MUSHROOM CLOUD

TALK THE TALK

"Helloooo - well look what the cat dragged in!"

"Never mind cats dragging in - you could say the cat  managed to drag me  out for a caffeinating session after spending the morning in bed."

"And you were in bed with whom?"

"You mean, with what? The remote control for my Netflix. Good bit of nooky in the movie I was watching, though, if that is a satisfactory answer."

"I wasn't judging - but I do think you should be doing less Netflix and chill, and more chilling outdoors  with an iced coffee! The weather is so good."

"I must say it would be great if I could do both kinds of chills, with the added bonus of some decidedly not-very- chilly, adventurous sex with someone at the same time. Our grunts and moans would make a great accompaniment to the sex in the movies I love to watch. But my bipolar has been quite horrendous lately - this time when I fell down from my high I fell hard. I wish I had more of a sexual urge, but I can't muster it."

"Weird - you have just used a metaphor for suicide - falling hard after jumping from a building! I hope you aren't considering such a thing."

"I have often felt like doing just that when I am at my very lowest point. But what I have done is jumped  the queue to see a psychiatrist soon, and believe me, many hoops were jumped through to get to that point. I was reading about a new medication that shows promise - I hope the good doc will prescribe it."

"Well, you could avoid a costly psychiatrist visit by allowing me to prescribe a colossal blended iced Mokkachillo - triple thick with an extra shot of high-caffeine espresso and whipped double cream - expensive but my treat!  From everyone’s favorite cafe,  the Java Jolt."

“H - how did you know - we’ve only just met! Have you been spying on me?”

“Let’s just say I can extrapolate from experience.  I’ve been where you are, and I knew you were suffering the moment I laid eyes on you.

“Well, you just might be a kindred spirit!”

“I suppose I could be.  Was in the  bad place from alcoholism and addiction to prescription drugs - in remission five years now.”

"Er - I guess we do have something in common  - and thanks for the offer - well the provincial health insurance will pay for doctor's visits  - but maybe, just maybe you have the better solution for the time being!"

"Life, happens, shit happens, death &  taxes happens, but coffee always helps! Didn't you know?  That best-loved if much-maligned   brew, always by my side when doing my writing - was almost fully responsible for my recovery - no jiggery pokery or fancy-schmancy medication  needed.”

"I think you have now put me   in a headspace to rediscover the simple joys of coffee  for myself!”

“There is also another kind of coffee that really hits the spot every time!  Mushroom coffee.”

“Like a whole bunch of different mushrooms blended together in an imitation coffee powder?”

“Well - not exactly - mushroom coffee refers to the experience of drinking coffee while undergoing mushroom therapy.”

“Oh, that.  but doesn’t the mushroom-brain state make the coffee taste weird?”

“I think it heightens the taste.  Doing mushrooms has also done a lot to help me, although I discovered them only recently.  I think they make the caffeinating experience extra-special.  I might try them when I get my next spark of creativity, and see where I go.  Would you like to join me - have you done mushrooms before?”

“I was interested in guided mushroom therapy - but it’s too expensive and I also felt it was a big risk to take for the price.  So far the only mushrooms I’ve had are on a pizza, I’m afraid”

“I will guide us with my own mushroom therapy - and won’t charge you a cent.  I think you will like it - you’ve no idea how it can really jumpstart the creativity, which is also great for mental health, as I’m sure you’re aware.”

“But I must also have a cup of coffee in hand.”

“Absolutely.”

“And what if something goes wrong?  What if I get sick or have some kind of breakdown while mushrooming?  Do you think that’s a potential problem?”

“I have read extensively on mushroom therapy, and I know exactly what to do.  I’ve been doing my own therapy for a year now.  You’ll be fine, I promise.”

“What mushrooms are used in this therapy?  Not white button or shiitake, I’m willing to bet.”

“Psilocybin mushrooms - that is their active ingredient.   It is well-known to be effective in treating mental-health conditions, creative impulses aside.”

“Actually, I am happy to try the mushrooms with you.  I used to paint, before the bipolar really set in - and have been feeling a bit flat and uninspired.  I would like to start my painting again, and from what you have told me the magic mushrooms really help with that.  But what I would like to know is - how do they do it?”

“You may see images - beautiful images - in vivid colors.  A bit like LSD, but without the nastiness.  You might just get a vision of something you would like to commit to canvas.  If you get such a vision, just tell me about it and I will draw a rough diagram - or if you remember after you’ve come down - oops there’s the falling metaphor again - you could simply draw one yourself.”

“You promise I won’t just go insane instead?”

“Well, obviously there are no guarantees, but from my experience and those of others I’ve heard about, it’s highly unlikely.”

“After we’ve had our coffees, we can always go to Pedro’s Pizza and get a New York slice with a shitload of shiitake mushrooms - I think that will be a good start!”

“That will be a brilliant start.  With extra super-gooey mozzarella and the thickest crust they have, of course.”

“They actually have a mushroom-cauliflower crust.  We can have that”

“You’re kidding!”

“Nope.  And it’s fantastic.”

"You never know - I might get a mind full of inspiration after a belly full of mushroom pizza! Both 'mindful and mind full' - but in a good way."

"You never know when inspiration will strike, true. But being a 'shroom-head could put you in the big leagues, artist-wise."

"We'd better make that start, then."

"Let's go!"