Exhaustingly Rewarding

“Mom! Mom! Where’s my sweater?” I looked over at my screaming 7 year old staring at her phone near the door getting ready for school. Was she even talking to me? I hate it when she calls out to me and doesn’t make eye contact. 

“Are you talking to me Lilly?” I sigh already feeling exhausted at 7:30am. I stopped washing the dishes from breakfast to go on a hunt for her sweater when I hear a loud crash. 

I run to the living where I find my 4 year old peaking at me from behind the couch. “I’m ok!” Ellie says with a nod. 

I roll my eyes but can’t help smiling. She is such a goofball I just don’t know what to do with her. I help her out from her awkwardly wedged position when I feel a tug on my sweat pants. 

I look down to see our youngest baby girl. Looking at me with the most adorable big round eyes and the words that came out of her mouth was, “milk. Give me.” At 18 months Maddy was learning all the words she needed to get everything she wanted. I chuckled and went to the kitchen to get her a sippy cup of milk when I hear, “Mom! Sweater? I can’t find it!” 

“Try putting your phone down and actually look for it. I bet it’s easier without your eyes glued to your phone,” I said exasperated. 

“Hey honey?” Shouted my husband from upstairs. “Have you seen my beanie?” He likes to shave his head and with winter right around the corner he is always looking for his beanie. … I wish he would put it in a spot he’ll remember though because I swear he asks me this every morning. 

I sigh, then tuning out the sounds of everything around me I poured the milk and passed the sippy to my baby girl. I got my second daughter dressed and ready with her mask and backpack on. I went upstairs to the girls room and grabbed Lilly’s sweater and found my husband’s beanie on the floor along the way. I plopped the sweater over Lilly’s head, passed the beanie to my husband, gave three kisses and said goodbye to everyone as they walked out the door. 

I closed the door, turned the lock and looked down at my baby girl. She looked up at me than ran to the window to get one last look at her sisters and dad before coming back to me and demanding, “up!” 

I pick her up using a carrier and put her on my back. I walk back to the kitchen and continue washing dishes. 

This wasn’t what I imagined it would be like to have kids. Before we had any, my husband and I would always talk about rules we would have and discussed what our lives would be like with children. We would play board games together as a family, have family dinners where we all sit at the same table and no one can use any sort of device. I would cook, clean, and decorate the house while my husband was at work and the kids were at school. I would make all the baby’s food. I would never purchase that pre-made pouch with who knows what inside. Everything needed to be organic. 

“Food!” Demanded baby girl pulling my hair. I passed her a little tots pouch over my shoulder. 

… Well at least they were all organic home made food when we had our first child. 

So, going back to our dream family. My husband and I planned on working on the kids developmental milestones together. We would constantly be laughing. No tears, no yelling… no stress…. And no yelling… and no stress… 

I sighed as I finished the dishes. 

I walked back to the living room and stared. I don’t know if you can even call this a “living” room. It’s littered with random trinkets, beads, wands, princess dresses, fairy wings, rings, kids lipstick, kids nail polish, and … well you get it. There is no clean area for you to be able to sit and rest. And this is a cleaner version of the living room compared to the end of the day where little lego pieces, blocks, and other toys also add to the chaos. 

I don’t know how Ellie does this every morning before school. I’m just thankful there is school today to give me time to clean and feel like I made progress rather than clean and find more mess in an area I just cleaned. 

I placed my baby girl on the floor and started to organize.

“Do you want to help mommy clean?” I looked over at Maddy to find her smearing the lip stick all over her face and hands. She was on her way to start drawing on the floor when I rushed over to pluck it out of her hands. 

Safe! Well, almost… I looked down at my lipstick covered baby. I picked her up and took her to the bathtub. 

I stripped her down then started to fill the tub. From the corner of my eye I saw her climb out of the tub and start running to our bedroom. I figured it’d be fine so I let her be. 

Once the tub was filled I went into the bedroom to get her when I notice her standing frozen looking at me with a bow legged stance. She looked up at me, I looked down at her, we both looked at the pool forming on the carpet. 

Ugh! Of course… I let her finish before picking her up. I mean… might as well have it contained to one area rather than creating a stream to the bathroom… right? 

I put her in the tub and we have 10 minutes of blissful happiness where we can forget anything and everything other than shaping the bubbles in the tub. I’ll deal with the puddle later. 

After some intense scrubbing and screaming, most of the lipstick was off her face and she smelled clean and fresh. So it was time to pull her out. 

I dried her off, put a diaper on her, wrestled her clothes on then went back to the bedroom to stare at the wet spot. I grab the carpet cleaner and rag and got to work. Meanwhile, I can hear clanging and squeals of laughter downstairs. I can just imagine more toys littering the ground but… oh well, I didn’t finish cleaning it anyway. What’s a few more. 

After freshening up our carpet spot, I noticed it was already noon. Shoot… I didn’t make lunch yet and I need to finish feeding her quickly so I can put her down for a nap. If I miss the window she won’t go to sleep. And I really need her to take a nap… 

I run to the kitchen and look around. I see bread rolls, peas, carrots, and ham. Perfect! I start boiling the peas and carrots and placed the rolls on a plate and rolled up the ham and put that on the plate too. I stare at the pot wishing it to cook faster. 

Once all her food was on the plate, I set it on the table, grab Maddy and put her up on her high chair. I walked away to start cleaning the living room when I hear, “iPad? iPad?” 

