Tick, Tock...Boom

“John, wake up! It’s five a.m. We live on Planet Earth, not Mars. You can’t sleep all day!”

‘um’ was all Jocelyn got from her response.

“You’re going to make me fat John. I can smell the Steak all the way up here in the bedroom. You’ve got me eating Steak and potatoes for breakfast…again!”

“No…no, Joce. I’m sorry… I didn’t make potatoes with this dish. Please, I just fell asleep not too long ago. I’m really tired.”

John pulled the covers over his head and in a question muffled by the covers he asked his girlfriend if she tried his new recipe yet, Steak au Poivre, “It’s missing something. Can you do a taste test for me?” And with a sleepy sigh, John was deep in sleep. “No, I can’t! It’s five o’clock in the morning, John!”

Jocelyn was still in her pajama bottoms and a tank top. She had already brushed her teeth, drank a bottle of water, and was preparing her coffee. To be madly in love with a chef was killing her goal to lose weight. They had been living together for three years and Jocelyn felt like she had gained ten pounds every year.

The first year she knew it to be true. Twenty pounds! She screamed a bloody hurl that had John slipping across the pinewood dining room floor to check on her. He found her in the bathroom just exiting the scale.

“Babe, Babe! What? What happened?”

“Twenty pounds is what happened!”

“What?”

“Twenty pounds, John!”

“Where? You look beautiful, babe. You’re as gorgeous and scrumptious as the day I met you.”

“Twenty pounds, John,” she pouted. “You’re making me fat.” Jocelyn started to feel a little insecure when she looked up from her belly at John in his boot-cut jeans, hugging his waist perfectly with a slight sag that read, ‘I’m too sexy for these jeans’. His Chinese collar cooking jacket and short sleeve shirt were open to reveal his eight-pack. It wasn’t even a six pack she thought to herself. He had to go and get an eight-pack. You can’t even buy an eight-pack at the local beer store. It’s either a six or a twelve.

Jocelyn was still pouting, when she turned away to look at herself in the mirror. John, standing behind her gave her a huge round bear hug and began kissing her on the back of her neck.

“I made something light, fluffy, and delicious just for you. I added a touch of asiago and chives to the cooking process. I could use my little…and sexy, taste tester. I’ll whip you up some eggs and polish sausage to go with it.”

“Is this dinner? It’s dinner time, John.”

“Dinner, schminner! it’s a loaf of light and fluffy Polish potato bread. Get comfortable. Pull your hair back and I’ll run and make you some eggs and sausage.”

By nine-thirty p.m., Jocelyn couldn’t keep her eyes open another minute. John was at the kitchen table with his laptop and his notepad. It was intense. He had a very important catering gig this coming weekend at The Claridge House. A house more like a Mansion or a Castle built and maintained for the elite of elites. She kissed John on his cheek, said she was going to bed, and ‘um’ was all she heard as she slumbered out of the kitchen.

A kiss on the cheek, a peck in the morning before she left for her dull job as a financial numbers pusher. Jocelyn was a Broker for a very large; heavily capitalized Hedge Fund. Dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner. When was the last time they had sex? John wouldn’t wake up in the mornings because he was up cooking all night. My dreams were of floating broccoli and stuffed green peppers. A swimming pool full of exotic Swedish pastries and plants that grew the Nipples of Venus.

There were those days when life was like those revolving doors. I’m just getting in, late from a day of market hell in a hand basket and John was putting the last pan of fish stuffed with crab and salmon with his famous secret sauce into the back of his SUV. The smell was unmistakable as it was one of my favorite dishes. Demetri, his assistant, and driver, was loading the pots and pans, cooking utensils, and other gear onto the trailer.

“I left you plenty, darling. Kiss, kiss.” There it was, that peck on the cheek, out he goes, and in I go, exhausted from the day. I feel a sense of gratitude that I have a man who loves to cook. I’m sure I have forgotten how to even boil an egg since John and I decided to move in together.

I kicked off my heels and avoided the wonderful smells permeating from the kitchen. It was going to be a long weekend, four days to be exact since Monday was going to be a banking holiday. I reveled in that thought and ran upstairs to get into his sweatpants and a super comfy long-sleeve tee. The evening had a lot of possibilities. One of them was not going out. I thought about a hot cup of tea and something sweet to eat. A good book to binge on for the weekend and a comfy blanket. With that, Jocelyn grabbed the latest book by John Irving, threw her body on the couch, and began to read.

Three chapters in, she was asleep. Dusk turned into a very dark night. There was no full moon and even the street lights were out. The house lights were out. Everything was out and the sound of the front door startled Jocelyn awake. “John?”

