My family died three years ago in a car crash. Little Evelynn, she was 6 years old, Carter he was 10, and my love, mi amore, Laura, all gone.  People say I’m paranoid, insane even, but I'm not. How dare they call me crazy! All I want is what anyone wants, a family, and not just any, my family. It pains me to even think of the night when my world crumbled like stones… 

We were going out to dinner at our favorite Italian place, Reddiccis’ when it started to snow, I slow down because the roads were slick and I hadn't had a chance to put the snow tires on yet. All of a sudden, a car comes zipping down the highway and cuts us off, the next part is terrible and the worst part of it all is that I don’t even know what happened. I lost all control! All I hear in my head is their screams, screams caused by me. Wails of terror from Evie and Carter, my wife screaming to stop the car, but I was frozen, I couldn’t do anything. It was inevitable. Then there was silence.  

When the car finally stopped moving all I felt was pain, all I smelled was gas and burnt hair. I looked around me in the car to make sure everyone was okay, only to realize that everyone was NOT ok. Laura was already gone, a piece of the windshield had broken off and was lodged in her throat, I couldn’t breathe. What had I done! This was all my fault. I had to check on the others though. Were they ok? Evie was still breathing, her

giant teddy bear had cushioned most of the impact but she was still not ok! Her arm was in a position that it shouldn’t be in and who knows what else could be wrong. Carter!  Is he okay? I look in the back seat for Carter, but he’s not there. I panic. Where did he go! I unbuckle myself and try to stand up, but all I feel is pain in my leg. I collapse into the snow. I scream at the agonizing pain in my leg. I look up to see a patch of brown, I think to myself, please, please don’t be him. I hobble ten feet in front of the car to realize, it is him. He must have unbuckled his seatbelt in the panic and flew through the windshield. All I can do is watch the snow slowly turn red…

Fifteen Minutes Later

Why hasn’t anyone come yet? I start sobbing, sobbing for the pain in my body, sobbing for my family, and sobbing for in hope someone will hear me and come to help. I feel hopeless. What feels like decades later I hear the faint ring of sirens. The next hour was a blur, people asking me on a scale of one to ten how bad was the pain, I always answered a million, for my family was gone. Wait, Evie, she’s still alive! I remember she was breathing in the car. I ask the nearest person is my daughter ok and they only gave me a solemn look and say,

”we're doing everything we can sir.” The last thing I remember is the jet black sky before I hit the ground. 

Sometime Later

My mind is so foggy, am I dead? No, if I was dead I wouldn’t feel so much pain, but maybe, because through all the haze, I see an angel, a lady in a white robe. Wait, no, it's a nurse. She has food. How dare she think that I can eat. My whole family is gone, besides Evie.

 “Nurse! Is my daughter ok?” I ask. 

She gives me a weird look, maybe my voice is all messed up from the crash, and she can’t understand me. She  says,” sir your family has been dead for a week.” 

No this can’t be true she was breathing, she was safe.  Out of my frustration, I scream at her, I flail, I tell her she is wrong.  Her face fills with horror and she flees the room. I lay in my bed and fill with rage if it wasn't for the crazy driver we would all be okay. If Carter didn’t unbuckle we would all be okay. I start to sob, I'm blaming my own son for the deaths. It's not his fault he panicked, it's not his fault he broke the windshield, and it is definitely not his fault Laura is dead. I don't know who to blame so I guess I will blame myself.

“Hello, my name is Doctor Meyer, I am your psychiatrist. Please tell me what happened in the accident.” I am so delirious of what is happening but I explain the story to her anyway. All she does is a nod and say ok, I’m fine with that I don't want her sympathy. After what seems like hours of being in the spotlight, she finally leaves, and I smile for the first time in days. 

I learned today what happened to Evie and it pains me to think of it, she suffered extreme brain damage or easier saying, she went brain dead, they decided to put her on life support but then halfway through the night she started seizing up, and her heart exploded. I wish I could be in their place. I can't even go one second without hearing their screams all over again, one second without seeing their cold lifeless bodies. 

