1

‘I cannot believe you took it. What were you thinking?’ I tried to contain my voice to an angry whisper, as we were charging down the hallway to our apartment.

‘Unfortunately for your situation, dear, you left me with two equally bad options. I did what I had to do to make the situation less…’

‘If you could stop being the victim here, that would be great, thank you. You can’t even look me in the eye and tell me what Tina said was not true.’ Sam walked away, leaving me at the doorstep.

I shut the door behind me, kicked the shoes off, and cleaned irritated the area around the kitchen.

‘I would if you’d stop throwing things around the house.’ He threw himself on the couch, one leg dangling at the margin, and undid his tie. His hands were at his temples with closed eyes. Sam sighed.

‘I’m cleaning this bottomless pit of disarrangement you threw your junk into.’ I gave him a severe look, throwing another snack packaging into the trash with swift moves.

‘This is all your junk, honey.’ His voice was soft, his eyes still closed.

My blood started boiling. ‘I will not scream at him,’ I thought. ‘This time I won’t give him reasons to call me unhinged.’ Our eyes were locked, and I saw the sparkle of fury flashing in his light blue eyes. ‘He wants to fight, too.’

‘Should I start counting the number of things that are yours that I put in order, or can I remain at the minimum level of pettiness possible?’

He sprang up from the couch and pointed his finger threatening at me. We both felt pure poison from our souls, pouring out every last bit of resentment.

‘For once, I wish you would admit to your mistakes. Admit you are a messy person. Why can’t you just do that?’

‘Why would you say I don’t do that? I think we’ve had this argument a million times. Every time we agree at the end. You agree with me it’s not true, that you contribute to it too. The next argument. The same idea is being brought up.’ My voice raised a little at the end. I pressed my hands on the table to hide the trembling with rage, which enclosed my entire body. ‘I’m tired of repeatedly going over this with you.’

‘Tell me one time you said ‘I was wrong’’. He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly. I hated it when he did that.

‘Really? Do you think I wrote them down? Should we both stay here until I unravel the past few days…’

‘You’re right, we would be here for days.’

‘Witty.’

I bolted into our bedroom and opened the closet.

‘Where are you going? Jane, we talked about this… ‘

‘Look, I’m tired. I have surgery tomorrow and cannot operate tired. I’m going to bed.’

As I entered the bathroom, I heard him open the fridge and mutter angrily to himself. My stomach hurled.

‘This won’t be over.’

2

‘Could you pass me the salt, please?’

‘I don’t believe your blood pressure needs encouragement.’ I said, while handing it to him.

‘I’m 31 honey, not 60.’

‘I’m 29 and I have high blood pressure.’

‘That’s because you’re angry all the time.’

I raised my eyebrows. Sam continued to serenely eat his lunch without minding or waiting for my reaction.

‘That’s because of my tendency to get annoyed and some people’s tendency towards such behavior.’

The wind blew his golden locks right into his eyes. He turned his face towards the lake, which cleared his face. I followed his direction of looking.

I could hear the rustling of leaves coming from the entire forest to form a symphony encircling our veranda. Fall was fitting the little cabin better than any other season. A large palette of colors took over the margin of the forest surrounding the lake, giving it an intimate and contented look from the outside world. The colors reflected on the surface of the green-blue quiet, still, at rest lake. I took a deep breath and filled my lungs with the freshness and purity given out by this part of the world I longed to come to for an eternity. ’It’s just that my weekends have been so full. And we barely talked to each other enough to suggest such a trip.’ I looked back at him.

‘We should repair the old dock. It’s falling in pieces into the lake.’ Sam frowned.

‘I think it’s a test of will, actually. Determination and bravery. We should test our friends to see who’s worth the time by making them walk it.’

‘So you want to remain even more friendless than currently. Not your brightest move, Arder. People are power and power brings us snacks when we get together.’ He smirked at me and moved his face only inched apart from mine.

I cackled. The fresh scent of his cologne combined with the sweet smell of the wild hit me in the face. Then, as if struck by the brutal realization of reality, we simultaneously felt the intimacy and playfulness given out as too much. We reluctantly lowered our heads and returned sullenly to our meal, as if bound to an invisible prison of misery whose rules must be abided. For now.

3

‘And why should I say you aren’t coming?’

‘Because you’re being annoying everywhere I go with you.’

I shot him a slightly irritated look.

‘I’m kidding.’

‘You know it’s your fault I’m angry. You know you were the asshole, right? Please tell me you know that.’

He glared at me with a darkened demeanor.

‘When is it not someone else’s fault you’re angry?’

I turned my head back to the mirror and encountered my grimacing from anger face. I put the finishing touches on my make-up, and bolted to the bedroom, where Sam was lying against the pillows in our matrimonial bed, laptop in his lap, frowning at the screen.

‘Have fun by yourself.’ I babbled as I snatched my purse.

‘Jane, wait.’

I stopped dead in the middle of the hallway and shot him a glance.

‘Why will you tell her I didn’t come?’

‘I’ll figure something out in the car.’ I said curtly, as I turned around and reached for the doorknob.

‘No, hold on, let’s figure something out together now.’

My upper body spun quickly back towards him, hand still on the doorknob.

‘I said I’ll think of something plausible in the car. What kind of unreasonable excuse do you think I’m capable of creating?’

‘Well, let’s make sure she won’t get upset. I don’t want to have to endure her tormenting…’

‘Sam, I’m in a hurry…’

‘Your lack of time management does not interest me.’ He growled.

His sudden fit of anger bewildered me, but I soon matched his level of fury.

We watched each other closely, tensely, carefully, hate palpably emitting from both of our bodies.

I smashed the door behind me as fiercely as I physically could.

4

‘Are you still mad?’

‘Yes. I don’t want to be, but I am.’

‘That is indeed the longest you’ve gone mad at someone with your short emotional memory.’ His voice was a mixture of sheer worry and an attempt at playfulness.

I smiled in the dark. We were lying on our bed. The street lights filtered through the curtains formed moving shapes on the wall. I could just imagine the uncertainty imprinted on his soft, beautiful features, and my heart melted. The poison was out of our souls and was now spreading into the world.

‘What got you so inflamed?’ He asked again, waiting nervously for my answer.

‘Honestly, I cannot remember.’

His body relaxed next to mine.

‘Well, whatever it is, I’m really sorry. I hate it when we are this tense with each other. Let’s forget about it, please.’

‘All right.’

‘I love you.’

‘Love you too.’