Why?

When two people stand up before their preacher, pastor, minister, bishop or whomever it happens to be, to speak those sacred vows, why is it that when the marrying guy says, "Speak now...or forever hold your peace!" No One EVER stands up...no one ever speaks up. Why is that?

Yes, getting married can be the greatest experience of two people's lives but more likely, marriage becomes that thing that not only destroys what was once a terrific relationship; but then totally destroys and devastates every life involved. Surely there are people in the audience who already know this to be true; so why not speak? People invited to a wedding are supposed to love; or at least care about the two twitter-patted love birds who can't peel their eyeballs off each other long enough to see clearly. Isn't this the very moment when clarity is so desperately needed?

Now, don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer in the sanctity of marriage...I really am, but I also know for a fact, that not all marriages are created equal. So if others can see that two people are headed into shark infested waters, shouldn't they at least TRY to shed some light on that fact? Isn't it the kind thing to do even if it is terrifying? Even if the two getting married never forgive you and their families hire a hit man to step up to you and hit you...still, don't you owe the couple that much? If it saves them from a life of heartache and misery, divorce and all of the lovely blessings that brings.

Ya know...they call them broken homes for a very good reason...because they're broken. The couple who stood up to say the vows (Uninterruptedly), they're broken, their poor little children are broken. They have no idea; as they drive off into the sunset, toward their bliss filled honeymoon, that the very bridge they need to cross over to get there has just been blown up by their own ignorance and short sighted naivete.

Sometimes it doesn't even take that long for the changes to commence. Within hours of the nuptials; one of them, or both of them, morph into a completely different person, someone the other spouse had no idea even existed and so the nightmare begins.

Sex is no reason to get married, babies are actually the very reason people shouldn't get married. Take pity, have a heart on the poor babies, and little children, who invariably get thrown into the mix, unprepared, defenseless, little people who have nowhere to hide; from their immature and irresponsible parents. The emotional, mental and physical abuse these little children have no choice but to face every day, has become a national plague upon our country. Little children, who learn how to be married people and parents, from watching their parents; who never learned how to even be kind.

It's no wonder we have so many troubled children and adults in our country. People who are addicted to every substance known to man...legal and illegal. Parents who are so caught up in their own lives that they couldn't care less what their teenagers are doing; They couldn't care less what's happening to their little children; who are conveniently being raised by the fifteen year old nanny, young kids who are curious and do inappropriate things to the little children, then the little children do inappropriate things to each other but have no idea why it is they feel unnatural affections for people they shouldn't even be thinking about in that way at all!

There is a great deal of truth out there, truth people don't like and don't want to hear; say nothing of considering seriously but it's still out there just the same. How many people, are going to suffer at the end of the day because someone, (everyone) was too afraid to stand up and "Speak Now"?

Every broken home has broken kids in it. The kids are hurting and angry. All they want is for mommy and daddy to get back together but mommy and daddy are now creating another dysfunctional family, soon to become another broken home; with even more troubled youth and then they expect that somehow they will blend the two families...or four and expect it will all turn out harmoniously.

The fact that all adults need to understand, adults who are contemplating marriage. Once you make that kind of commitment, your wants and desires come last...it's just a fact but if both of you understand that fact then your needs will always come first without you even having to try. You wind up putting each other's dreams and needs and desires first. Then when the strip turns pink or blue...that's where your life as a single entity ends....FOREVER. Once you're a parent their needs come first...ALWAYS. Once you are a parent you will NEVER not be a parent. That is a condition that just plain never goes away. The parents who understand this and embrace it, are the ones who find success as parents. The children come first, their needs, their dreams, their school work, their activities. You already had your time to be single and put your wants and needs and dreams first. It's not the children's fault you cut the time in your life short. Even so...now it's their turn and YOU are their parent...they come first.

Now...because people are naturally selfish and greedy, most parents have a difficult time separating themselves from wanting to go out and do what they want, when they want, with whomever they like, as long as they choose to. This is where the trouble begins. Parenthood is a thankless, self sacrificing job and yet the child can't be molly coddled either. Spare the rod spoil the child. It's a delicate dance, and a real art form these days, seeing as parents don't seem to grasp the intricacies of healthy parenting. It's just so much easier to hire a babysitter and let them parent the child. Talk about confusing for the little children.