I start to think horrible thoughts, suicidal thoughts even, I write notes and hide them so that way if something does happen they will know. Every day seems to drag on like a ball and chain. I feel like I am always sinking into a hole of emptiness, all alone, forever. I feel so numb, my arms are covered in lines I made myself with a blade, but no one knows.

 No one has seen me since I was released from the hospital a week ago, and now I have to plan a funeral, three funerals to be exact, and I don’t think I can. I have decided on one thing though, it will be hosted in a church.  I myself am a man of science, I have never been a religious man, but if anything can take away the pain, God can. 

That night I lie in my cold soulless room and pray. Pray that I can get my family back, I plead, I beg, and repent for every little thing I have done wrong in my life, in the hope he will fulfill my wishes. Then, it hits me I could clone them! At the funeral, I can take samples of their body tissue and bring them back! Yes, this could work! I grab my notepad and do some research. Apparently, scientists have cloned things before but have never tried on a human subject, that worries me but I stay confident. I stay up every night for a week and work on my plan. Every day more and more people came by to ask me if I am ok because I always have the lights on, I told them to go and worry about their own measly lives, and they always nodded and ran off. They must think I'm crazy, but in my mind, they’re the ones that are crazy. 

Funeral Day

Today’s the day, I get my samples at the funeral. I don’t even feel sad anymore, why should I? Haven’t lost them. I dress in an extra big suit so I can carry the samples back home without anyone knowing, but then again they are going to be paying attention to the bodies. Why pay attention to them, it's not like they are going to suddenly sit up and say hello. You should be paying attention to the ones who are alive and cherish your every moment with them. But that does not apply to me, as long as my plan works then I will never have to worry about losing someone again, or even dying! I hop into my car. Surprisingly it held up even after all the damage it took, and I hit the road.

All I hear when I pull up to the church is the soft hum of the church choir, they are singing about death and Jesus, are holy savior, but is he really? If he was our savior why did this all happen to me in the first place? Why does anything bad happen in the first place, oh wait I know, because religion is all a lie built to make people worship someone so they feel like they have someone to help them through all their problems. But they are too blind to see the truth and realize they are just hopelessly lost. 

I don't stay there very long, just long enough to grab my samples and leave. I had to tell everyone to go talk to the priest because I needed time alone with them, so I could get a chance to get my samples.  It was a success. I shed one tear for each of them, but they were tears of joy. For I knew my plan would work, and then we would go back home like nothing ever happened, no one left…

Present Time

That night I had a terrible dream, and I have had terrible dreams since the crash but this one was by far the worst. I hear Evie sobbing, and I try to run to her but I can't, I’m buckled in my seat in the car wreckage all over again. It all fades away and I am standing in what seems like a never-ending hallway. In the distance I see Carter, he is screaming for me to disappear. His voice is filled with rage. He’s yelling at me that it is all my fault and that they are never coming back, no matter how hard I try. I run to him and grab him to pull him in for a hug, but he starts to scream and punch me, he flails and yells at me that he wishes I were dead. That makes me let him go, my face fills with horror and I run. And that's when I see her, Laura. She looks at me and her face lights up with joy, we embrace and we both start to cry. I tell her how I miss her and she smiles and says,” No you don't’,” 

“What do you mean I miss you so much.” 

“If you missed me you wouldn’t have killed me”

I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my chest I look to see that she stabbed me with the piece of the windshield that killed her,  the floor disappears, and I plummet to my death. I wake up and immediately touch my chest, I’m drenched in sweat. It all felt so real, I start to sob. Maybe they don't want to see me, no, they do want to see me they are my family, I need to get to work.

I did it! I had convinced my friend to let me use his key card for the science lab at the community college.  I arrive at midnight. I take out the samples: a lock of hair from the girls, and a piece of skin from Carter's face. I try to put that nightmare in the back of my head, I’m too far to doubt myself, I need to follow through. I go over to the DNA analyzer and put it in Evelynn’s sample first. She was the last to die, so I think she should be the first to live.  I realize I’m shaking, it has to be excited I’m feeling. I go behind the wall to the control center, so I can set up the machine. I need to do this, It’s going to work, I know it. I pull the lever, at first nothing happened, please work. I think to myself this has to work, I know it will. I hear a loud crackling noise and I look over, it’s working! I see the machine doing its work it starts out with a base of the skeletal system and slowly adds in muscles and organs than the rest of the features, it’s done. All I need to do now is to use an A.E.D to start her heart. I slowly walked over to her. She is so beautiful, I stroke her hair and start to cry. I need to bring her back. I grab the A.E.D and bring her back.

