Depends on the persepective

She was there, standing right in front of me, leaning against the wall, looking shy. Head down, hands fumbling. She looked around, making sure no one can see us. I couldn’t stop staring at her. The golden locks flowing around her face, those bright green eyes. She was conveying so much by doing so little: I like you, I want you near me, please don’t go.

“So… you like me?” I asked, knowing very well she won’t admit it without a bit of help.

“No!” She said, was too quickly for it to be true, she might’ve even blushed. “You’re sweet and handsome and all that, but…” She thought I was handsome. I could feel my heart quicken its pace. I couldn’t contain my smile. When she glanced up, a gasp left her mouth. I came a little closer, putting my hands on either side of her, leaning in. She admired my arms, while I just kept smiling and taking in the beauty that stood in front of me. The distance was so little now, it was almost torture to be so close yet not touch her, she closed her eyes, waiting for me. The pain, the need, the desire was so strong that I just gave in. I kissed her. she laid her hands on my chest, digging her nails into my skin. After a few seconds, we broke apart. My smile still glued to my face, hers, however. I couldn’t tell what exactly it was, but the tear of happiness that trickled down her cheek helped me realise she was just in shock. For months I’ve been noticing her glances, her smiles, her slight touches, she must’ve really wanted this, and now… She finally got it.

*

I walked out of the school late, my bio teacher had some questions about my performance, just the usual. As I looked around for Jenny (her car was still in the parking lot), I noticed some movement by the side of the building. I started walking towards it. That’s when I saw it. Jenny backing into the wall, James matching her every step. What was he up to? She was trapped now. James backed her into a wall. She looked nervous, fidgeting with the hem of her blouse. Why was she letting him come onto her? I thought she was with me. Why didn’t she leave, push him away, say no? Was she into him? When she glanced up at him… I couldn’t understand the feeling she was trying to convey, but it was different from how she looks at me. Am I just a pawn? Did she only date me to get to James? He said something and she raised her hands, shaking her head. What did he say? Did he ask about me? Did she just tell him I wasn’t an obstacle, that he shouldn’t stop on my account? It had to be close to that because James continued to move closer, their bodies now touching. I could no longer see Jenny’s face, but it must’ve been encouraging since the guy above him leaned down to give her a kiss. That’s it, I can’t stand it anymore. I had to leave… How could she?

 *

I was waiting for Reese when I saw James come out the doors. I had to hide somewhere before he notices me. James had been harassing me for months now. I just don’t know how to tell him to stop, I tried so many times to let him down easy, but he just seems to forget or ignore my words. I crept to take cover somewhere out of sight. As I turned my back and walked I stayed silent, listening for footsteps. Unfortunately, I heard some. I turned in time to see the tall boy a few feet from me. I started backing away hoping, praying even that just for today he’d let me be. My back hit the wall, I was trapped now. As always my mind froze, no comprehensive thoughts were produced, I couldn’t say a single word because of this. However, my emotions were rampant. I felt fear as much as anger and guilt. I couldn’t help but think this was somehow my fault, I should be clearer, I should discourage him more, or as a last resort tell someone. Nevertheless, I couldn’t get myself to do the latter, I felt embarrassed to complain about a cute guy paying me attention. Yet here I was feeling sick and almost trembling from just imagining what he could do to me. We were alone, I checked. I desperately tried to find anyone, but I was left to fend for myself. I tried to calm myself, maybe if I do I’ll be able to -for the first time- get him to leave. I looked at the ground, blocking his perverted smile. Then he spoke, he jumped right into it, maybe he was in hurry. He usually started with complimenting me, telling me how radiant I was that day. Not today though, not now. Not when I most needed it, I needed him to take his time, the longer he talked, the longer I had, the longer Reese had to find me, to save me. What’s taking him so long?

“So… you like me?”

“No!” I yell, hoping it’s loud enough to penetrate the fog of illusions he built around our “relationship”, but also trusting that it may be loud enough for someone to hear. Neither of my goals was achieved, no one came to rescue me and my stalker only smiled. “You’re sweet and handsome and all that, but I don’t like you, so please let me go-“ I stopped seeing the fog already ascended, nothing I say will go through to him. I could kick him and he’d still think it was a sign of my infatuation.  He came closer, putting both of his hands up. My fear grew into horror. I thought I was trapped before, but I could’ve moved out of the way, but now… I stared at his hands, knowing very well that the only thing I can do now is wait. Wait for it to be over, for him to leave, for me to break. I squeezed my eyes shut, blocking his smile and neediness out. I could feel his body pushed against me, my back forced into the wall. Then his lips came crashing down. I tried to push him away, when he didn’t budge I dug my nails into him, hoping he’d at least feel a fraction of my pain. He moved away after what seemed like minutes, I couldn’t hold back my tears, one escaped. He gentle swept it away, his smile ever-present.