Brain Waves

Returning to her childhood bedroom made Sophie feel like she was examining the prototype of a familiar technology. The bookshelves were lined with paperbacks organized alphabetically by author. Plastic dance trophies topped with gold ballerinas were perched on top of her dresser. A gigantic corkboard was mounted over her bed with achievements and memories pinned to every surface. Ribbons from the math team and medals from the science team hung next to photos of Sophie and her friends posing during competitions or dressed up for homecoming.

The oldest photo on the corkboard had faded after over a decade. It was pinned to the top left corner partially obscured by science fair ribbons, but when Sophie touched it, she could feel its energy vibrating beneath her fingertips. Four girls - Sophie, Nikki Scott, Daniella Wu, Beth Silva - were beaming at the camera, while two boys - Aaron Logan and Mikey Walsh - were crouching in front of them with their tongues sticking out. Stacks of waffles and bottles of syrup were visible on the table behind them. Mikey Walsh had a trail of chocolate smeared up his cheek.

The elementary school gifted program, the Brain Waves, participated in special activities, but the end-of-the-year breakfast was sacred. Mrs. O’Ryan would bring in waffle makers in the shape of hearts and Mickey Mouse ears. She always included mini chocolate chips, and she always brought in real maple syrup.

During breakfast, she would give out the Brain Waves superlatives, which would reference something that happened during the year: Most Likely to Host a Talk Show (Daniella, after she turned her book report into an Oprah-style talk show complete with character interviews and audience give-aways); Most Likely to Become a Mad Scientist (Aaron, after donning a frizzy wig and goggles to present his invention, the electronic cheese grater), Most Likely to Get their Driver's License First (Beth, after piloting an RC car through an obstacle course with precision and panache).

Once they had finished eating, all the students would stand up and say what their future plans were. Nikki’s was always the same: she was going to go to Harvard and become a lawyer.

Sophie bit her lip. The kids in the photo were only fifth graders, but they smiled like they had the world at their fingertips. For them, school was easy and their creativity was boundless. They didn’t know the danger of being told you’re gifted is that you start to believe that it will always be this way. The danger of being treated like you’re special is that you start to believe you will always get special treatment.

Her phone buzzed, making her jump. A message from Daniella: Omw, can’t wait to see y’all. Brain Waves forever!

The knot in Sophie’s stomach tightened. When Daniella started planning a reunion, she expected it to fall through at every turn. How can anyone get six twenty-somethings together around Christmas? Apparently, Daniella could - or maybe Sophie misjudged everyone’s enthusiasm. Maybe nostalgia was more powerful than she thought.

This is gonna be weird, she thought as she yanked a sweater over her head. She wasn’t jazzed about seeing Aaron but whatever, they were both adults. Meeting up with the rest of the group, though…. They used to be thick as thieves. It’s easy to become friends when you are one of the handful of gifted students in elementary school. It’s harder to stay friends when your pool of six gets expanded into a class of twenty-five in middle school. It’s almost impossible when there are five times as many students in your grade taking advanced classes in high school. She wasn’t going to meet up with her old pals from elementary school - she was going to meet up with strangers.

And at this point, the biggest stranger was Nikki Scott.

Sophie swallowed hard. Despite the Brain Waves drifting apart, she and Nikki remained friends. In middle school, they swapped mystery novels and daydreamed about starting their own detective agency: Sophie was better at finding clues, but Nikki was better at shaking down hostile witnesses. They made up installments for a comic book following the adventures of a shy boy forcibly befriended by a group of extroverts: Nikki would be in charge of illustrating, Sophie would be in charge of editing. They doodled on each other’s folders: Nikki teasing Sophie for her years-long crush on Aaron Logan, Sophie cheering Nikki on in her dream of being a lawyer.

Whenever they were partners on school projects, their pairing carried the weight of a political alliance. Their skits were complete with props, quick-change costumes, and regional accents. Their science fair posters had LED lights. For their report on the Columbian Exposition, they built a replica of the Palace of Fine Arts and a working Ferris wheel to demonstrate the architectural achievements of the time. Sophie remembered all the tubs of Play-Doh they had used and shuddered. The smell still made her feel a little sick.

They weren’t just friends, weren’t just best friends - together, they were magnetic. Beyond being on the same wavelength, they were the only two on that wavelength.

God, what happened? Sophie wondered as she pulled on her boots and headed out to her car. She slipped her keys into the ignition and hit the road, letting her mind wander back to the beginning of the end.

The jump between middle school to high school was bigger than the jump from elementary school to middle school. In high school, no one was particularly impressed that she read Animal Farm over the summer. Her teacher handed back an essay with a comment scrawled in red: Semicolons are best used sparingly. They often don’t need to be used at all. Her heart sank when she got a B on her first biology test.

She was flailing. She had always been at the top of the class, along with Nikki. But now? Whatever effort she put in middle school wasn’t good enough. She had to step it up.

Nikki found Sophie’s panic amusing. “You need to relax,” she said with an eye roll. “Things aren’t that different.”

“Do you want to study for the math test tonight?” Sophie asked.

