What cake to choose and other huge decisions

We glared at each other over the cake samples spread out on the table, none of us backing down. The man working at the cake-shop looked back and forth between us, gulping nervously. What was supposed to be a nice cake-testing had become a battlefield. I should have known my sister would bring this up again.

“I thought we agreed to drop this,” I said through clenched teeth.

My sister flipped her hair over one shoulder, rolling her eyes.

“You asked for my opinion.”

“On which cake to choose!”

“Fine then!”

Leaning over the table she grabbed the vanilla flavored sample. She aggressively stabbed it with her fork and shoved it in her mouth, chewing obnoxiously. Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

“This is the cake you want to go with?” She made an unimpressed face as she finished and pushed the plate away. “A little bland, don’t you think? Boring. You sure you’re willing to commit to this one forever?” She gave me a pointy look. I gritted my teeth.

The employee tried to step in, raised a finger.

“Oh, if it’s too bland we can-“

“Maybe I like it that way, have you thought of that, of asking what I want? It’s my wedding, isn’t it?” I interrupted.

The employee sensed that it was best to back away as I glared daggers into my sister who acted like she didn’t notice.

“Yeah, right.” She sneered.

“I do!”

I looked at the sad, smeared remains of the vanilla flavored sample.

“Or maybe you’re only kidding yourself.” My sister said dryly.

“Come on! I’ve seen the way you look at the other cake.” She grabbed the chocolate and orange flavored one and pushed it towards me. “You’re really gonna deny that you’d rather have this one?”

I glanced at it. It looked supple and delicious – tempting.

“Are you afraid, is that it? You think it’s too risky to pick this one? So instead you’re going with some safe bet,” she looked pointedly to the vanilla cake, “instead of the one you actually want?” Scooping up a piece of the chocolate-orange cake she held out the fork in front of my mouth, prompting me to taste it. “Come on. Have a taste. I know you want to.”

I pressed my lips together tightly. My sister sighed exasperatedly and dropped the fork on the plate with a loud clatter.

“I’m just trying to help you!”

“If you want to help me you’d support my choice! I like the vanilla one, that’s the one I’ve chosen. End of discussion.”

She sank back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. Annoyed I huffed and turned away from her.

The employee waited an awkward moment before hesitantly stepping forward.

“So it seems we’re going with the vanilla-“

 “Look, I’m your sister! I only want what’s best for you.” My sister burst out heatedly. “I’m not gonna let you make a huge mistake.”

The man was sweating profusely by now, dabbing himself with a handkerchief.

“Oh I’m sure whatever one you’ll chose won’t be a huge-“

“What’s so wrong with the vanilla one?” I defensively crossed my arms too over my chest.

My sister made a grimace.

“Nothing wrong exactly. I just don’t get why you would settle for it when I know it’s not gonna make you happy. It’s obvious that deep down you want the other one more.”

“You don’t know anything!” I said vehemently.

“Yes I do! I know you. Right now it might be the easy option but what about in five, ten years. You really think you won’t regret it then?“

“It’s not that simple!” I shouted.

I had been a little too loud. The employee watched me with slightly gaping mouth. I drew in a deep breath, closed my eyes momentarily to try to collect myself before speaking.

“The wedding is in less than a month. I can’t afford to have second thoughts now. And what’s so wrong with safe and easy anyway? I like safe, I like vanilla.”

“Yes,” my sister said slowly, like she was talking to a child, “but you’re not head over heels for it like you are with the other one.”

I didn’t respond to that. My sister studied me for a couple more moments before shaking her head.

“You always have to make things so difficult for yourself. You’ve been like this ever since we were kids, it’s extremely annoying.”

I felt my last ounce of patience rapidly slip away.

“Well I’m sorry I’m not like you, that I can’t just walk around eating whatever cake I want without thinking of the consequences.”

My sister slammed her palm against the table and got halfway out of her chair.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what I said. Some of us have responsibilities, have to think about other people. Everyone can’t just go around following their every whim-“

“Oh my god!” My sister interrupted. “The only reason you’re this defensive is because you know I’m right.”

“Right about what?” I said stubbornly.

My sister tried to stare me down but I didn’t fold. She narrowed her eyes dangerously. I raised my eyebrows. With animated movements she grabbed the two plates and slammed them down in front of me.

“You have two options. One,” she pointed to the chocolate-orange flavored cake, “that is everything you’ve ever wanted - that you actually love, that you’ve always loved. And another,” she gestured dismissively to the vanilla one, “that’s easy and convenient and boring. One you try to fool yourself you love. If you chose that one you’re always gonna wonder what could have been if you’d chosen the other-“

Before I even knew what I was doing I had picked up the chocolate sample and flung it at her. For a moment she just stared at me, mouth gaping as cake slowly drippled down her cheek, a big chunk landing on her shirt with a slight splashing noise. The shock subsided quickly though and her face contorted in rage.

“Oh, it’s on,” she said dangerously.

“What are you doing! You can’t-”

The employee’s protest was drowned by our fierce shrills as my sister attacked me and I desperately tried to avoid it. I grabbed her wrists to stop her but she managed to wring free and next thing I knew I had cake smeared all over my face.

“I’m only trying to look out for you, you idiot! But you’re too proud and stubborn to admit you're making the wrong choice.”

“It’s not about that!” I shouted, trying to push her off me.

 “Ladies, please! It’s only a cake! Let’s not-” The employee begged.

 “Then what is it about?” She was shouting too.

“It wouldn’t be fair to them!”

My sister stilled.

We were both breathing heavily from the wrestling. She stared at me and I dejectedly sighed, rubbing a cake-stained hand over my forehead.

“It wouldn’t be fair to either of them,” I repeated. “I already made my choice. I can’t break up the engagement a few weeks before our wedding. And Jason...I’m not even sure it would work out between us.”

We sat in silence for a while. I tried to wipe away some sticky custard from my face with my sleeve. A nudge on my arm had me turning and I saw my sister handing me a napkin. After a moment I grudgingly accepted it - wanting to get rid of the mess trumping wanting to be petulant.

“Hey.” She spoke softer now. “I’m sorry. You know I only want what’s best for you, right?”

“Mmm,” I hummed in response.

“And it’s never too late to change your mind.” She continued.

I didn’t answer. Instead I watched the ring gleaming on my left hand.

The easy option. The safe one.

“You shouldn’t let fear and guilt decide for you. Besides, how is it fair to you or to them if you marry someone you don’t really love?”

I still didn’t answer.

“I think you should call him, call Jason.”

I looked up and saw my sister holding out her phone to me. I stared at it.

The risky option. The one I’d always wanted.

I hesitated.