A Present

“Remember that book I bought last week? You asked me to let you read it as soon as I finished reading it.”

She pulled that very book out of her bag and held it out to me.

“So. I read it.”

A soft smile played across her face.

“I didn't expect you to read it so quickly. How did you like the book?”

“Oh, I liked it a lot. Probably my favorite so far.”

“In that case, I can't wait to read it. I'll give it back to you as soon as possible. You needn't worry about its appearance. I won't fold the pages.”

“You can safely fold the pages all you want,” she continued with a laugh. “Because it's your book now. My present to you.”

“My book? Are you sure? You just said it's become your favorite. Besides, it's not my birthday today to give me a present.”

“Who says you have to give presents on birthdays only? Your birthday is still so many months away. I can't wait that long. I want to give you a present now.”

“So nice and unexpected. Thank you so much. But I will still take good care of this book.”

“I'm sure you will.”

“What are your plans for Saturday? I, Phil and Laura were thinking of playing volleyball. It would be great if you could join us. Volleyball isn't as interesting without you.”

“I'd love to, but I can't, unfortunately. Maybe some other time.”

“Are you free tomorrow morning? We could sit in that coffee shop near your house and eat chocolate croissants like old times. I know you love them so much.”

“I'm afraid they don't seem as delicious to me now as they used to,” she said. You could hear the sadness in her voice. “Let's meet there next Friday,” she continued. Her face lit up again with a soft smile that somehow didn't match the expression of her large eyes. There was a slight sadness in them. Noticeable and incomprehensible.

“Are you doing all right? If something is bothering you, you can tell me about it. I'll do my best to help you. We're friends after all.” 

“I'm doing fine. Don't worry about me. And... thanks. I'm lucky to have a friend like you.”

“More like I'm lucky to have you in my life.”

She answered me with her radiant smile. A blush broke out on her pale cheeks. As pink as the sunset that shrouded the evening sky.

“Let me walk you home. It'll be dark soon.”

On the way home, the cool wind and silence became our companions. The latter I decided to break.

“You must be worried about exams next school year. You definitely shouldn't be worried. I'm sure you'll do great. Besides, there are two more months of summer ahead. You'll have time to prepare for exams and get some proper rest.”

“I'm not worried about the exams. But thank you for believing in me. I appreciate it.”

I didn't believe her words much. Those were the words of someone who two months ago was upset about getting an “A-” in algebra instead of an “A”. She's worried. But she tries not to show it. Keeps it to herself. Like she always does.

“Thanks for walking me home,” she said at the door. Her face was flushed from the long walk. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. 

“Don’t mention it. Good night.”

I turned around and walked towards the house across the street. The house I live in. I entered the house and immediately sank into the armchair by the window. I closed my eyes and her image came to my mind. Why have I been thinking about her more often lately? Do I feel something more than a friendly affection for her, which began in childhood? Even if that's the case, now is not the time to confess it. All her thoughts are probably focused on getting into college. Moreover, it is unlikely that these feelings are mutual — she has been avoiding spending time with me too often lately...

Although, today she gave me her favorite book. That's got to count for something. I should start it today. Then we'll have something to talk about next Friday. I open the first page and... a white piece of paper falls on the floor. I can see her handwriting from a distance. You can't mistake it for anyone else's. Big, rounded, beautiful. “She took notes,” I thought fondly, picking it up off the floor. But what I read on it made my blood run cold.

“June 24th, 11:00. At last, my suffering will be over.”

That date is tomorrow morning. Is that what I think it is? Is this why she gave away her favorite book?

All night long I watched the house across the street from my window and could not sleep a wink. A happy accident, if I may say so in a situation like this, had handed me her suicide note in my hands. What would have happened if I had decided to put off reading the book for another day? Just thinking about it sent a chill down my spine. What could have made her come to such a decision? I had no answer to this question...

The door of her house opened. It was nine o'clock in the morning. She came out of the door. She was wearing a blue dress that she wore only on special occasions. Her dark hair, usually in a braid, fell in long waves over her shoulders. I had never seen her more beautiful before than at that moment. With a steady step, she walked down the road, which was lined with old oaks. I followed her without giving my presence away. After half an hour's walking I was horrified to discover that I knew the route she was taking. The road led to the river…

“Elle!”

She immediately turned around. Her eyes read surprise at the sight of me. 

“Dan?”

I ran up to her and... enclosed her in my arms. 

“I don't know what made you come to this decision. But ending your life isn't the answer. It's not a solution. Every problem has a solution. Don't keep problems to yourself. Talk about them. We'll try to solve them together. Just don't do it to yourself. I... I can't imagine my life without you in it.”

I looked at her. She was blushing deeply. 

“What made you think I've decided to end my life?” 

“Isn't that why you went to the riverbank?”

Convinced that she apparently wasn't going to take any active steps toward ending her life, I released her from my tight embrace. She pointed to a small building on the bank of the river. The sign said in big letters: 

“FAMILY HEALTH CLINIC.”

“I have my last gastroenterologist appointment today at 11 a.m.,” she said embarrassed.

Friday, July 1st

“If I had known that my present would make you jump to such conclusions, I would have thought twice before giving it to you.”

“At last, my suffering will be over! What else could I possibly think?”

“I know, I know,” she said with a laugh. “I'll write more elaborate notes next time. It's just it was my last doctor's appointment that day. And you know, I love writing my feelings down.”

“Why didn't you tell me you've been sick all these three months? That's what made you walk around sad at times.”

“I didn't want you to worry unnecessarily. But even so, I still made you worry. I'm sorry. I completely forgot about that note.”

“Is that why you stopped playing volleyball with us?”

“Yeah, I had joint pain. And loss of taste as well.”

She brought a chocolate croissant to her mouth and gobbled it down with gusto. “I missed the taste of them so much. What's that in your hand?”

“It's for you. A present from me,” I replied and held out a new book to her. “I hope it's as interesting as the one you gave me. I'm glad you're fully healed. Happy recovery to you.”

“But it's not my birthday today,” she said, smiling. 

“Who says you have to give presents on birthdays only?”