Always Too Late

TW: Allusions of past abuse, profanity, character death.

“Fuck!” 

The door jingled slightly as they tugged at it, trying to open it even though the sign through the glass door said “CLOSED” in large red lettering. Seeing them struggling, an elderly woman opened the door. Her hair was mainly white, with streaks of grey poking through her small bun of hair at the back of her head. 

“Good evening ma'am. My name is Sunny Adams. I had an interview scheduled for 11:30?” The woman peeked at a damaged antique watch that sat atop her right wrist. 

“It’s 12:15.” 

“I know, I know. But I really need this job, please.” 

The woman looked at them for a moment. They looked about twenty years old, and their hair had been dyed, one side being black, and the other a light blonde color. Their skin was pale and their build was lanky, their black and white striped shirt slightly bulky over their thin frame. They wore large cargo pants, a large black chain decorating their right pocket, and large glossy platform boots poking out of the bottom of each pant leg. Their blue eyes had bags underneath them and they were dark from lack of sleep. The woman exhaled and held open the door for them to walk in. They smiled. 

“Thank you so much!” they said walking into the main area. 

The bakery was small, and its walls were painted with an old rose color that must have been popular decades ago. The tiles on the floor were a creme color, but had taken on more of a marble pattern due to wear and tear. Fake plants decorated the parlor in random sporadic corners, from ferns to small succulents on the bar counter. The trim of the counters was a bright gold hue, but pieces of the cover had been peeled off and small flecks lay on the ground. The woman moved behind the counter and grabbed a dainty teacup, pouring hot tea into the cup as Sunny sat in one of the chairs at the counter. She finished pouring and gently nudged the teacup in front of them. They peered down at the cup in front of them. It was a light blue tinted teacup, with green and orange buds and blooming flowers painted around the rim of it, gold encrusting the rim and top of the engraved handle. They reached down and took hold of the handle, blowing on the liquid before taking a sip. A small smile bloomed on their face, as they continued to take small sips, and the woman nodded approvingly sitting in front of them from behind the counter. 

“So, you want to work here do you?” 

“Yes ma’am” they replied in between sips. 

“Alright. If you’d like to work here, I’ll give you one more chance. How much experience do you have with making pastries?” 

Taking a sip too quickly, a small round of coughs escaped their throat, and they gently put the cup back down on the counter. 

“Well, um none,” they said, wiping their mouth with their sleeve. 

“None?” The woman sighed. “Well alright, I can’t have you work with the pastries just yet until you get enough experience, but you know how to make tea right?” 

“Um, yes ma’am. You put the tea bag in the water and serve it after removing it.”

“No, no, no, no, no. Here’s what I’ll do. Come in tomorrow at nine and I’ll show you everything you need to know, alright? But be here on time Mr…”

“Oh, actually I’m not a Mr. Just Sunny is fine.” 

“Alright Sunny, I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow  morning.”

Sunny exited the small bakery, munching on a small baked good the elderly woman had given him, and they smiled happily at the delicious gift. It was a small lemon cake, with marbled blueberry flavors. The top was decorated with white pearls and a pastel pink rose and stems, all made of icing. Sunny carefully took a bite and smiled giddily, it was delicious. As they walked home, they made sure to set an alarm for 8:00AM the next morning, making sure to set several for 8:45 and 8:50 just in case they slept through all the others. 

The alarm sounded, reverberating through the small apartment. Sunny winced at the sunlight coming in through the small window and went to turn off the alarm. Shit. 

12:45 P.M.

“How the fuck did that even happen?” Sunny shouted, flopping back on the bed. “I give up!” 

They lay in bed for a while, looking up at the ceiling and imagining different shapes in the speckled paint, as sirens wailed in the distance of the small city. Suddenly the phone rang, waking their reverie.  

“Hello?” Sunny replied groggily.

“Sunny! It’s so good to hear from you finally! How have you been?” Sunny winced at the bright voice on the other side of the line.

“I’ve been fine mom, do you need something?” 

“Oh no I was just calling to check in. I was wondering if my calls hadn't been coming in, I haven’t heard from you in so long dear! But anyway, I was calling because I wanted to let you know that we’re having roast chicken for dinner tomorrow night, your favorite! I’d love it if you finally visited us over here, we miss you!”

“Um, yeah maybe. Listen I’ve gotta go but I’ll see you around, okay?”

“Oh, well okay! Make sure to take care of yourself honey. And come visit soon, I really would like to see you.”

“Yeah, bye” Sunny said quickly, ending the call and tossing their phone onto the bed. They sighed. “When will she leave me alone about this? I left that hell hole for a reason” they thought, drifting off into a deep sleep once again. 

Darkness crept through the small window. From behind their heavy eyelids, Sunny could tell that it was probably well past seven o’clock, when the sun originally went down. Fighting the grogginess that swept over them, they slowly blinked open heavy eyes. A yawn escaped their mouth as they patted the area near them on the bed in search of the one device that could let them know what time it really was. Finally finding it near the corner of the bed almost about to fall off the edge, Sunny grabbed hold of it quickly and turned it on, gasping loudly. 1:54 AM. How was this much sleep even possible? Before they could even think about the possibilities as to how the hell they had slept that much, their stomach dropped. “Shit!” Leaping from the small bed they ran to a large backpack that was leaning against one of the apartment walls. They fumbled through papers, markers of every color, lipstick, and a portable charger. Finally finding a small tablet in one of the secret pockets, they hurriedly turned it on. 

