Embracing our Differences

Sometimes we wish everyone was just like us. We wish they thought the same as us, we wish we had the same beliefs, and agreed upon the same things, but do we want that? How fun would the world be if we were exactly equal?

Being different at times becomes the motive of so much worry to us. We worry that we might be wrong, or inadequate, or that we are going to be judged or laughed at. We worry about how others perceive us, and we feel self-conscious. It is a feeling as if all eyes are on us, as if we are the center of attention.

Would we have this feeling of being watched if everyone was equal at every level? I’m guessing that no. We feel watched when we are worried about our differences. Our mind wanders “that person is looking at me because they noticed this or that about me”. It is usually our insecurities.

If we were all equal, we would have none of this to worry about, because we knew exactly what to always expect. There would never be any surprises, there would never be anything out of the box, and everything would be linear, so there would be no room for judgment or humiliation or rejection.

When we are different it raises a lot of doubts and uncertainty. “Will I be accepted or rejected? Will I be liked? Will I be humiliated? Am I inadequate? Then comes guilt and shame. “Why am I like this? Why am I different? Why am I not normal?”. This raises a question. What do we perceive as “normal”? What do we consider ourselves different from? Usually “normal” it is what the specific society we were born and raised in, the culture, and our parents told us is acceptable.

Why are we different? Astrology says that the position of the stars at the time and location we were born has an influence or correspondence with the personality that we each will have and the challenges that we are going to experience throughout our lives. The parents that we have and the generation that we come from has a great impact on who we will become. The society that we are born in also shapes us with the experiences that we go through in our day-to-day lives, and the expectations that the collective society puts on us. Also, what shapes us is the way that we interpret, and assimilate each event that happens to us and the choices we decide to make. We are a product of many things. Who we are is what happens to us, but more importantly who we are is who we choose to become. Interestingly, each one of us is unique in the history of humankind.

In my opinion, it is normal when we feel worried that other eyes are on us. We are self-conscious about our differences, and we never know what others are thinking. There is so much uncertainty, especially when we are considered rare for some reason. We might feel very different because we are different from the norm in the specific community in which we were born and raised. We might feel different because we are not what our parents expected from us, or because we had very difficult parents compared to the people we socialize with. We might just be a rare person.

This feeling of being different can cause us pain throughout our lives. However, pain can be interpreted as God's way of saying “I Love you” because it is through pain that we grow the most. Through pain, we learn to become more grateful and enjoy the little things life offers us. We learn to love more deeply, and become stronger, and through the pain we can learn to inspire others and make an impact in the world.

An easy life will make us weak. Pain can be transformed into love and strength so let us hold on tight to our differences and accept them as part of us. It is our blessing; it is our challenge that we need to accept. Dare to be naked. Let’s dare to be vulnerable about our differences. Don’t ever hide them, let’s not hide, because that is exactly what the world needs. Us. Let’s not ever pretend to be who we are not. Instead, let’s find out who we are.

We have all the right in the world to be worried about showing ourselves thoroughly. We fear the outcome. We fear not being accepted, we fear humiliation, and we fear loneliness. History has proven that the outcome can even be dangerous. Thankfully it is not dangerous anymore in most cases today. When we have the fear of showing our true selves, automatically we fear being watched. We are concerned that the truth might be seen, and that we will face whatever consequences we assimilate to the truth being seen. We feel watched because we fear people will notice the differences that we are desperately trying to hide from the world and in turn we will fall.

Are we hiding ourselves because we believe we need to change who we are? Step A is accepting who we are. We can’t change who we are if we don’t first accept who we are. We should accept who we are unapologetic. Then, step B would be working on making the changes.

We should also accept others just the way they are. We will always find people that won’t agree with us. We can’t change them. We just need to be clear about our options.

The more we can be vulnerable and authentic about who we are, the less it bothers us that others are looking at us, and the less feeling watched will bother us. That’s because the less we have the feeling as if we are hiding something about ourselves.

Also, when we accept every part of us unapologetically, even though if some of it we know that we need to change, then at least we won't feel like we are hiding anything.

Permit yourself to be messy. Life is messy. Failures and mess-ups help us grow, so don’t expect to be perfect. Your difference is your superpower. Nobody is you. There has never been a you, and there will never be you.

When we are certain and clear about ourselves. Being watched just becomes the other person’s trouble. Why are they watching us, don’t they have nothing interesting to do with their lives? Are they distracted? Are they lost? We will never know what is in their mind. Then, we won’t let it make us insecure about our differences. We will see that as something that is about them, rather than seeing it as it is something about us.