The banging was as loud as the thunder. Jocelyn could hear the wind whipping around from her living room window. The banging got louder and more incessant.

“What the…" Jocelyn rolled off the couch, her book falling to the floor, kicking the covers off her feet while still feeling the heaviness of her sleepy bones. Peeking through the oval window of her front door, she sighed, ‘The in-law’.

“How could you sleep through this weather? We’re only a block away and I swear I felt like I had to part the seas just to get here. I knew John was going to be out of town, so I wanted to keep you company.”

“You took a real chance coming out in this,” Jocelyn said.

“Well, I’m old enough to say, I am a bit terrified. This is nothing like I’ve seen in my life. Do you have candles or some flashlights? We need light, darling!”

Madge Becker, John’s mother was soaking wet and she did look terrified. “Madge, it’s okay. It’s just a thunderstorm. It will pass.” Madge shook her head emphatically. “No, this is a hurricane. This is that global warming thing everybody has been shouting about and shit is flying all over the place. Trees are bending over, back and forth…back and forth and popping like rubber bands!” Madge could be a little dramatic. I opened the front door again, wide enough to really feel the weather and the wind almost slammed me backward. Damn! For once, the in-law was right.

I ran barefoot in the dark to get the flashlights out of the kitchen drawer and ran back to the living room. Madge was still standing in the foyer, shivering. I fumbled around in the dark for my cover, threw it around the in-law, and led her to the couch. She was visibly afraid. I sat down beside her, put my arm around her shoulders, and turned on the three torches. “It’ll be fine, Madge. We’ll sit this one out together.”

Madge started crying, “No, Jocelyn. No, I…I don’t think this is going to be all right. This is all wrong. Something is not right.” Her crying was really deep. It was a mother’s cry and it made me think about John and his trip to the castle. Could she be feeling something else? My brain started concocting all sorts of scenarios. The lights were out, no way to get any news. Phones were down and there was no reception for cellphones either. There was no way for me to reach John. I started shivering. I wanted to shake these thoughts from my mind. It’s been a half hour and it felt like things were getting worse outside. I could hear the trees every so often whipping in and hitting my living room window. Maybe we should get to the basement. Maybe we should huddle in the bathtub.

Madge had finally cried herself into a light sleep. Her head slumped on my shoulder. She would half wake when debris would hit some parts of the house, the roof, or the window.

Three hours and finally things had calmed down a little. Madge was lying comfortably on the couch, now fast asleep. I put a pillow under her head, made sure she was comfortable, and paced the floors waiting for the lights to come on or the phones or the cellphones to start working again. I needed to hear from John. I needed to know he was okay. I peeked out the front door. The rain was coming down in buckets. It was still lightning, but no thunder. The wind had settled a bit, but it looked like World War III out there.

I was heading to the kitchen when I heard the front door. John!

“John,” I screamed and started running back towards the foyer.

“Joce! Jocelyn!”

“Johnny? Oh, my boy! You’re here!”

“Mother?”

I was about to rush into John’s arms when Madge had jumped across the couch despite her sixty-odd years and body-hugged her only boy. I stood behind her and waited. John was smiling, even though he was wet and disheveled, he winked at me. I was relieved. “How…what happened?” I asked, keeping my body pressed close to John. He led me and his mother to the couch to explain.

The event had already been canceled before he even got to the bridge, which had been closed due to the rising water, then as he and Demetri were coming back they drove straight into the storm. They had pulled over to the side of the road to try and wait it out. When it got really bad, they thought maybe they should find some shelter.

They started out again and a wind gust picked up and flipped the trailer and dragged the truck with all the food in it to the side of the road and into a ditch. They got out safely and ran for the nearest cover they could find. Demetri did the praying while John was hoping for a miracle…and a Ranger SUV slowed and waved them over. It was one of those storm chasers, who decided this was not the storm to chase and was heading back our way.

“Do you realize what was going through my head?” Jocelyn cried.

“No, babe, but I could only imagine.”

“I miss you! I never get to see you. We hardly have sex, because we never see each other…” —John’s mother put her hands over her ears— “What if I had lost you? I need you. I need more time with you. I love you…I miss you!” Jocelyn started to cry tears of joy and sadness. John held her tight and through his wet and muddied shirt she said, “I quit!” John looked down at her puzzled, and so was Madge. “I’m quitting my job at the Hedge fund. I’d rather have you, time with you than all the money in the world.”

John laughed, Madge sighed, the lights came back on in a flickering sort of way and they all sat down to a cold stuffed fish dinner.