“Ugh, no. It’s on Friday. We got the study guide today. Are you nuts?”

Sophie shrugged. “A head start can’t hurt.” 

“I still need to read and do vocabulary for English. I’ll deal with math on Thursday.”

“Didn’t you have all week to do English?”

“So what?” snapped Nikki. “I also have theater crew after school. Aren’t you going? You said you would.”

“I….” Sophie trailed off. “I was going to go to the science team meeting. Didn’t you say you were interested?”

Nikki groaned and rolled her head back.

“Geez, sorry. Let me know if you change your mind about math.”

But Nikki didn’t change her mind about math, and she didn’t come to school on Friday either. Sophie and Aaron glanced at each other as the exams were handed out. Was Nikki okay?

“I was sick,” Nikki scoffed the following Monday. “It happens, whatever.”

But Nikki wasn’t in school the day their book reports were due in English. She wasn’t in school the day of their biome presentations in biology. She wasn’t in school the day they turned in their research papers in history.

“Big Spanish test today,” Aaron said, kissing Sophie’s cheek. “How much do you wanna bet that Nikki won’t show up?”

Sophie smacked his arm with her notebook. “That isn’t funny.”

Aaron held up his hands. “Whoa, whoa - I’m sorry, okay? But you gotta admit, it’s really suspicious.”

“It…is.” She looked down and picked at a hangnail. “I don’t really know what’s up with her anymore.” Trying to make plans was like pulling teeth - any time Sophie asked, Nikki would be busy. “She’s hanging out a lot with the older theater kids.”

“Yeah, they’re in my brother’s grade.”

“Are they like…this?”

Aaron shook his head. “I don’t think so. They spend a lot of time doing crew work, like building sets or making costumes.” He looked over his shoulder and leaned in. “Look, keep it quiet, but Nikki’s been missing a lot of classes and is struggling to catch up. Without a doctor’s note, the teachers aren’t buying how often she’s ‘sick.’ Miss Wagner is giving her one last shot.”

“What do you mean?” 

“If she passes the next exam, she can still pass the class. Otherwise, they won’t let her take sophomore history…and this is probably the case with her other classes, too.”

“Geez,” Sophie exhaled, resting her head on Aaron’s shoulder. “She never told me anything.”

“I don’t think she wants people to know, especially not you.”

She looked up. “Me? But I’m her friend.”

“I mean….” Aaron winced. “You guys were always number one and two in the class. It’s probably embarrassing to go from that to needing help…from you.” He touched her cheek. “Look, why don’t you organize a group study session and invite Nikki? She might accept help if it’s not obviously for her.”

That study session was the last time she spoke to Nikki.

Sophie pulled into a parking spot in front of Daisy’s Pancake House and hurried inside. Before she could say a word to the hostess, Daniella stood up at the table and waved her arms.

“Sophie! You came!” Daniella engulfed her in a hug. As Sophie began to pull away, Daniella leaned in. “Thanks for being cool with this,” she whispered.

Sophie shrugged. “All in the past, right?”

“Exactly - Brain Waves forever! How have you been?”

“I’m fine,” Sophie said, taking a seat next to Beth. “How are you?”

“I’m great! I’ve just been catching up with Beth and the boys.”

Aaron gave Sophie a small smile and a wave. She felt her neck flush as she lifted her hand in response.

“I guess we’re waiting on - oh, there’s Nikki!”

Sophie inhaled sharply and the heat leapt from her neck to her ears. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she turned around. Nikki had grown out her mousy hair and was wearing thick frames, but aside from that, she hadn’t changed much from high school.

Daniella squealed and gave Nikki a hug. “Everyone’s here! Let’s order!”

Soon, everyone had stacks of chocolate chip waffles, and they began to chat about life after high school. Daniella had taken a job in HR (“I love onboarding new team members! Learning about everyone is the best part of the job.”), Beth had started nursing school (“Cadaver labs are kind of intense, but it’s going okay so far.”), Aaron was an actuary (“I mean…no one likes insurance.”), and Mikey had joined the Air Force (“Please, no Chair Force jokes.”).

Nikki was in the middle of a lot of things. “I’m taking this semester off - I was in biology and was going to transfer to a four-year university - but I might switch to the dental hygienist program. It’ll be easier to find a job, you know? My mom keeps trying to convince me to become a makeup artist. She says I have a real eye for it, but I said that was her dream, not mine.” She laughed and sipped her coffee. “So yeah, as long as I don’t have classes, I’ve just been picking up extra shifts. I’ve been thinking of starting a pet photography business on the side, though. I love taking pictures of my Coco, and people always tell me I have a knack for getting them to sit still.”

Daniella beamed. “That sounds so great, Nikki.” 

“What about you, Sophie?” asked Beth as she poured syrup on her waffles. “What have you been up to?”

She smiled back at Beth, but felt the weight of Nikki’s gaze on her. “I just started law school.”

“That’s awesome! Where?”

“Harvard.”

The air left the room. Sophie could hear Aaron choke a bit on his food and the thump thump of Mikey hitting his back, but she didn’t look away from Beth’s startled face.