Oops… I grab the iPad and open youtube kids to cocomelon so it can play all her favorite kids songs then walk back to the living room.  

Yes, I am that mom. I wasn’t like this with my first but I only have a couple more hours before I need to pick up my older girls and I really need to clean. 

By the time she’s done eating, I’m pretty much done cleaning. So I wash her hands and face then have some calming play time with her before nap. Today, I grabbed her magnetic blocks to work on color words. 

During our play time I saw her yawn while rubbing her eyes. It’s time! 

“Ok baby! Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere…” 

I gather her up in my arms and she drapes over my shoulder as we walk to her bed. She usually falls asleep in my arms while I rock back and forth and sing 2 lullabies. I gently place her on her bed and tip toe out. 

I finish wiping down the living room then head to the kitchen to prep dinner. I always get so amazed at how quickly the day goes by. Once I’m done prepping dinner I look at the time and see I have enough time to make some cookies. My 7 year old loves doing her homework while eating cookies.  

Once the cookies were in the oven I sat on the couch to relax and catch up on facebook. I checked in with my speech therapy group. They had really helpful tips and suggestions for children who weren’t meeting their communications milestones, which  is exactly what Ellie needs. I was reading up on some articulation strategies when I heard crying. 

I ran upstairs to pick her up and change her diaper. We practiced walking downstairs together then proceeded to get dressed to pick up her older sisters. 

I checked on the cookies and pulled them out to cool then went to the school. 

… This line… the school line is horrendous. It’s my least favorite part of the day. The school has a great system in place so that traffic doesn’t occur but … the parents don’t really listen to those rules and find whatever spot they can and squeeze into them to pick up their child, abandoning the car. Who cares about all the other cars lined up behind them or that there are parking spots available.

I first park near the preschool wing of the school to get Ellie. I unstrap Maddy, picked her up and walked to the classroom door. 

“Hi! I’m here to pick up Ellie.” 

“I’m sorry ma’am you need to have your mask on at the school grounds.” 

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry. I completely forget.” 

“that’s ok. We can wait for you to come back with your mask on.” 

“Oh… ok…” 

I rush back to my car with my baby in my arms. Plunk her on the passenger seat and grab my mask. I grab baby girl in my arms again and run back to the preschool door. 

“Hi! I’m back.” 

“Yes, Thank you for wearing your mask. Bye Ellie. Have a great afternoon.” 

I put Ellie and Maddy in their car seats then seatbelt myself in and continue driving down the congested traffic through the school maze. 

I keep an eye out for my Lilly as herds of children start pouring out of  school. 

“Hey! thop it! Mom Maddy is kickin me! Mom!!!” 

I can feel my eyes cross while I continue to keep a look out. 

There she is! I can see that bright pink sweater I handed her this morning. I roll down my window, stick my head out, and start waving my arms furiously. This catches the eyes of more than just my daughter but at this point, I don’t really care. I just need to get out of this place. 

Lilly and I finally make eye contact I see her look over at her friends and shrug. Bright red, she starts running over in my direction. 

“So, how was your day everyone?” I ask as she straps herself in. I love how independent she is with her car seat. 

“I don’t know,” says Lilly

“Good!” Shouts Ellie

“Good!” Repeats Maddy

I laugh as I weave my way out of the school pick up zone. I turn up some music for the children to listen to while I drive. 

“Thop! Mom! She’s kicking me again!” 

“Ewe. Ewe. Ewe,” says baby girl.

“Mom! Maddy took off her shoes and socks again!” Laughs Lilly.

I turn up the music a little louder. And start singing along in hopes the girls will sing with me. 

Once we get home, it’s a mad frenzy of activities. All kids try to rush out of the van to the house as I start unbuckling each one. I’m trying to hand their backpacks and school lunches to them as they run out in hopes I don’t have to carry too much stuff. The oldest two are pushing each other trying to get in the house first. I walk past them and open the door with Maddy in my arms. The older two starts squeezing themselves past me and Maddy wiggles herself down to run off with her sisters. As we all get in the house, I get my oldest daughter her milk and cookies then have her start working on her homework. I turn to Ellie and take her potty, get her dressed for ballet, fix her hair while she eats a banana.

Maddy is on the loose doing whatever she feels like doing. Once Ellie is done eating her banana, I gather everyone together to walk to ballet school. We drop off Ellie then walk back to the house. 

Maddy is on the loose again while I work on the homework with Lilly. When she’s done with her homework and snack I send her to go potty, get her dressed for her ballet class and fix her hair. 

Then I take the oldest and youngest back out with me to ballet school. We pick up Ellie then drop off Lilly. I take the youngest two back home with me while the oldest has her ballet class. 

I get dinner on the table as my husband comes home from work. Leaving all three eating dinner, I pick up the oldest. 

Once everyone is done eating, I take them up for a bath,  help them brush their teeth, put them in their night gowns, then read them a bed time story. 

We sing songs then I turn off the lights and sit in the rocking chair to wait for all three of them to fall asleep. 

I stare at the glowing clock in the dark room. 9:04pm. I can hear the silent snores of all three girls. I stand up to look at them sleeping. So peaceful. So beautiful. Wouldn’t exchange it for the world. 

Exhausted, I finish cleaning up the house… again. Once I’m doing getting the day ready for the next day I wash up and head to bed.

Next morning… 

“Mom… mom,” whispers my 7 year old, “I can’t find a sweater to wear for today.”