Time in Hell

            Time in Hell

Suzanne Marsh

Life has not been good to me; I sit here on death row wondering when my last meal will. Why am I paying for a crime, I did commit. The cell is six feet by nine feet by nine and a half feet, there is a thin mattress, steel sine, toilet and small table for writing. I am doing my time in hell, hell where I sit in this cell twenty-three hours a day. I read; I write a few letters. I was a normal street walker until Jack Donner entered my life. Jack was a conniving man, with a great smile, and big ideas on how to become rich quickly. That was all I wanted was a little extra cash to enjoy life with. Just how did I get to this point on death row?

Jack wanted us to have baby, I thought since I was eighteen it would be a simple thing to, I become pregnant. I did become pregnant, but I miscarried, we tried again and once again I miscarried. It was at this time that Jack started changing, he wanted to rob a convenience store we needed money now. We began to plan, there was a small store, not more than a block from our apartment. We could rob it then get out of town. We could live well in another state or even a big city. That was a great plan, except the convenience store only kept five hundred dollars in the floor safe. It got us out of town, but that was all it did. I still had this idea that if we robbed a bank, we could live in Mexico, where no one would know us.

Jack, decided to rob the National Bank, he said we could become the next Bonnie and Clyde, fool that I was I thought that was a fantastic idea. I could picture myself as Bonnie Parker and Jack would make a great Clyde. We began our spree outside of Chicago, the bank we hit had over a million dollars in the vault. We grabbed it and ran. We decided to lay low while the law searched for us, we hid in a small Vermont town for over a year.

We traveled to Mexico, then entered the United States through Eagle Pass, Texas. Texas was Bonnie and Clyde’s old stomping grounds, I smiled at the customs inspector as thought about what it would be like to be Bonnie Parker. I did not think about the fact that she was only twenty-three when she was killed by the Texas Rangers, in Louisiana. I was the same age as Bonnie, nineteen when I met Jack who was twenty-one at the time. The car we were driving was a 1976 Corvette, which we had stolen while we were in Mexico. The Mexican authorities wanted us, but we drove right over the border, no one stopped us.

I sit here in this cell, with pen in hand, it is time I finished setting the record straight, why I am one of the few women on death row. I am twenty-nine years old now, I have been on death row since I was twenty-two, for a heinous crime I committed. This is my story, there is a reporter who promised that she would read my letter, maybe even turn it into a movie. It won’t make any difference anyway where I am going. My true story begins when Jack and I returned to the United States, Texas is a big place, but not big enough to get lost in. Not anymore at any rate. Our first bank robbery after coming to Texas was a snap, we walked in the teller gave us several bags of dollar bills and we left. That was when our reputation began as the next Bonnie and Clyde. I remember that red corvette, my hair blowing in the wind, free as anyone can ever be. The corvette will always hold fond memories, it was in the corvette that I shot the first bank guard, actually the first person I murdered. Jack told me to kill him since he could identify the corvette. The FBI was called in when we crossed over into Oklahoma. We hid there for a while, in that time I found myself pregnant. Jack was not pleased but he watched as the began to put on weight. The baby, a tiny little girl was born and died before she even had a chance to live.

When the doctor, that Jack had kidnapped at gun point told him the child died he held my hand and said maybe it was for the best. I think maybe it was. After I recovered from the baby, we returned to Texas. We robbed several more banks, fortunately no one was killed.

I felt the acute loss of my child, just as any mother would. I wanted a baby, Jack’s baby. Then one gray afternoon as we were tooling along, I noticed a young woman who was obviously about ready to give birth. I pleaded with Jack to stop, I wanted the child, he wanted to know what I intended to do.

I told him, I wanted to cut the child out of her, this would be our baby. He stopped the car; I hid in some bushes near where she was walking. I grabbed her, pulled her into the bushes. I had a Bowie knife with me. I made diagonal cut, and extracted the baby, as the young woman lay bleeding out. I quickly wrapped the baby in my blue sweatshirt, it was a little girl.

That night Jack and I held our baby, we fed her, and put her to sleep singing a lullaby. The news was on television about the young mother who was murdered while taking a walk. The Texas Rangers, and local police were searching for a suspect. They flashed a picture of the young woman, she had long blond hair, blue eyes and a sweet smile. That picture will haunt me the rest of my days here on death row.

Jack and I were arrested coming out of a convince store by a Texas Ranger, his name was Bill Corbett. I will pay the ultimate price for murder; my execution is tonight at midnight. I want to apologize to the family of the young woman whose life I took. My only thought now is that God have mercy on my soul.