Fish

It is going to be perfect, Tina thought, the last thing I need are the flowers. She was thinking about this dinner party for a week. She didn’t love having people over, but Kevin had asked them to come, and Tina would die rather than find a reason to say no. Also, she had some time on her hands since she just quit her job because Kevin made so much money off of selling his internet company. OK, what should I buy? Yellow flowers are for sad hospital visits, white is too romantic, red is way too over the top. Maybe something purple or lilac? She found an arrangement after half an hour of looking, and went back home. 

She had thought what to cook for 2 days, and eventually decided on salmon. Chicken was risky- what if it’s raw? Meat was too ambitious, she didn’t think she could cook a great meat dish for four without trying it a couple of times. Salmon was easy; just put some oil, lemon and salt on it and stick it in the oven, the recipe said, and it is to die for! This should be good, she thought, nothing too fancy but also has a quality to it. She had asked Kevin to buy the wine, but have a couple of options in case they aren’t in the mood for white wine- a bottle of red and a couple of beer options. They would of course be having gin tonics after dinner. This is too much, Kevin had said, but she thought we can drink it ourselves if there is any leftover, I am not going to be the one who didn’t buy enough drinks.

The doorbell rang just while she was putting the salmon in the oven. Perfect, she thought, everything is going as planned. Mark and Becca had brought a cheesecake as dessert, not perfect after salmon, but it will do. They sat down at the table and while Kevin chatted with them Tina went to the kitchen. The salmon still had fifteen minutes to go, so she cleaned up in the kitchen so if they came back there for something they didn’t see a huge mess. She could hear the laughter and Mark saying that he is starving. Good, she thought, I had put out some snacks just in case.

She took out the salmon fillets from the oven, put them on a serving plate and sprinkled some herbs on them. It looked like a professional dish, so she went to the table proud. 

“Oh honey, neither of us eat fish.” Becca said, with pity in her voice. 

“No, Mark does. What was that place we went, like a month ago? I had fish there! Tina, remember I told you about the place we went after the meeting?”

“Yeah, I didn’t have fish there.”

“But that’s a seafood restaurant.”

“I know, I had some seafood but not fish.”

Kevin, you ignorant, stupid man; you don’t even know what your best friend likes, Tina thought, I shouldn’t have trusted you with this. What are we going to do now? I did ask you if they would like salmon. But she said: 

“Honey, it’s OK! I’m sorry, I should have asked you guys. Let me go see what else we have, give me a second. Dear, can you please come with me?”

They went to the kitchen. Tina slammed the plate on the counter, took a breath and whispered to herself:

“It’s going to be OK.” 

“Of course it is! It’s no big deal, Tina, I think we should just order something so you don’t spend all evening here.”

“Fine. Just ask them what they want and order please?”

“Why are you mad?”

“I’m not mad, it’s fine. Just order something. Go back, I’ll be right there.”

She didn’t want them to think she was frustrated, but she knew she would have eaten if it was her, it was the kind thing to do. Some people are just inconsiderate. I am now going to be the host who had to order takeout. She took one more breath, if she spent more time in the kitchen they would think she was crying or something. She put some wine in a glass, had a big gulp of it and went back. They had ordered McDonald’s.

“This is better, I haven’t had McDonald’s for so long!” Mark said with a pretend excitement. 

They pitied her. I shouldn’t have said OK to them coming over she thought, I should have just said what I thought. We could have gone out and everybody could have had whatever the fuck they wanted. I never say no to things that I don’t want to do and I end up like this. I didn’t even want you and now you feel bad for me? I don’t need your pity! 

The food arrived.

Oh, now you eat! I will never invite anyone ever again. Or maybe I will, but then maybe I’ll ask them if they will eat what I have planned? No, that sounds like I am thinking about it too much like an uptight housewife. How do people do this? Has this ever happened before while I was at someones house? No, definitely not, I would never do this. Maybe I should. If I had, I wouldn’t have eaten that weird stew that Kevin’s mother had made. 

They finished eating. 

Kevin’s mother. What a weird woman, why would someone make that to serve at a dinner? It was like a normal weeknight dish, like she had made something from things she had lying around with no thought whatsoever. Then again, I thought for a week and what happened? I am such an idiot. Why did I think about this so much? I could have done something else rather than look for recipes. Obviously they are not worth it. I never liked that Mark, all he talks about are money and cars. I never met Becca before, but who would marry that guy? 

Kevin asked if they wanted to play Trivial Pursuit. 

Then again, I married someone who doesn’t care about anything. He doesn’t even recognise how I feel now. He didn’t even know his best friend doesn’t eat fish. I know what my best friend likes. He is always like this, never cares about other people. Never interested in what they are doing, just does what he wants. So annoying. Never heard him worry about what impression he makes. I don’t remember him ever trying to be thoughtful. He never thinks about how he makes people feel. 

They had some drinks.

Everybody likes him though. He has so many friends, everyone wants to spend time with him. Don’t they see he just doesn’t care? I only have like 5 friends. I could have more if I wanted. I don’t want friends like these people, they are idiots. My friends are so much better. I should just call them more often, we sometimes fall out of communication. No, I call them more often than they call me, I should wait for them to call me. If they want to talk, they would call. Don’t they want to see me? I know they always have a lot of fun with me. And they also know I care. Maybe that’s why they don’t call me as often. They know I will.

The game ended. They talked a bit about work and how Tina quit her horrible job last week.

I will call my best friend tomorrow and tell her about this. I bet she will agree with me. She is like me, she would eat whatever I cooked, wouldn’t she? But then again, I know what she likes. Still, she will understand how annoying these people are. 

Mark and Becca left. 

Thank God, Tina thought. 

“See honey, I know it was tiring for you but look how much everyone had! You were an amazing host. Thank you for doing this, I love you.” Kevin said. 

Tina knew he was saying this just to say it. Or maybe he was making fun of me, she thought, we had to order in. How can he make fun of me? I am the one who spent hours to make his stupid friends happy, and they didn’t even respect it. 

Anyway, she was too tired to ask.

———

Tina was rushing to the interview, thinking I can’t be late for this, nobody will take me seriously if I am. These are the only people who would interview someone who hasn’t worked for 10 years. She heard her name across the street. It was the guy who doesn’t eat fish. She had never had them over since then. They were Kevin’s friends, he had gotten custody of them after the divorce. 

“Hey, it has been so long, how are you?” He asked.

“You know, it’s going.” Tina said. “I am thinking about going back to work, I have an interview now.”

“Amazing! I am sure you will kill it. You are like the smartest person ever, I have never seen someone who is better than you at Trivial Pursuit. I always think about that night at your place when we play that game you know, we had so much fun!”

“Thanks. Do you remember the food that night? I have been thinking about it for 10 years.” She jokingly said.

“Oh, I don’t remember, I am sure it was amazing though.”

“Mmm…Okay, see you later then!”

What an idiot. He didn’t even remember. Or maybe he did and he was making fun of her.