2 comments

Crime Teens & Young Adult Fiction

So it goes like this, thought Silvestre Vela. The man's contorted body truly was a repulsive sight, it'd twisted itself over the long years and had become a mockery of the human form, fortunately none had to bear this disgusting sight besides the prison guards. Even they couldn’t stand to look at him, perhaps they felt some shame upon seeing his pathetic state. Silvestre had arrived three years earlier, a young, handsome man, he was well built with broad shoulders. A man now unrecognizable, no doubt due to the conditions of his new life. Sleeping on the hard floor in a cold damp cell underneath the city of Córdoba, hidden from the Spanish sun, waiting for the day of execution with minimal nutrition can really destroy a man. Only an old cracked mirror with moss encroaching from all sides provided him any semblance of entertainment, every cell had one which was odd considering how expensive they were, but it was the prison warden’s special idea, that man was always coming up with new ideas, trying to justify his existence, Vela supposed, of course the mirrors weren’t new, they were cracked ones, or in some cases, shards that couldn’t even be sold, the guards had to be weary of prisoners fashioning them into weapons too, but this warden had his ideas and didn’t mind the inconvenience, he put it this way, “Every prisoner must face the consequences of their actions and to do that they must face themselves, to look in a mirror and understand what they truly are. It is fitting that they should watch themselves slowly wither away until their physiognomy matches that of their character, only then will they be ready to depart this world”.


Today was that day for Silvestre and he’d been looking forward to it, finally he’d have a chance to address the crowd, perhaps they expect repentance, he thought, but they shall not get it, they’ll be left completely unsatisfied, that shall be my parting shot. So it goes like this…, Silvestre stood in front of the mirror as proudly as one can with such a twisted body as his and began rehearsing his speech a final time.

“So you’ve all gathered here three years later to watch me die. Perhaps you're not so different from I, for that’s why I did what I did, it began as morbid curiosity, I wanted to see someone's life slip away before my eyes, to see the fear in their eyes the moment they understood the inevitable. I didn’t necessarily want to be the one to do it though, just like you don’t… right? Or perhaps you do, perhaps each and every one of you want to personally have the honour of taking my life, perhaps you have the same desire I did? And what would be so wrong with that? It’s only natural. It certainly was for me. Señora Isabel! I see you there amongst the spectators, after all your daughter is the reason I’m here! How many of you actually thought about what it specifically was that pushed me to cross that threshold from morbid curiosity into action. After all, everyone here surely has their own threshold of what they can endure before acting. Well, for me, Señora Isabel, it was that pathetic girl of yours that pushed me past mine, your daughter Luisa. How pathetic she was, thinking she could ever have someone like me, but oh she was persistent too, with all her romantic gestures, what was she thinking? She had it all the wrong way round. I remember one day upon arriving home, I found her waiting with a bouquet of flowers and bread she’d baked in my house. All I could think of when I saw this was how ugly she looked, I slapped the flowers out of her hands and kicked her out of my house and ate the bread. I’d hoped she’d get the message after that, but she didn’t, she kept offering these ridiculous and undesired gifts, how incredibly pathetic, all because I’d been kind to her a single time long ago. I began imagining with my morbid curiosity that it be her eyes that I watched life slip away from. And as you know, the next time I found her in my house, I strangled her to death. That was the best thing she ever did for me. Now what you don’t know, what none of you know, is that my work didn’t stop there. Señora Isabel, do you remember your other daughter Clara falling ill around the same time, I’m sure you do, perhaps you attributed it to mania resulting from her sisters death, that would be a reasonable explanation. It’s wrong though. Still, the illness was a result of my actions, you see, I poisoned her, I snuck into your house and swapped your wine with a poisoned bottle, why didn’t you drink any yourself though, were you not grieving Luisa’s death too? Luisa had given me such enjoyment when she died that I found myself desiring more, and who better than Clara to satisfy that urge. Unfortunately her death didn’t have the same effect, in short, poisoning lacked the intimacy of strangling. I would’ve returned to strangling if Luisa’s body hadn’t been discovered and I’d been arrested. But now everyone gathered here must be thinking what a sick man I am, you all must agree that I no doubt deserve death. But is that really fair? I killed two, yet only my one life is being taken in return, I shall leave this world having made a profit while leaving you all rather unsatisfied, surely you want more to be made of me, but the law is clear and while I chose not to follow it, it still follows me and I benefit from its benevolence. A clean and quick execution as punishment for the prolonged suffering I’ve caused. Farewell my brethren.”