“Daddy, are we at the dinner place yet,” Evie says. 

“ no honey we never did, but I love you so much and I’m never letting you go again.” 

“Wheres Mommy?”

“ I need to make her but then when I’m done me, you, mommy, and Carter are going to go home and watch a good old’ movie how does that sound” 

“ That sounds fun daddy!” 

Two Hours Later

They are all back! I am filled with so much joy right now. I tell them what happened. Laura and Carter seem to understand what happened. Evie was lost, so I told her that she just went on a trip for a little bit, and that fixed it all up. We head home and watch Barbie movies(Evie’s Choice). We all talk and laugh. I thought everything was perfect until it wasn’t…

I wake up to realize everyone is gone, I don't suspect anything is wrong, so I go and turn on the news, my heart breaks like a glass hitting the ground. My family is wanted for murder! They were videotaped running people off the road, they crashed over 7 cars. I can’t even look at the screen. why would they do that! It hits me when I cloned them I was filled with hate that I had to do this, I loathed the driver who caused this. It only makes sense that they are trying to find the person who did this and get their revenge. I need to stop them! I hurry back to my room to get changed and then I dart out the door.

I search and search but I can't find them at all. I ask people if they have seen them, and no one has. I pull off the highway to take a break from the search when I see a girl, she looks to be in her lower twenties, I pull closer to see that she is covered in blood. Her forehead has a huge gash in it, and she is limping. I pull over and asked her what happened.

“ I-I-I w-was in a wr-wr-wreck, I was d-driving along the road wh-when I lo-looked over and saw a car driving really close to me. I pulled o-over so they c-c-could go p-p-past me but they didn't. I started to speed up and so did they. Next thing I notice I’m rolling down the side of a cliff i-i-i’m l-lucky to b-be alive.”

She collapses to the ground sobbing. I kneel down to hold her.

“Let me give you a ride to the hospital.”

All she can do is give me a nod of her head, I pick her up and put her in the car. We finally arrive at the hospital. I tell the nurse the situation and leave, but before I can the lady says,” thank you so much, I don’t think I would’ve made it if it wasn’t for you.”

“Anything I can do to help,” I say.

I run back out to my car and hop in. Back to the main objective: stop my family. I drive and drive for what seems like hours to realize it has only been twenty minutes. I see a familiar car up ahead. It’s them! I found them I honk my horn at them and speed up. They see me and immediately stop the car. Laura hops out and hugs me she starts to cry. She says she doesn't mean it that she didn’t want to but I know she did deep down anyway it's all they ever feel. I take them home pretending to be happy they are back, but in my head, I’m thinking I have to kill them, I can’t just let them do this to people, innocent people, children, women. After they all went to bed I think, it pains me so much to do this but I must. I need to rid their terrible souls from this world. 

I have a plan I will kill laura with poison. I will make her breakfast and mix in rat poison. Evelynn I will suffocate I will Lock her in a safe. Cater he will be hard to kill he is very quick and very smart.  He has been very suspicious ever since the big fight a year before he died. But I think I will take him for a drive and then throw him off a cliff.

I need to dispose of my family as soon as possible.  They are starting to realize that I’m growing distant. I hate to admit it but I’m scared, scared that they will hurt someone, scared that they will hurt me. I think I know what I’m going to do though. I will plan a family road trip. Pack the safe and poisoning with me so that way I can kill them. Then after the dirty work is done. I can come back and no one will ever know. I decide to tell them what we are going to do. We are going to go to the Grand Canyon. 

My wife and little Evie immediately agree to go. Carter is very reluctant about the trip. 

