Days and Nights In a Concrete Cocoon

That stain of blood is probably what bothers me most in life. 

I imagine it got there when they threw me in here, and I mean threw. No way I was letting them put me in this concrete box without a fight. Dad always said, “It ain't about being beat to shit, its about ripping their fucking ear off when they do it.” He told me that after I came home with a bloodied lip. If he had just listened he woulda known I just bit it while eating my fucking PB&J. 

Goddamn asshole.

At first I was a little happy it was there. The blood stain added some color to the room. First thing you notice when they put you in the hole is just how gray it is. It's not a calming gray. It's like unwashed sidewalk gray, pickup games canceled it's raining gray, Nah it's just my natural hair color gray. Its clearly the kinda gray they scientifically design to show you that you fucked the hell up and they aint gunna take your shit no more. At least the crazies get a white padded room. Their blood stains probably wash right away on that leather. No stain, No nothing. Just white. A nice calming white would be nice. Maybe I should have pleaded insanity.

Either way, the blood stain did add color, but now its fucking brown. Looks like a shit stain. How the hell am I supposed to earn my god given punishment in peace when there's a damn skidmark next to my bed? Maybe if they turned off the lights, I could close my eyes and pretend like the brown aint there, but whooptie fucking doo I get that florestent beam on my ass twenty four fucking seven.

It even makes it hard to work out. The rooms too small to work around it. Push ups? Shit stain. Sit ups? Shit stain. Planks? Shit stain. Squats? Oh no, am I having the squirts again? Nope, it's just the shit stain. Everything I do revolves around a shit stain that I know, in my heart of hearts, is not a shit stain.

Well I think it is at least. 

I just wish it didn't look like an arrow pointing toward the door.

The door.

…

No that's nonsense, I know it's not a shit stain. Right? It was my elbow when I fell. It scraped on the wall and smeared on the floor when they threw me in here.

…

It is a pretty big stain for just a scrape. How big was the scrape anyways?

Shit it healed didn't it?

...

Wait, it healed? When did that happen?

How long have I been in here? There's not even a scab or scrape left. I even picked at it for days, or what I think was days, to make it heal slower. Watching wounds heal is actually good entertainment in the hole I learned. Now there isn't even a mark. My elbows’ as clean as a baby's bottom and as ashy as my grandma.. 

May she rest in peace.

That's besides the point though. Surely they should have let me out by now? How long does it take for an elbow scrape to heal? A week? Two weeks? I cant have been in here for two weeks already? 

It's pretty hard to tell without seeing what the wound initially looked like. Could I really have watched a wound heal for several days yet remember nothing about it? 

No?

…

Yeah… I can't remember a thing. 

I guess I could recreate it. Rewatch it for a few days and see how fast it heals. I could also let it bleed on the ground and see if that really is a shit stain. 

Which it's not.

But it doesn't hurt to check.

…

Now if I can just throw myself into this door with enough force I can…

The door.

…

This is stupid. No way I am about to fucking hurt myself just to see if the stain on the floor is a shit stain (Which its not)… and  I guess also see how much time has passed. 

It would be nice to know how much time has passed though. Surely there's another way to tell time. Weather? No windows. Temperature? This place is always around 70. Hair growth? No mirrors… also I think I might be balding.

Wait. That's not a bad idea though. Maybe hair is not the way to go, but there are other things that grow.

Shut up not that.

Toenails!

…

Holy mother of god why are they so long? I have never seen my toenails this long. This is some wicked witch shit, some girls night out salon shit. Oh no this is not good. I must have been here for a while. Fuck.

…

It could be that I haven't been walking around much. It's a bit hard to train for a marathon in a room the size of a Walmart parking space.

Yea… It's just that. I cant have been here that long. It's just that I haven't been walking enough. It's kinda like those pigs that don't whittle down their teeth enough, and it just goes right into their brain. I saw that on animal planet. Right? Or youtube? The lack of use has let them grow out crazy fast.

I should probably do some walking. Never too late to start getting into a habit. Dad did always tell me “Better a Late Bastard than a Nev-

Fuck, I just stepped in the Shi-  I mean Blood Stain.