“Congratulations!” Daniella finally exclaimed. “That’s so great!”

“Yeah,” echoed Nikki, her voice an octave higher than usual. “That’s…so great.”

They locked gazes. Nikki’s eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. Her mouth was puckered into a tight line, and her nostrils were flaring. 

“Thank you,” Sophie replied. 

God, was this the first time they had said anything since….

Freshman year, the night before Miss Wagner’s big history test, Sophie, Aaron, and a few others gathered at Nikki’s house. They went through the study guide, collaborating on answers and clearing up confusion. By the end, Nikki was making history puns and was coming up with ways to remember dates. Her high spirits gave Sophie hope that maybe she could get back on the right track.

Maybe their friendship could get back on the right track, too. After the rest of the group packed up their binders and went home, she, Aaron, and Nikki stayed back, complaining about teachers and gossipping about students. She and Nikki were giggling at Aaron’s impressions of the principal when Nikkie caught her eye and winked. It felt just like it had years ago, just like it had for years. Maybe they could just pick up where they left off? Finish this school year and come back for a fresh start?

“Oh, it’s late,” Sophie said, glancing at her watch. “Can I borrow your phone?”

“Sure,” said Nikki. “There’s one in my room.”

Sophie closed the bedroom door, dialed home, and asked her mom to pick her up. Hanging up the phone, she looked around. It had been a few months since she had been inside Nikki’s room, and it had been redecorated in that time. Posters for The Phantom of the Opera and The Rocky Horror Picture Show were on the walls, mixtapes with handwritten track lists were scattered on top of the dresser, and even the digital alarm clock was new, replacing the silver-belled mechanical clock won in a Brain Waves puzzle challenge. Things were just foreign enough to make Sophie feel unwelcome.

She heard a scuffle in the hallway, snapping her out of her thoughts, and headed over to the door. Just as she put her hand on the door knob, she heard Nikki’s stifled giggle and a low, “Shhhh….”

Sophie pressed her ear to the doorway. She heard Nikki giggle again, a sound she knew so well that she could identify it in her sleep. “She’s gonna see us….”

Sophie’s heart jumped into her throat. She kept her breathing as steady as possible as she crouched down to look through the keyhole. She couldn’t see their faces, but these were people she knew since childhood. She didn’t need to see their faces.

All she could see, all she needed to see, were Aaron’s arms wrapped around a squirming Nikki, who broke free with another giggle. She turned back to him and stood on her tiptoes. Sophie could hear the sucking noise as their lips broke apart.

She stood up and felt the blood rush to her head. She saw stars as she stumbled over to Nikki’s bed and sat down, her hand over her mouth to keep from crying or throwing up - she was equally sure she would do both. Screwing her eyes shut, she tried to focus on her breathing: inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

A knock on the door sent her leaping off the bed.

“Sophie? Everything okay in there?”

She gasped and pressed her hand against her heart, feeling it about to burst out of her chest. She looked at the phone - but who would she call? Her mom was on her way. Another friend? No, she needed to get out of here.

Her eyes fell from the phone to the alarm clock, illuminating the bedside table with red digits.

Another knock. “Sophie?”

Before she could reconsider, she reached out and flipped the switch on the back of the clock from ‘On’ to ‘Off.’ 

The door opened, and Nikki poked her head in. “Sophie? You okay?”

Sophie looked over and nodded. “Yeah. Everything is fine.”

Sophie got to school the next day and made her way to class. First period was history with Miss Wagner. As the exams were handed out, Nikki’s chair was empty, as per usual. What wasn’t usual was Nikki bursting into class halfway through the period, hair uncombed, tears streaming down her face. Miss Wagner handed her a test and Nikki slunk into her chair, scribbling answers and sniffling.

After a school year of suspiciously well timed absences, Miss Wagner was not sympathetic to Nikki’s new excuse that her alarm didn’t go off. She refused Nikki’s pleas to reschedule the test, and graded what she turned in at the end of the period.

Nikki didn’t pass, didn’t move onto sophomore classes. She was dropped from the advanced program, and Sophie didn’t see her again.

Didn’t see her, that is, until today.

When they were done eating, Daniella whipped out a folder. “It’s not a Brain Waves breakfast without superlatives! I didn’t know what everyone was up to, but I do now!” She cleared her throat. “For Beth…Sweetest Future Life Saver!” She filled in the certificate and handed it over.

“For Aaron…Fastest Future Human Computer! For Mikey…Bravest Future Maverick!”

“Maverick was in the Navy,” he muttered to Aaron before accepting the certificate with a strained smile.

“For Nikki…Coolest Future Pet Photographer! And for Sophie…Smartest Future Lawyer!”

“What kind of law did you want to do?” Beth asked as Sophie took her certificate.

“I was thinking of constitutional law,” she said. “I’d like to become a judge.”

“A judge!” exclaimed Daniella. “Sophie, I think you’d make an excellent judge.”

Sophie smiled. “Yeah. I think I’d be a pretty good judge too.”