Silenced

Ethan woke up in that huge dark room. Even though he had been sleeping for hours, he was too tired to even move, so he just stayed still, laying in his bed while looking at the rooftop. It was always dark there since he would never open his curtains or windows and his room often made him feel really lonely because it was so quiet that he could even feel his breath. After a while, Ethan decided to get up. He made his bed and slowly walked towards his desk. He sat there and turned on the lights. There were quite a lot of books placed in one corner of his desk and a small red one in front of him. He slowly opened the book in the marked page and started reading. After a while, he heard the door opening and the voices of a woman and a man chatting. It was his beloved mum and his stepfather who just came home from work. He immediately closed the book, turned off the light and went to sit in the corner of his bedroom. Ethan looked scared and didn’t dare to move or make a sound.

His mum called him to come outside and with hesitation, he did so. As soon as he opened the door, he felt the eyes of his stepfather straight while piercing his heart, making him feel frightened. But Ethan didn’t look at him. He only looked at his mother, who with her warm smile was giving him strength to not fall apart and start crying. But she looked really happy. She looked happier than she was when she was with Ethan’s dad, so how could he destroy all that? But she didn’t know. Of course she didn’t know what was happening in that house, because if she knew, she wouldn’t let Ethan suffer alone. But at that moment, his only thought was that he loved seeing his mother happy. Mrs. Karin -that was his mother’s name- hugged him tightly and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

“Are you hungry Ethan? I am going to make something for you to eat.” She asked.

“It’s okay mum. I already had breakfast.” He replied with a low and weak voice.

The truth is, Ethan didn’t eat anything since yesterday. He would only eat alone, when nobody was in the house and he only ate in his room. He was too scared to eat in the kitchen. Soon enough, he returned to his bedroom after using the excuse that he had homework to do. But he just wanted to leave from that room. He didn’t want to be in the same room with him. He quickly went and sat in the corner again and stayed there in the dark for many hours.

               Around six in the afternoon, Ethan stood up and went to sit on his bed. He was in his first year of high school and it was just the beginning of the semester, so he didn’t have much homework to do, but he mostly spent his time reading novels or science fiction books. He was a very quiet kid and he didn’t have a single friend and even though he was always alone, he preferred it that way. Ethan had been really afraid of other people except his mum since this whole thing started. He used to be very quiet and shy but he still did laugh a lot and had a couple of friends. But ever since that day, he stopped being his usual self. He began to feel like he was always in danger and that anyone wanted to hurt him. He began to feel really fragile…

               He was sitting on his bed, reading another book for a couple of hours. He only had a small flashlight on, so there was barely any light in the room and it was quiet as usual. But then, the sound of the door opening and then closing filled the whole room, and Ethan froze.

“Ethan, I am leaving.” said Mrs. Karin.

“Ok mum, come back safe.” Ethan replied.

It was about 8 or 9 o’clock at night and his mum was leaving the house around that time every weekend to go and see her parents. Ethan’s grandparents were quite sick, so Mrs. Karin would go at their house every weekend to take care of them and see their condition. Ethan wished that she would take him with her. Because he knew. He knew that it would happen again. He was coming inside Ethan’s room every weekend, when his mum wasn’t around. It happened a lot of times already. It must have been at least two months.

               Since Mrs. Karin’s new boyfriend moved in the same house with her and Ethan -it must have been about a year-,he has been really caring. He would take Ethan to school every day, and he made his lunch. He helped Ethan with his homework and he bought a lot of books for him. Until two months ago. That day he came home after work and he looked a little bit weird. He didn’t seem like his usual self and he was looking at Ethan differently. He didn’t look at him with his warm and caring smile, but with a nasty and disgusting one. He sat on the sofa, turned on the TV, and asked Ethan to come sit next to him. Ethan sat and looked at him.

“You know Ethan…” he said.

“I have been living here for about a year and I really do not regret it.”

“Why is that? Is it because you and mum are really happy together?” asked Ethan.

That’s when his smile became even bigger and even nastier.

