THE WAY TO LUCK

Mr.X was a man who felt he had no luck. Though he was qualified and experienced he couldn’t get a decent job. He had advertised in the matrimonial columns to find a bride. It was a peculiar ad and still he got responses. He had shortlisted those to talk to and excerpts from the matrimonial interviews he faced are reproduced below:

Candidate 1

SHE: Though you’re well qualified, how is it you’ve no job?

X: They asked me questions which were difficult to answer: For instance after I had passed written tests I was called for interview. The question was if you’re[i] selected and posted and if a close friend wanted something to be officially done in his favour, how would you answer? I said I would help him.

SHE: That was wrong. You should’ve said I’ll never compromise my official position. I’ve told you I’m elder to you by 6 months. Did it cause you to hesitate in taking a decision?

X: No. Age is only a number as far as I’m concerned.

SHE: You say marriage can take place only after you’ve found a job. That means the bride would’ve to wait endlessly.

X: I’m hoping for a change in luck.

SHE: You say you’ll consider marriage only with a woman who is earning. Does it mean you’re going to depend on her?

X: No. I’m hoping to get a paying job myself.

SHE: You’ve said caste, religion no bar. Only she has to be employed. That shows you’re desperate for money.

X: I’m not desperate. It only shows I’m broadminded.

SHE: You seem to have no interest in sports or indoor games or any hobby.

X: That’s the truth.

SHE: I’ll think it over. Thank you for coming to meet me.

CANDIDATE 2

SHE: I’ve said I’m of mixed parentage.

X: It matters not.

SHE: You want a woman who is having a steady income. That means you want to only rely on her earnings.

X: Also. Remember the wedding can take place only after I have got a job. That means I’ll also have an income.

SHE: I’ve told you my job and my salary. Suppose you accept a job with a lesser salary will you still consider me?

X: If that happens I’ll leave it to you.

SHE: Let me think it over. Thank you for coming over and talking to me.

CANDIDATE 3

SHE: You have no job and say you are living on a small capital left to you by your grandpa. How long will it last?”

X: I’m optimistic about finding a job before my capital dries up.

SHE: You can’t rely on that. And you say you’ve no luck.

X: Optimism and luck need not mix.

SHE: Let me think it over. Thanks.

CANDIDATE: 4

SHE: I have seen you and have studied your requirements. Suppose you get a job in a different geographical location?

X: I’ll expect my wife to go with me.

SHE: Suppose she has a job only here.

X: I would’ve to think it over. Further I can only decide based on circumstances.

SHE: Thank you.

CANDIDATE 5

SHE: You’ve said widow no bar. I am a widow.

X: That’s why I’m talking to you.

SHE: True I’m earning a big salary but spend a big percentage of it on cosmetics and in visiting beauty salons. That means you must have the means to run the family.

X: I expect the wife to be careful about spending money. If your appearance satisfies me you won’t need to visit those salons.

SHE: I’m female and take pride in my looks. If I find it necessary to spend money on beauty products and in visiting beauty salons nobody can prevent me.

X: I don’t think you will fit me. Thanks.

CANDIDATE 6

SHE: I’ve a sister who has to be married. I’m putting by a part of my earnings to be used for her marriage.

X: I’ve clearly said I want an unencumbered woman. It means she should earn and keep the money for herself. You don’t fit my expectations. Thank you.

CANDIDATE 7

SHE: You’re jobless and it looks like you may take a lot longer to find one.

X: You’re right. I don’t know when I’ll land a job.

SHE: My parents are getting old and they would like to see me married soon. You don’t meet my expectations. Thank you.

CANDIDATE 8

SHE: You need a job as well as a wife.

X: That is like it.

SHE: My dad is in movie production. He can offer you a job.

X: I can’t act.

SHE: No need. He can place you as private secretary to a superstar. The pay will be good and if you do well she can reward you further.

 X: Would you approve of it?

SHE: Why not? She is an ex-star and is now fat and unattractive. She has made her money and is now in need of a private secretary who takes care of her investments and income from India and the world.

X: I’m tempted to accept and wed you.

SHE: There’s another point you must note. Your ad said you were prepared to accept even if the woman has minor flaws. As you can see my left arm is slightly shorter than the right. That’s because my mom it seems took some medication prior to my birth.

X: That is no problem. I’m satisfied with your looks and with you overall.

SHE: You have stated you have no luck.

X: I see it coming now.

SHE: Don’t be in a hurry and accept. The job of private secretary is not permanent. If she finds you wanting somewhere she could fire you. Remember you get the fat salary only by performing to her satisfaction. And one more thing: The star is getting older and you don’t know how long she will live.

X: I see your point. I would’ve to dance to her tune and satisfy her fully or she will shut the door on me. In other words you’re warning me to be on the lookout for better placements. However there is one consolation. You’ve a good job working for an international software company. It isn’t a routine job. You write software. Even if I’m fired by the star I can look to you.

SHE: I see you’re not confident in working for the star and are looking to me as a source of financial support.

X: I suppose what you said is true.

SHE: And there’s further uncertainty: Suppose I decide to start a family I may have to quit my job. Now do you think your luck is changing?  I see you have no comment. You’ve no self-confidence. Still due to my handicap if you accept me I know I would’ve a tough task to bolster your self-confidence. Despite your failings I propose to accept you. I’ll make you live up to my expectations. Give me your nod on that point and your search for a wife has ended but you still have to look for a permanent job.

X: I fully agree.

SHE: I’ll go ahead with wedding plans on that assurance.

X : (to himself} Your luck is changing. Live up to her expectations or you will be a laughing stock!

END