I was a small child then

I was in the kitchen with my grandma Agnes. She was making muffins for breakfast. She said they were her special recipe, with blueberries and walnuts and a hint of lemon. She said they were good for the brain and the soul.

She asked me to fetch the sugar from the pantry. I was a small child then, maybe six or seven years old. I liked helping her in the kitchen. She always made me feel important and loved.

I went to the pantry and opened the door. I looked for the sugar on the shelf where it usually was. But instead of the sugar, there was a car air freshener. It was shaped like a pine tree and smelled like mint.

I picked it up and brought it to grandma Agnes. I showed her what I had found.

"Look, grandma, there's no sugar. There's only this thing."

She took it from me and examined it. She laughed.

"Oh, this must be one of your grandpa's practical jokes. He's always trying to make us laugh with his silly tricks."

She looked at me and winked.

"Let's go outside and find him. Maybe he has the sugar with him."

We went outside to the backyard. Grandpa was sitting on a rocking chair, reading a newspaper. He had a pipe in his mouth and a hat on his head. He looked up when he saw us.

"Hello, my darlings. What brings you here?"

Grandma Agnes held up the car air freshener. "Did you do this, you old rascal? Did you replace the sugar with this thing?"

Grandpa smiled and pretended to be innocent.

"What are you talking about, my dear? I don't know anything about that." He winked at me.

"Maybe it was a magic fairy who did it. Or maybe it was you, little one. You're always so clever and mischievous."

I shook my head. "No, grandpa, it wasn't me. I don't know how it got there."

Grandma Agnes laughed. "Come on, admit it. You did it to make us laugh, didn't you?"

Grandpa nodded. "Alright, alright, you got me. I did it to make you laugh. And to see if you would notice."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag of sugar. "Here's the real sugar. I'm sorry for fooling you."

He handed it to grandma Agnes.

She took it and kissed him on the cheek. "You're forgiven, you old fool. But don't do it again, or I'll put salt in your coffee."

She turned to me and said, "Let's go back to the kitchen and finish those muffins."

We went back to the kitchen and resumed our baking. Grandma Agnes added the sugar to the batter and stirred it well. She poured it into the muffin tin and put it in the oven.

She set the timer and said, "Now we wait for them to bake. They'll be ready in 20 minutes."

She looked at me and smiled.

"Do you want to play a game while we wait?"

I nodded, "Yes, grandma, I love games."

She said, "Okay, let's play 'I spy'. You know how to play, right?"

I nodded again. "Yes, grandma, I know how to play."

She said, "Alright, then. I'll start. I spy with my little eye something that is red."

I looked around the kitchen and tried to find something that was red. As I was looking, the phone rang.

Grandma Agnes said, "Excuse me for a moment, dear. I'll be right back."

She went to answer the phone.

I heard her say hello and then her voice changed.

She sounded shocked and scared.

She said things like "What?" and "No!" and "How?"

I wondered what was wrong.

I left the kitchen and followed her to the living room.

She was holding the phone with one hand and covering her mouth with the other.

She had a horror look on her face.

She saw me and said into the phone.

"Hold on a second."

She put the phone down and looked at me with tears in her eyes.

She said in a trembling voice.

"Oh, honey, I have some terrible news for you."

I felt a cold shiver run down my spine.

I asked her what happened.

She said in a whisper.

"There's been an accident."

Suddenly, everything changed.

I was no longer a small child in the kitchen with my grandma Agnes.

I was an adult in a hospital bed with wires attached to my head.

I had been in a car accident yesterday.

I had been driving home from work when a truck ran a red light and hit me from the side.

The impact was so strong that it shattered my skull and damaged my brain.

I lost consciousness and never woke up.

I was in a coma, but I didn't know it.

I was dreaming of my childhood, of my grandma Agnes and grandpa, of the muffins and the game.

I didn't know that they were dead, that they had died years ago in a plane crash.

I didn't know that I was alone, that I had no family or friends.

I didn't know that I was dying, that the doctors had given up on me.

The phone call that grandma Agnes received was from the hospital.

They had called to inform her that I was in a critical condition and that they needed her consent to turn off the machines that kept me alive.

They had called to ask her to say goodbye to me.

But she wasn't there. She wasn't real. She was just a figment of my imagination.

She was just a memory of a happier time.

She hung up the phone and had tears in her eyes.

She said in a trembling voice.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. I love you so much. You're my precious child. You're my everything."

She hugged me and kissed me on the forehead.

She said in a whisper, "Goodbye, honey. Goodbye."

She let go of me and picked up the phone.

She said into the phone, "Okay, doctor. Do it. Turn off the machines."

She hung up the phone and looked at me with a broken heart.

She said in a sob, "Goodbye, honey. Goodbye."

She closed her eyes and faded away.

She was gone.

I was alone.

I felt a sudden jolt of pain and then nothing.

I was gone too.