Simon Worthington

Why did I take this job? Never respected, never listened to, always taken for granted. I know the perks are great but, is it really worth it? Boss is always on my butt, a real control freak, micromanaging every move I make, every decision, every choice. Hours suck, on call, 24/7, physically taxing to the point of abuse, not to mention the training time and hours put in on a daily basis, sometimes six to seven hours. Weight training, aerobics, martial arts, cardio, yoga. Weapons training from katana to staff to nunchucks. 

We always have to do things his way, I never get to share my ideas. The incident the other day, if we had done it my way, no injuries, no casualties. I have run the calculations twenty times through S.A.M., which stands for Simulation Assessment Module, and every time my plan has a ninety-two percent success rate. You never get one hundred percent, anything over eighty-five and you are happy. Too many variables to predict to ever hope for perfection. His plan was risky from the start. Meant to show off his talents instead of putting the focus on the client. Success rate of sixty-seven percent. Not good. Those six people, those poor innocent souls died because of his vanity. I don’t know if I can take this anymore. Losing people is always tough. We are paid to protect this city. I vowed to lay down my life if necessary in the pursuit of that objective. He just gives me a pat on the back and the “we can’t win them all “ speech. Heads to his office to drown his failings in a bottle of liquid regret.  

Got into the office early today to find a manilla envelope with my name on it. Return address from the law offices of ambulance, chaser, and leech. A client that we saved from imminent danger, most likely death is suing for damages. I tore her rotator cuff when I grabbed her out of the way of the oncoming car. 

Unbelievable! You’d be dead if it wasn’t for me!  

Maybe I need to find a new line of work. The boss, the clients, even our employer, the city of Metroburg, they all suck pond water. The mayor came to our headquarters today to inform us that a petition was signed by over five thousand of our fair citizens. This petition states that the citizens of Metroburg want us to relocate outside of the city limits, to pay monetary damages for destruction of property, and to ask for permission before assisting anyone in the future. I burst out laughing hysterically, right in front of Mayor Goodman. Tears streaming down my face, can’t catch your breath laughter, while his silver mustached sallow-skinned face stared at me in disbelief.  

“How dare you not take this seriously, Simon! The citizens' voices need to be heard and respected”, said Mayor Goodman.

“Don't take it seriously!! You pompous blowhard! I’ve spent my entire life preparing for this job. I spend more time worrying about the citizens of this city, than you ever have! You need to leave before I do something I will regret. Oh, and take this toilet paper with you as that is all this “petition” is good for, your royal highness.”

My name is Simon Worthington. 

You would never know that I am a superhero. 

I’m nothing special. Average height, average weight, average in most things I have ever tried or done. Until that day. The day that changed everything.  

Walking down Main St. in Metroburg, a cool November day, blustery with the threat of winter on its way. Bundled up, with only eyes bare to the elements of Mother Nature. In the distance, an eighteen-wheeler jackknifed, dumping toxic waste from Centrifugal Energy onto the roadway. I didn’t think anything of it. It was at least a mile away.  

Then, strange things started happening.

I didn’t look any different, but my body was changing. The broken door handles, bed, car door were just part of the wreckage of this metamorphosis. 

Within one week, I became super strong. Like an ant except with no antennae. I found out that I could lift more than ten times my actual weight. How you say? Good old-fashioned trial and error, of course. Lift the refrigerator, lift the car, lift the school bus. That one didn’t go over very well with the bus driver. The students on the other hand loved it. 

A week later, my body started vibrating. I noticed it while I was driving. All of a sudden, my hands were shaking at such a high speed, I had to pull over to the breakdown lane. A blur at the end of my arms was all I could see. Then my entire body followed suit. I thought I was dying. Only to realize it was another toxic waste induced puberty. Super speed, I found out. I started to try to walk towards Mercy Hospital, then was there, in milliseconds.

Five months later, I’m deemed fit by the doctors. One month after that, a phone call from the mayor. Asking if I want a job with the city. Simon Worthington is my given name. Most people don’t know me by that name though. They know me as Wonderboy, sidekick, punching bag, lackey to Birdman, the greatest superhero to ever live. He can fly like a human-sized bird. Yet, I’m the sidekick. Second string. Only because he was here years before me. Still stuck in the past, not willing to adapt to new threats and challenges. A dinosaur in spandex tights. If it ain’t broke, leave it alone, he says to me all the time. Can’t even get the saying right.  

“Wonderboy! Wonderboy! Where are you? I can’t defeat this lava monster without your help. Come in, Wonderboy!” The pterodactyl’s gravelly voice comes into my headset, all worry and concern. 

Maybe, I should just let nature take its course. No one beats Father Time.  

Oh, crap I’ve had the wrong career path all along. I’m a villain. I hate everyone, all the time. Why? Because I am better than all of them. Damn, self-realization is liberating. I have been fighting my nature all this time.  

“Sorry, Birdman. Wonderboy isn’t here. My name is Vengeance.”