“No, no. It has nothing to do with your mother. It is because of you.” He whispered.

Ethan couldn’t understand what he meant. He kept looking at him, trying to figure out what was happening. He was just a kid. He had no knowledge of the cruel things that were happening in this world. And before he realized, Ethan felt his hands touching him all over. Ethan tried to yell, but he couldn’t. He felt so much pain that day that he couldn’t even move. And after all of that was over, he stood up, got dressed and left the house. Ethan was all alone in there, crying and no one was there to help him. Somehow, he managed to get himself together and get up. He went inside his room and locked the door. And then he just stayed there, crying.

               Ethan remembered all that. He remembered how lost he was, how much pain he felt, he remembered all of it. He wanted to forget that all of this had happen, but he just couldn’t. And once again, his bedroom door opened and he came inside. As always, he had that disgusting smile on his face while looking at Ethan. But Ethan couldn’t just let it happen again. He let all of this happen many times already and he just couldn’t bear with it anymore.

“Just leave me alone…” Ethan tried to say with courage. But he was so afraid, that he could barely be heard.

And it happened again. And again and again. And every time, it was so painful that Ethan could do nothing but cry. After a while, the man left and Ethan was once again alone in a corner of the bed inside that dark huge room. Unable to move, he was just trembling and crying. And just like that, he fell asleep…

               But the next day, he woke up feeling extremely tired. It was already noon, but Ethan didn’t even bother to get up. He closed his eyes again. He imagined living somewhere else, somewhere peaceful with lots of friends. In his imagination, he was happy. He was always happy. He didn’t feel pain or sadness. He was sincerely happy. And then he opened his eyes. He was still in that dark room. He got up and slowly walked towards his desk. But just then, he stopped and thought. He didn’t want to live like that forever. He didn’t want to continue being in pain. So he made a decision. He turned around and opened the windows. It was a sunny day and Ethan got blinded from the sunlight. Warm wind hit his face and he took a deep breath. Then, he walked towards his desk and took all the books that were there. All of these were his gifts. He once bought all of them for Ethan. And he kept them. He kept them because he thought that maybe one day, he would return to his normal self. That he would return to that kind and funny stepfather that he once was. But after all that time, he didn’t change. He remained that scary and disgusting beast that he was for the past two months. So Ethan threw all these books away. He did it to move on. He did it to be able to have the strength to fight it. He wanted to leave that place. He wanted to break free from that prison he was for the past two months.

Ethan took only one book with him. It was a small black and old book that was lying on his bed. He grabbed it and walked slowly towards the door. He stood there and looked around. The room was not dark anymore. It was a very bright and now Ethan could see the color of his walls. Blue, his favorite color. It was a calming and peaceful color. He loved it because it reminded him of the blue sky. He opened the door. No one was in the house. It was quiet. Ethan didn’t stop to look at the rest of the house. Especially the living room. He walked towards the door and opened it. Ethan walked quietly out and headed to the rooftop. He sat there and opened the book that he took with him. That book wasn’t his stepfather’s present. His dad bought it for him when he was four years old, but Ethan wasn’t able to read it. He read it there, while the summer wind was blowing on his face and sun was shining.

After he finished reading it, he tore every single page of the book and threw it. The pages were flying around in the sky and Ethan stood up. But he didn’t throw all of the pages, he kept only one. That page was almost blank. He took a pen out of his pocket and wrote something. Then he slowly walked until he reached the edge. He looked around. Many houses just like his were all around. He looked down at the busy people that were walking on the streets and then he looked up at the blue sky. Ethan took a deep breath and opened his arms. He let go of that last page and as the page was flying around while slowly falling, Ethan slowly fell too.

Ethan was not remembered. His classmates didn’t remember him, his teachers didn’t remember him, his stepfather forgot all about him. Time passed. But that one page that Ethan kept until the last minute was never found. Nobody knew about it and nobody ever found it. But that one page was the beginning of Ethan’s life. It was that one page that helped him escape from hell. It was the last page of the book, but the first page of his freedom.

I found my freedom.