“ Why do you want to go on a trip?” He asks 

“Why not I just want to spend time with my family.”

“Well, I’m NOT going!” Carter yells and stomps out of the room.

No, I think to myself this can’t happen! If he doesn’t go then my whole plan will be ruined, I can’t let this happen. I am about to stand up to go yell at him when Laura says,” Honey, let me go talk to him, I know you two do not get along very well.” I agree, I know she has a greater influence on him than I do. 

We leave in 20 minutes. I rented a motorhome. Evie in ecstatic laughing and yelling. I’m finally relieved for once I actually plan to spend time with them. I feel so relieved because I’m only 1 day away from the kill. We all hop in the motorhome and we hit the road. We are in a 1980’s motorhome. It is pretty decent actually, it has black forest oak flooring. When you first step into the left is the living room/kitchen. If you keep walking you go into a little hallway to the right of the hallway there is a bathroom. Then, on the left side of the hallway is bunk beds built into the interior. Then in the very back of the vehicle is a master bedroom. Before we left I made sure to add the safe and poison to the list of supplies. I told my wife the poisoning was for if there was a rodent problem, and the safe was for our money, but I know that’s not what its there for.  We stop that night at a trailer park and, Laura was going to make dinner, I protest and say,” NO! I mean, no honey I’ll make dinner. This way I can poison her. I decide to make burgers. I pull out the propane grill and start cooking. Crap! I haven't used the grill in years, and I burnt the food. I’m filled with rage, how am I supposed to kill her now?

“Hey it’s ok, we can go out to eat,” Laura says.

I realized I started to cry out of my frustration. “Yeah, yeah that will work.” I fill with panic I need to come up with a new plan, and fast! I quickly, I will personally deliver her the food, and before she eats it.

“ Hi, my name is Clarisse I will be serving you guys today what can I get you today?”

Evie orders, Macaroni & Cheese, Carter got a cheeseburger, Laura got Chicken Caesar salad and a chocolate milkshake, while I got a T-Bone steak. After Clarisse leaves I excuse myself to go to the “bathroom”. I find an apron and sneak into the kitchen, take out the poisoning, and pour it into the blender…

“Here you guys go,” Clarisse says as she gives us our food.

We all say our thank yous and she is off. We all eat our food and the whole time I am filled with anxiety, she still hasn't drunk her drink. I’m worried that she won't even touch it. I was right. 

“Oh my goodness gracious, I am stuffed. Who wants my milkshake?”

“I will.” Carter says,” Thank you, Mom.”

Please don't give it to him please, please. She does. Great now my plan is switched I will have to shove the love of my life to plummet to her death. I was wanting her to die peacefully in her sleep. Carter chugs down the whole shake. We head back to the Motorhome for the night…

I wake up the next morning to here’s the girls’ sobs. I ask them what is wrong, even though I already know Carter is dead. We start to head home that day and I know I must hurry and dispose of them I must keep them from hurting people ever again. Our day is a very long and mournful day and then it is night we stop at a rest station and get ready for bed. I lay in bed that night for what seems like hours trying to think of a new plan. The last thing I remember was the hum of the fan before I drifted off to sleep.

I wake up and I can’t breathe! There is something on my face I lookup in a panic to see laura she is suffocating me I try to throw her off of me, but I can’t she is too strong. I think to myself I can't die I need them to die first if I die so many innocent people will die because of me. I can’t fight much longer I can feel my body slowly shutting down. I’m very lightheaded. I think I might just close my eyes and take a nap...


January 11, 2020 20:52

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Lucille Greye
15:32 Jan 23, 2020

The plot is good, but the grammar, not as much. I once read somewhere that in a story, the exclamation mark should only be used twice in every 5,000 words. I am sorry to admit I do not exactly remember, but it might have been more words than that. But the point I’m making is that one might want to use different dialogue tags (such as screamed, yelled, cried, etc.) instead of dumping in the exclamation marks. Also, touching base with commas and run on sentences. “I try to put that nightmare in the back of my head, I’m too far to doubt myse...


Unknown User
19:49 Jan 25, 2020

thank you for your advice ill try my best to use in my other stories


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