For a moment, Silvestre felt there, out under the warmth of Spanish sun, standing upon the wooden scaffolds as he delivered his monumental speech. A great grin stretched across his face as he imagined the crowds screaming and shouting, demanding more be done. In his mind they were rabid, saliva whipped out from their lips as they lost all composure, they were now more a akin to a pack of wild dogs. All the while Silvestre stood with an air of arrogance. But this glorious scene soon melted away as he heard the guards approaching with their rattling keys and footsteps which echoed through the hall. They unlocked his cell and directed him into a carriage with barred windows, there were two others chained up in there too, no one said a word the entire journey. When they arrived at the gallows, they saw the three nooses ominously waiting for them. However, Silvestre only felt annoyance that he’d have to share the stage with two others believing they'd diminish his glorious moment. A great crowd of people had gathered and Silvestre grinned as he spotted Señora Isabel among them. All three marched up and placed their head in their allocated noose. They stood atop the wooden trapdoor waiting for the processions to begin. The officials gave their speeches to which Silvestre paid no attention, his focus was strictly on the crowd who seemed energized and excited, he watched them muttering comments to one another while they looked directly at him too, and every so often they’d burst out laughing, each time he spotted this happening, his annoyance grew, wait until they hear what I have to say, he thought. Finally the officials managed to draw his attention upon hearing them say to the first prisoner, “Antón López, you stand guilty of murder, your sentence is death by hanging, do you have any last words?”, the little man said nothing and so the official continued to the second man, “Tomas Pérez, you stand guilty of murder, your sentence is death by hanging, do you have any last words?”

“I am sorry for what I’ve done, god please have mercy, forgive me for my sins. I repent.”, the man burst into tears as the crowd erupted into laughter.

Finally, it is time, I shall make this place roar with rage. No one here has a clue what’s about to happen.

“Silvestre Vela, you stand guilty of murder, your sentence is death by hanging, do you have any last words?”

Oh I certainly do.

“So you’ve all gathered here three years later to watch me die…”

Crack! Something had broken and the trapdoor beneath the three men had prematurely swung open. Silvestre dangled there, frantically kicking his legs as he swung around, he still attempted to continue his speech, but that was an exercise in futility, he looked like a fish gasping for air as he silently mouthed the words of his speech. It truly was a ridiculous sight and all so comically timed too, the last thing that man saw as his vision faded to black were the crowds pointing and laughing hysterically. So it goes like this?

December 10, 2021 22:12

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

2 comments

Felice Noelle
20:54 Dec 16, 2021

Jarrod: Wow, you provided some of my favorite story elements to read, historical fiction with a little Edgar Allen Poe mixed with a smidgen of Gabriel Garcia Marquez. You delivered. A picky editor would find some run on sentences and some ideas that might have been more forceful if written with action verbs. Ex.:like near the end Something broke and the trapdoor snapped open ...Also see if you can find some places to break in a lengthy paragraph and begin a new one. Give each its own breathing space. The new generations of readers, y...

Reply

Jarrod V
04:06 Dec 17, 2021

Thanks Maureen! I appreciate the detailed feedback. I'm always grateful for constructive criticism. This is the first writing I've submitted anywhere so I'm glad you liked it. But yes, looking at it I realise some of those sentences do linger on a little too long. Yeah it is entirely fiction hahaha. The 1800s are my favourite period for literature so I'll definitely check A Hanging at Owl Creek Bridge out.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.