We... Are Alone

“We’re not alone… We… are not… alone.” The Right Reverend Abel Zachariah’s voice boomed throughout the majestic glass and marble Hall of American Righteousness mega-church. 

“That’s what the news media will tell you. That’s what the talking heads and the local news rags will tell you, won’t they? We… are not… alone.” He paused to take a sip of water for dramatic effect. “Let me assure you, brothers and sisters, We… are alone.”

“When I was being raised up in rural Alabama, heck, it was excitin’ to think of flyin’ saucers and little green men and princesses from outer space, now wasn’t it?” A few heads in the crowd nodded. Two or three affirmations were voiced.

“Over the campfire we’d scare one another with tales of alien abductions and were fascinated at the grainy pictures of UFOs. As we grew older the tales became those of secret government programs, alien autopsies, and otherworldly beings that walk amongst us.”

“I want y’all to ponder on that for a moment. Otherworldly beings that walk amongst us.” He walked away from the podium and back, exaggerating a gesture with hands raised shoulder height, eyebrows raised, looking left and right at the crowd.

“What you mean Reverend Abel, you might ask. Well, think about it for a moment. If there were aliens… space people, which walk amongst us… wouldn’t that mean they look like us?” Several shouts of ‘yes’ were heard and many nodded in the crowd.

“I don’t have to remind you folks of something you all know. Man is created in God’s image. You learned this, like I did, in Bible School. It’s just a basic fact. I’d like for you to consider now, that if there were to be space people that walk amongst us, that look like us, might they not also walk with God, like we do?

He took another sip of water. A longer one this time to let what he’d just said sink in. “I know you have all seen the video of the spaceship landing on the White House lawn just this week. I can’t imagine anyone in America not seeing that video by now. They will tell you it was the greatest moment in Human history. They will crow about the scientific project that brought the aliens here.”

“When that door opened and those space people walked out, did we see otherworldly beings that look like us, that could walk amongst us?”

Half the crowd answered with a resounding “No!”

He slapped his hand on the podium. “That’s right. What we saw was grey creatures, monsters really, with itty bitty bodies and giant heads. They had oversized solid black eyes that would look more at home on a snake than on a Human. Since WE are created in God’s image, are those God’s eyes?”

Gasps and then a thunderous “No!” came from the crowd.

“Does God have an itty bitty body like that?”

“No!”

“Is God’s skin grey?”

“No!”

“That’s right, brothers and sisters. God looks like us… we look like God. It’s a fact and we all know it. It’s one of the first things the Bible says. These space people do not resemble us, do not resemble God, so that means it is impossible for them to walk with God.” A murmur went through the assemblage.

“Again, I am going to ask you to ponder something… If they do not walk with God, who DO they walk with?”

“Satan!” “Lucifer!” “Beelzebub!” Came answers from the crowd.

“That’s right. Agents of Satan now freely walk the Earth. And let me be very clear about something, the doors to the White House and to Congress itself, are being swung wide open for these aliens. They are being wined and dined. Is that what we want?”

The crowd begins to stand. Fists begin pumping the air. “No!”

“That’s right! Those aliens have landed in Beijing and Moscow and other big cities around the world. In all those places it’s the same – the red carpet treatment. Well I am here to say… You can lead those other places down the road to ruin, but not in America you don’t!”

Another hand slam and then fist pumps from the podium as the crowd began a jubilant cheer of “USA… USA.”

“Make no mistake, brothers and sisters, these aliens have come here to change your life. It will start out small. Maybe it will be a food you are no longer allowed to eat, and in its place something scientific the space people think would be better for you.”

Cries of “No” and “Never” erupt from the crowd.

“Next, maybe you will be told what to wear or what you are not allowed to say…”

“Not me” and “F those aliens” were voiced through the Hall.

Nods and points from the podium to members of the crowd began to fuel the fire. “Before you know it, your children will be forced to worship the alien God!” A forceful slap of the hand to the podium emphasized the last point.

The volume of the crowd exploded in a sea of expletives, anger and hate. As a frenzy of hysteria washed through the crowd, Reverend Abel basked in the fear. After few moments he began moving his hands up and down in a soothing gesture. “There is hope. There is hope.”

“Maybe you are here in our splendid Hall (cheers erupt from the crowd), or one of its campuses across the country. Be you in your home listening on the many radio stations blessed with spreading the Word, or on the internet watching this broadcast, one thing is universally true. Take out your wallet and look inside.”

Reverend Abel’s voice softened. “Whether you take out a one, a twenty, or even a hundred dollar bill. You will see something on every bill that unites all Americans.” Pulling a twenty from his pocket, he unfolded it and held it high above his head as if wielding a banner of righteousness.

“In God We Trust. That’s right, In God… We Trust. Do you think those aliens have money in their pockets that says, In God We Trust?”

“No!”

“It’s not a coincidence that America is God’s favored nation. I must tell you brothers and sisters, now more than ever, America needs us. God needs us. The fight for the very soul of America began this week when those aliens stepped off that ship and walked right into the White House like they owned the place.”

“It is going to take more money than we have ever raised to fight this Battle for America. Today I am asking you to give more than ever before. It is a fact that what you give will be returned tenfold, we all know that. But… what is the soul of America worth? What will you give for America?”

Once again, the crowd begins chanting, this time at a fevered pitch, “USA… USA… USA… USA…”

“Brothers and sisters… I am asking… no…” Reverend Abel took a few steps away from the podium, peeled off the jacket of his five thousand dollar suit, leaving it to fall to the floor, and dropped to his knees with arms up, face toward the Heavens. “I am begging you.”

Tears began to flow down his cheeks, “Help me save America. Help me save America. Oh please, help me save America from the Godless aliens. We are the only ones that can save America. God is depending on us.”  

Cameras panned across the crowd at the Hall of American Righteousness. Many were crying, some stood with hands raised and prayed while others had moved to the aisles in order to be able to prostrate themselves and wail. All this going on while still in the background a chanting of “USA… USA…”

Rocking back and forth, Reverend Abel took care to speak slowly in order that his words were clear despite the crying. “It is only us… Only us… Please help me save America, please.”

“We… Are Alone.”