. “Thank you,” Alex read. “I will now begin running my program. Due to my programming being in its early stages, I will automatically return you after thirty seconds. The current time is 1:27 am. The date is 17 May 2022. Heart rate: 92 beats per minute and increasing. Blood pressure: 121 over 80. Please close your eyes, relax, and I will see you soon,” he finished. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Although I had done this before, I was still nervous. A light tingling sensation took over my temples and the back of my neck. Chills went down my spine. I cleared my throat and opened my eyes.

I was in a room I knew like the back of my hand. It was the living room of my first apartment. A small chest of drawers held candles and coasters atop. The TV stand next to it was messy with Wii games strewn about. My patio blinds were open, and the iridescent pinwheel cast rainbows along the white walls. Most importantly, there I stood with Nicole, a tall, white girl with curly brown hair and freckles.

“Oh my god, Meadow! Did it hurt?” Nicole asked. I watched as she walked over to me. Well, past me. Past me lifted up her flowy pink shirt, showing off the tattoo she had just gotten. I knew this day. It was August 25, 2019. Two days after her 18th birthday. 

“Yeah, dude, like a bitch! Rib tattoos are no joke. My artist thought I was insane for getting my first one on my rib, but I can’t imagine it being anywhere else,” past me told her. She nodded.

“Never rooted. Sounds special. You have a story for it??” she asked. Past me shook her head.

“No. Well, I guess it has a meaning to me, but there’s not really a story. I was just like, ‘oh, nothing can hold me down.’ So, I picked that,” past me replied. I got up and walked toward the scene. I reached my hand out, touching Nicole. She didn’t react. Not like she would have, anyways. I wasn’t there. I was just remembering in surround sound, I guess.

“Well, I absolutely love it. Are you still down for hitting Club Fondy tonight?” Nicole asked. Past me nodded her head.

“Yea! Hey, I want to go-” past me’s voice faded out as Alex’s voice filled my ears.

“For your safety, return to reality will happen in 5 seconds. Please stand still. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,” he recited. “Returning to reality commences now.”

A high-pitched shrill pierced my ears. I winced, and my head began pounding behind my eyes. My head tickled as the headband pulsed. My fingertips felt like television static.

“Heart rate: 147 beats per minute. Blood pressure: 125 over 84. Please open your eyes, take deep breaths, and remove the biometric headband. Please keep the biometric glove on so I may continue to analyze your vitals before deeming you safe to continue your daily tasks,” Alex instructed. I fluttered my eyes open. A wave of nausea hit me. The room was shaking a little and was more colorful than usual.

“God, I need to stabilize that,” I muttered to myself. I was happy, though. While it wasn’t my first successful run, it was the first one where all of Alex’s components were working. I reached for my phone and pulled up my messages with Nicole. Alex finally worked the way I wanted him to!! I texted. A typing bubble popped up, then disappeared. I frowned. Maybe she was with her boyfriend and couldn’t text back.

I opened my laptop and began walking through my code again, sipping on my seltzer. Alex was properly working the way I wanted him to. He kept all his polite mannerisms, and key information was always passed onto the user, but I had run the program enough times where he changed his speech a bit based on the biometric data he collected. If he sensed the person was nervous, he spoke more softly. If they were happy, he didn’t make any changes to his tone.

I found the part of my code where the user exits their view of the memory. I didn’t like how jarring it was coming out of the memory. It made me feel sick every time. I started making small changes to my code, then testing that it would compile, making sure I wouldn’t get lost if I made a bad edit.

Suddenly, my screen flashed a loading symbol, then went black. “Dammit,” I mumbled. I held the power button down, let go, then pressed on it again. The monitor came to life, revealing the restart screen and my mouse arrow, frozen as the spinning rainbow circle of death overtook my screen. Minutes later, my home screen came to life, the background revealing a randomized stock photo of a mountain. I again loaded up CTiger, enjoying my seltzer as I waited. The carbonation fizzled in my nose, making my eyes water. My program came to life, and I held my breath as I clicked the run button again, hoping my computer would not crash again.

“Hello, user,” my laptop narrated. “I am Alex, your happy helper. Please enter your emotion by typing the corresponding number; one for happy, two for sad, and three for angry.” I clicked three and pressed enter.

“Thank you for your input. Please hold,” Alex announced.“I am designed to help make your mood more positive. At your convenience, please place the biometric headband on your head and the white glove on your right hand. When these are properly in place, please press one. There is no rush.” I sat up and pulled on the headband and glove yet again, then clicked one. “Thank you,” Alex read. “I will now run my program. Please understand that since I am still new, I will automatically return you after 30 seconds to ensure safety. The current time is 2:08 am. The date is 17 May 2022. Heart rate: 79 beats per minute. Blood pressure: 120 over 80. Please, close your eyes and relax. I will see you soon,” he finished. I obeyed, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I brought my seltzer up to my lips for one last chug, then loudly burped as I finished off the can. I could feel the alcohol warming my ears and tingling in my toes. The tingling slowly took over my head and neck, and I shivered as chills ran down my back.

