Christmas After Nam

The clock on the wall said 6am. I could hear the sound of boots outside of my barracks. I didn't want to get out of my bunk, but I couldn't sleep forever, and my head was killing me. I had one too many to drink last night at the Enlisted Mans Club. As a staff sergeant I should know better, but when your buddies want to remember the guys, you left behind, what do you do? So out of the sack and into the shower. I can't believe that I have my own shower. That is one of the privileges of being a co-company commander. I share a barracks with another senior staff sergeant. We both got back about the same time, and both decided that the army was safe for us, at least for a while. I opted to stay over the holidays, he went home to see his folks. I am off the duty roster today, I won't have duty again until the middle of the week and there isn't much to do on an army base around the holidays anyway, especially when there are no more wars to fight. At least no more wars at the present, Nam ended earlier this year and so the Army is regrouping. I was given the option to stay or go, so I like my roomie decided to stay until we could figure some things out. I have been in 5 years he has been just over 6. Well, no use putting it off, on with the cold water. Yeah, I know you are supposed to get hot water, but that is for the officers. It takes our water a half an hour to get warm, so I get wet down, then soap up then wash off the dirt. It isn't like when it was in the field, you were lucky if you had clean water. Field bathing 101, of course the water was usually warm, I mean Asia is dam hot and during the monsoon season, you didn't even need to look for a shower. Just step out of your tent, get wet, soap up then step back out of your tent. Easiest way to get clean while avoiding possible sniper fire, yeah good times.

So, the shower was done, and I throw on my fatigues. My head is still killing me, so I knock back 3 aspirin with cold coffee. Then head out to the mess hall. It is awful quiet in here; half of the guys are either still in their bunks or away on leave. Not much in the way of combat personnel on base. I get my meal on a tin plate, runny eggs, over cooked bacon, and a biscuit that is dry as sawdust. Oh well, I have to eat something, my stomach is churning from drinking 10 beers on an empty stomach last night and into the morning. So, I force the meal down and I walk outside of the chow hall. I look around, I mean really look around for the first time in a bit. I see that there are decorations up, I can see beyond the front gate. The town is lit up with decorations and a few trees strung with lights by the city. It is cold out, not like back in country. I pull my jacket collar up and head back to my barracks. I walk towards my sleeping quarters, and I come past a building with a cross on the side. I look at it and think what the heck, I haven't been to any kind of church or even really prayed since I got back from overseas. Over there you prayed all of the time. The prayers came between the cursing at an enemy you could not always see taking pot shots at you. I took off my hat and went in, I saw several people sitting in chairs, so I sat down in the back. I just looked on silently feeling kind of out of place, then a Chaplin in robes moved behind the podium. He motioned his hands for us to get up, he then prayed. I just closed my eyes and stood in silence. He then motioned for us to sit. A group of 6 or 7 people then began to sing as a piano played. I really didn't pay much attention. They sang a few Christmas songs and then sat down. The preacher then began to speak. He didn't really say anything I hadn't heard before. The standard Christmas story, good will towards men and humanity. I just laughed in my head, yeah good will towards men. Not much of that back in the hooch stuck in a muddy hole getting shot at. Suddenly I was snapped back to my senses as the choir began to sing again. I stood up and at the end of the song, I quietly stepped out of the building. The wind picked up and it blew cold down my neck. I didn't know what to do, so I made my way back to my bunk. I spend a good part of my day laying in my bed. It wasn't until late evening that I decided to get up. I didn't want to eat on base again, so I put on my class A uniform and headed to the gate. The sentry looked at my pass and waved me through. I wasn't sure what I was doing or what I was looking for, I only knew I didn't want to stay on the base.

I found myself outside the base and made my way down to a local burger joint. I got inside and saw people sitting together and laughing. They were kind of young, like I was once. Honestly, they were not that much younger than me. I was only 22 years old, but I felt like I was 50. I sat down at the bar and the waitress asked me what I was having, I opted for coffee and the daily special. As I sat there, waiting for my order, I saw some more soldiers come. These guys weren't from where I had come from, they were just out of basic, you know newly minted, like a shiny new penny. I just sat there as my food came, I shoveled it down. It was as if I didn't even taste the meal. By the time I had finished the burger and fries, I realized that I had downed 4 cups of coffee, and I had a sudden urge to use the latrine. There I go again, army jargon. It is toilet you dolt, I thought to myself. Well, whatever you call it, I got there in a hurry. I did my business and went to the sink. There was a full mirror over the sink. I washed my hands and then my face. I found the towel dispenser and dried my hands and face off. Just as I turned to head out the door of the john, the door opened and a young solider not paying attention ran right into me. He looked up from what ever had occupied his attention and suddenly you could see that he was gripped with fear. He saw my rows of ribbons, my braided rope on my shoulder indicating a company commander and the 4 stripes, 3 down and one under rocker. I knew that it wasn't really a big deal, I mean being a staff sergeant, but the look on that privates' face, you would have thought he had seen a burning bush. Frozen in his tracks, I am willing to bet he didn't need to piss anymore. I took a step back as he moved rigid to attention. I looked him up and down I was about as tongue tied as he was. Then I snapped out an order, I said stand aside solider. He side-stepped and I slipped past him quietly leaving him petrified. I didn't hang around to see what happened when he came out of the can, but I just smiled walking down the street, that was something funny I could tell, yeah but who. Who was I going to tell the story to, I really didn't know anybody on the base and most of the guys I drank with last night were actually strangers. So, I would just have to keep it put away for another time. So back to my barracks and into my bunk. I could have gone out and tied one on again, but I really didn't feel like waking up with another hangover.

The next few days passed quickly; I was back on duty then off of the duty roster. I was basically walking around making sure privates swept the floors and kept the area cleaned. Not much to do with no more war to fight. Christmas was a few days away and I stopped back at the church building again. The Chaplin saw me sitting in one of the chairs in back. He came over and sat down beside me. He didn't say anything, he just sat there. Finally, he said I know son, I was there too. We just sat quietly until I felt like I had to say something. I asked if he needed anything done, you know in the church. He said that he didn't need any help at the moment, but if I felt up to it, he could use a someone to help on Christmas with the service. I thought, me back in church, helping out no less. So, I agreed, I would be here Christman eve. I didn't know what to expect, but I really had nothing else to do since I wasn't going home until the new year, and it wasn't like anybody was going to be trying to kill me. Not like it was just a few short months ago, back in Viet Nam.