Now I remember why I don't exercise here. Stupid fucking stain. It's the biggest problem in my life right now… Other than the whole solitary confinement thing. Which by the way, is Bullshit. I don't even remember what I did. Or maybe what I didn't do? Who knows? 

…

I should be outta here soon anyways. 

I think so at least. It's hard to tell time in the hole. Soon I won't have to think about this gray ass cell or its annoying ass stains ever again

If they ever let me out. I hope they didn't forget I'm here.

I've been thinking about this a little bit. They can't have forgotten I was in here right?. What if there was a zombie apocalypse situation or something? What if I got put into a Rick Grimes coma situation. These motherfuckers last priority is going to be letting my stinky toenailed ass out of this cell. They probably just booked it straight up the nearest mountain and left me here to rot. 

Assholes. Wouldn't even have the decency to shoot me.

…

In their defense,

It is a lot of work to kill a man. You gotta spend time psyching yourself up for it. In most apocalyptic scenarios, shit goes downhill fast. Not to mention we are in prison. Last people I wanna be around are these lord of the flies motherfuckers. They don't even need an apocalypse to start forming gangs of savages and ripping each other apart. All they need is a dirty look, or a scrabble game gone awry and they all start stabbing each other like its fucking medieval times.

…

Yea… fuck that. I ain't getting Piggied. Apocalypse comes, I’d get as far away from this shithole as possible. Rick Grimes can eat my ass. He had the luxury of not being in a goddamned prison when the shit hit the fan. Also, He got to snooze through the first few weeks, which are always the deadliest.

Also he didnt have a fucking shit sta-

Goddamn it! Its Fucking Blood Stain! I know its fucking Blood stain! So stop calling it a Shit Stain! Its a Fucking Blood stain! Idiot! Idiot! IDIOT!

…

…

Breathe

…

Okay I gotta get rid of this shit stain.

I could try rubbing food on it? No, that would just make it look more like shit. 

I could try scraping it away? With what? Your toenails?

I could pee on it? What are you? A fucking Monkey?

I would wash it away with water, but I don't really have that much water left. They haven't come to give me any for a while. Maybe it's because the apocalypse started?

…

No… That's stupid. The apocalypse did not start. They must have just forgotten to give me my food for today… and maybe yesterday… or whenever they give it to me. 

I really don't have any perception of time here. Maybe there's a way to see how long I’ve been here?

Wait no… I know that's a dead end.

What about the door to the cell?

There is some light coming from under the door.

…

The door.

…

The door to the cell.

…

Why is my heart racing?

It's just a door.

…

…

What if the doors unlocked? I could take a quick peek outside

…

Stop

…

What if they never locked me in here at all? Or if the apocalypse came when I was sleeping and some good samaritan unlocked the door? Or they just forgot to turn the key this time? Or they just forgot to take me out of here and think the cell is empty? Or if-

Stop.. breathe

No, that's stupid. The door is not unlocked. There's no way I could be in here all this time growing my toenails out in an unlocked room. Right? No. Yes? All this can not have been for nothing. I have not been trapped in this god forsaken skidmarked cell growing out my fucking toenails for nothing!

I need to calm down

There's a chance right? That all this has been for nothing? I mean what if I’m right? Is it a lesson learned? Fuck that. Fuck your lesson learned. I've been here for weeks! No toenails grow that fast! I shat on the floor 44 SHITS AGO! 

Oh god I need some air

There's only one way to get it.

Just open the door.

Why are my hands shaking? Am I scared? What could I possibly be scared of? I get to see the sun. Walk in the open. Get some fresh fucking air. Smell something other than the stale aroma of gruel and wet concrete. See the wilting leaves of autumn grow into a thousand shades of colors and fall to my feet. See my children play and bask in the warmth of their innocence with wise content. Lay after a hard day of work and feel my bones settle knowing the pleasure of energy well spent. I can love, die, cry, feel, witness the whole world around me…

from the outside of this cell.

…

What if the doors locked?

…