“No you didn’t!” a voice laughed. The sound of rushing water and laughter filled the air. I opened my eyes to see Nicole spraying a water hose. She was being chased–by me. I slowly stood up and walked toward the scene. I remembered this. The popped water balloons on the ground, the filled bird bath in the front yard. It was the first time I had ever got into a water balloon fight. I was seven. 

Nicole and young me ran around the backyard, splashing each other and laughing. They were both soaking wet. The pair flopped down on the grass, laughing with each other.

“Do you think we’re going to spend every birthday party together?” young me asked Nicole.

“Of course!” she squealed. “We’re best friends! We’re going to be at all of our birthday parties, even when we’re super old. Like, fifty years old!” she laughed. Young me smiled.

“Wow,” I whispered, in sync with young me. “Fifty is really old,” I finished. I smiled. This was one of my favorite memories–a core memory, one could argue. It was the time I realized I loved Nicole. I didn’t know in what way, but I knew I always wanted her in my life.

“Yeah, fifty is old. Good thing we’re so far away it’s like, almost never going to come. The world is probably gonna explode before we even turn fifty,” young me said. She held the hose in her hand but crimped part of it. “Hey, the water isn’t working? Can you see if there’s something wrong?” she asked. I chuckled. I knew where this was going.

Nicole walked over and looked directly down the hose. “No, I don’t see anyth-,” the spray of water splashing her in the face as young me opened the hose cut her off. “I’m gonna get you so bad!” she squealed, running after young me, who had the wisdom to take off sprinting while Nicole was blinded by the water. 

“Returning to reality in five seconds,” Alex interrupted. I sighed. “Please stand still,” he commanded. I put my hands together and waited for the countdown. 

The countdown didn’t come.

“Alex?” I said aloud. He didn’t answer. “Alex? Alex, where’d you go? Take me back!” I shouted. Nicole whipped her head around and looked me dead in the eye. I didn’t blink. “Alex, fix this right now,” I whispered, not breaking eye contact with Nicole.

“Hi!” she smiled. “Are you here for my birthday party?” she asked. I looked around. There was nobody else around. “Hello, I’m talking to you!” she called again. I looked at her, terrified. This cannot be happening. “Are you going to say anything?” she asked. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. 

“Who are you talking to, Nikky?” young me questioned. Nicole pointed at me, and again, I made eye contact, this time, with me. “Oh. Hi! Are you here for Nikky’s party?” she asked.

“Oh, Meadow, she doesn’t know how to talk,” Nicole answered.

“No, I- I do,” I stammered. “I’m just really confused right now,” I answered.

“That’s okay,” Nicole reassured me. “I get really confused when we do multiplication.” I nodded. “And sometimes Meadow gets confused and puts on her pants backwards,” she giggled. I chuckled. I had forgotten about that one. Nicole didn’t let me live it down for a solid three years. “So, why are you confused?” she asked. I racked my brain, trying to think of an answer.

“I was just confused because I turned on the wrong street! I just was out for a walk and got lost. But, I just remembered I turned left when I should have turned right,” I lied.

“Oh,” Nicole smiled. “Well, good luck getting home!” she encouraged me.

“Thanks,” I replied. “And uh, happy birthday, I guess,” I finished. I turned and started walking up the street. This cannot be happening. “Alex,” I muttered under my breath. “Alex, bring me back,” I whispered again. This cannot be happening. I’m only supposed to see memories, not be in them. “What the fuck did I do to my code?” I murmured. I pulled at the hoodie that covered my bare torso. It was way too hot for a sweatshirt here, but I didn’t really have many other options. The hoodie was comfortable in my air-conditioned apartment. It was hell here. What even is here? Where am I? I questioned myself.

I paused walking and sat down on the sidewalk. “Alex, please, bring me back. I cannot be stuck in 2008. I cannot be stuck in 2008. What even is happening in 2022? Am I dead? Alex, please, just bring me back and let me fix this. Please,” I hung my head. I didn’t want to be dead. I had an appointment booked for next week for my fourth tattoo.

A tingling sensation in my neck and forehead made my eyes shoot open. “Alex?” I questioned. A hum quickly crescendoed into a loud buzz, right in between my ears. I winced and closed my eyes. My head throbbed in my eyes. I opened them, and finally, I was back in my living room.

“Oh, thank God. Thank God!” I yelled. “Thank you, Alex!” I shouted in delight. I reached for my phone and again pulled up my messages with Nicole. Nikky, you would not believe what just happened with Alex. FaceTime me as soon as you get this. I was in disbelief. Not only had I accidentally time traveled, I also somehow managed to make it back alive.

My phone dinged, and I clicked on the new message. 

Who is this?