“Come on, come on,” Sunny said, rushing the small cracked device. The screen blinked on dimly, and they quickly logged in, typing in the password as fast as the device would allow. The screen loaded and Sunny quickly clicked on the application for the University they had reopened time and time again. 

“No, no, no! This can’t be happening right now!” They shouted. The admission deadline had ended just several hours before, when Sunny had been sound asleep, at midnight. Tears pooled in their eyes, blurring Sunny’s vision of the small tablet he clutched until their fingers turned numb. “No,” they said quietly. Sunny clutched the tablet close to their stomach, huddling over as tears silently poured out of their eyes. This had been their chance to become an Animation major at their state University. Sunny had been watching the deadline for months, organizing and polishing off their portfolio, revising their entrance essay, and sending in their test scores-all for nothing. Tears wouldn’t stop pouring down Sunny’s cheeks, as they mourned the loss of something they had looked forward to for so long. As they lay back in their bed, they thought of all the ways today had gone wrong, and amidst the hours of sleep they had already gotten, Sunny fell asleep once again. 

Sunlight poured in through the shitty window, a sign that daylight had finally come once again. Even though yesterday to Sunny it had felt as if the world had ended in less than twenty four hours, surprisingly the universe had carried on, and another day began again. Sunny blinked open swollen eyes, the result of ceaseless crying before they finally fell asleep. A yawn escaped their mouth, and they began to cough endlessly from the lack of water Sunny had drank the day previously. They got up groggily from the bed, walking towards the main area of the apartment. In it, was a small couch placed against the wall, and an old kitchen to the right. Sunny grabbed the handle of the fridge and opened it, one water bottle left. Great. They’d have to go out today and get more, just what they needed. Sunny took a sip and then several big gulps, relishing the hydration the water provided. A small ding came from their phone in the bedroom, but Sunny ignored it. The ding went off again, and Sunny surrendered and checked the notifications. Several texts from their father read, “Get over here”, “Come home now”, and other variations of the same phrase. Tired of constantly being bombarded with orders, Sunny called up their father, hoping for a fight. The line rang for a few moments, and then the sound of someone picking up sounded on the other line. 

“What the hell is your problem?” Sunny shouted. “I’m sick and tired of you telling me what to do! I told you I’m not coming home!” 

The line on the other side was dead silent as Sunny screamed and yelled. Their father didn’t say a word, only listened, until they had worn themselves out from screaming and went silent for his reply. 

“Sunny. Come to San Antonio Hospital please” the voice said, breaking, before he quickly hung up.

“San Antonio hospital? Fuck you, I’m not going.” Sunny spat flopping on the couch in front of the television. They picked up the remote and flipped through shows and movies, trying to find something that caught their eye. There was a new thriller movie out, with some guy on the loose for murder. Boring. I’ve seen it all before. There was a new show about ghosts. How original. There was nothing interesting. A ringing sound reverberated from the couch cushion. Sunny grumpily looked through the cushions and grabbed a hold of their phone. It was dad again. 

“Fuck! Can I help you?” 

“Sunny, listen.” 

For some reason even though they hadn’t been interested in listening to their father before, his tone of voice made them listen immediately. 

“Please come visit the hospital, something” he started but his voice broke. “They found something odd about your mother’s regular check up at the doctor’s office. They’re sending her to the hospital to run further tests. It would be great if you could be there” he said, hanging up the phone once he realized Sunny wasn’t going to reply. Sunny didn’t go. 

The morning was cold, crisp, it was beautiful for a winter morning, but the emotions that surrounded Sunny were full of despair. Their hands grew cold in the wind, and they began to sting and grow numb from clutching the daisies they had in their hands. The snow crunched underneath their platforms, ice melting and turning brown from the dirt beneath their shoes. Their lungs turned to ice, breathing in and breathing out the frigid morning air. Their footsteps stopped in front of a large stone that read:

Maria Adams

1975-20XX

Mother and Caregiver for All

Sunny’s eyes began to cloud from the tears. They had been too late, again. Once they had gotten the initial phone call several days ago, things had gone quickly downhill. As Sunny’s father had explained, due to unusual bloodwork, the doctors decided they wanted to run further tests by sending her to the hospital. After arriving there, she quickly collapsed in the waiting room. Nurses and doctors attempted to revive her, but her heart had already stopped. No amount of CPR was effective. 

Sunny let go of the daisies in their hand, placing them inside an engraved silver vase next to the grave. Using their sleeve, they polished up the sides of it that were dirty from dirt and snow. There were a million different things going through their mind at that point. How could you not have listened? Dad had said to come to the hospital. Did it not occur to you that something was seriously wrong? What the fuck is wrong with you? Her own child couldn’t even be bothered to spend a few minutes on the phone with her? Now she’s gone forever. Sunny’s head spun from the thoughts, and their body ached. Their body had been aching for several days now, most likely the result of the cold front that had been coming through recently. Their heart hurt, physically and emotionally. The tears burned their face as they slid down their cheeks and the harsh, frigid, air hit them, turning them icy. Sunny realized this ache in their heart would probably never stop, and they relished in the peace that the darkness brought when they collapsed in the snow.