Just Listen

“This storm is really picking up, I can barely hear you anymore.”

“Ha, maybe it’ll be so bad my boss will cancel work tomorrow morning.”

“Ugh, my manager would never, he’d expect us to be there even if the whole store was under water”

Steph expected to hear some sort of response, even if it was just polite laughter, but the line was silent. She sat up straighter from where she was sunk into the couch cushions. “Emily?” She asked into the receiver. No response still, so she brought her cell away from face to check. The call had been disconnected. Weird. Maybe one of them had accidentally hit the end call button. But when she tried to call Emily back, the call wouldn’t even go through, just a flashing message that she had no signal.

Steph stood up, lifting the phone higher in the air, before huffing out a breath and dropping it on the couch.

She stretched out her shoulders, realizing how tensed up she was from lying on the sofa for so long while talking to Emily.

Steph walked over to the window, where she could see the rain pouring down, and the trees bending and dancing in the wind. She tugged her sweater closer to her, needing the warmth.

Maybe she should text Emily, make sure she was okay – right. No service.

Walking into the kitchen, Steph wished she had a roommate. Most of the time she was glad she had her own space, but right now? Well, she’d be willing to share. Turning on the light in the kitchen, Steph aimlessly opened the refrigerator door. Not much but leftovers and random ingredients. Steph made a mental note to go grocery shopping soon. She let the door to the fridge shut and turned to look into the food cabinet.

A box of frosted flakes was facing the front. Maybe she’d have cereal? Ah, that’s right, she didn’t have milk. She pushed aside the box. Ooh, hot chocolate packets, perfect.

Setting the electronic kettle to heat, Steph could remember growing up, sometimes during a big storm, she would sit with her mother on lawn chairs just inside the open garage door. They’d sip hot cocoa and listen to the pattering sound of the rain hitting the pavement. The lightning storms were the best, because you could see the lightning bolt light up the whole sky. Those memories felt magical to her at the time.

Her mom always said it was something she used to do with her own father, Steph’s grandpa. Maybe that’s why they stopped doing it around the same time he passed. Heart disease.

Or maybe not. Maybe Steph got too old for that. Or at least thought she did. Steph wished she hadn’t. She suddenly wished she could be back home, sitting on lawn chairs in the garage with her mother, but those memories were states and years away.

The tea kettle clicked off, breaking off Steph’s thoughts. She went through the motions, tearing the packet and pouring in the mix, then pouring in the boiling hot water. She mixed it, and brought it to her coffee table. Sitting down on the sofa, she picked up her phone again. This was a cute moment, right? Maybe she could take a picture of her hot cocoa in front of the window, and post it on her Instagram.

She opened her phone to take the picture, but the last open app on her phone was the out of service call with Emily. She put her phone back down, suddenly decided this didn’t feel like a moment she wanted to capture, at least not in that way.

She took a sip of her cocoa, but the heat burned her tongue. She just sighed, and placed it carefully back on the coffee table.

She sat for another moment, then stood up again, desperate for something to do. She walked back to the window, looking out into the rain and wind. It felt like looking another world.

Steph remembered waking up on cold winter mornings, only to look outside and see that it had snowed overnight. A literal winter wonderland, she remembered thinking, the blinding white blanket seemed to transport her ordinary lawn into a magical place. Back then though, everything had seemed magical.

Now, through the window, Steph could see across the window from her apartment building, a little girl with her father, sitting on their covered porch, watching the rain. They sat in their rocking chairs, occasionally speaking to each other, but mostly just watching.

Steph stood there for a little longer than she should have, watching them watch the world. She felt a stab of wistful envy. That could have been her, states and years away. But she was grown now.

That envy paired with her urge to do something gave her a sudden burst of energy. She turned sharply away from the window and went into her closet, digging through her winter jackets. She shuffled everything around until she saw the right shade of purple and tugged it out, then pulled her raincoat on over her sweater. She dug through her closet some more to find a pair of rainboots she had, which had been gifted to her and worn only once. They were black with bright yellow ducks on them, and Steph vowed to wear them more often, starting now. She pulled them on, grabbed her keys and headed downstairs.

Pulling open the outer door of her apartment building, Steph hesitated for a moment. There was no roof or anything to cover the steps to outside, so she could already feel mist hitting her face.

Steph stood there for a second, drinking in the smell of the fresh rain. It brought her right back to those days sitting in the garage. She suddenly remembered one time, she asked her mom why they did that. She had been bored that day, so she wanted to something more than just sit still and watch the rain. She remembered clearly now, her mom’s response.

“I think that nature is the universe’s way of speaking to us. It’s times like these that we get to sit and hear what it has to say.”

With a sudden childlike glee, Steph steps out into the rain, and listens to the universe.