Hazy Memory

I don’t remember much of that night, but I wish I did.

I remember seeing her earlier at the party, her long, curled hair slightly covering her face, like she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to be seen or not. The white dress she was wearing that stopped just before her upper thigh, clinging so nicely to her curves leaving me salivating at the mouth. The way it was framing her hourglass figure perfectly, showing off her long olive legs and smooth skin, almost in a teasing way, like she wanted attention. And that’s what I did, I gave her the attention she was so clearly craving.

It's not my fault she changed her mind last minute.

I remember the dozen beers I had swiftly guzzled down beforehand. Dutch courage? An excuse for why I did it? Who knows? But as I shot gunned my last beer, I watched her stumble out the back door making a spectacle out of herself – like she was trying to get me to see, and I knew it was the perfect time. She started staggering towards the woods looking around cluelessly making random turns leading herself deeper and deeper into the ill-lit unknown, away from the other party goers.  Away from anyone that could possibly hear her.

This was going to be easy.

I went out the front door to get there before she did, and I waited. Stood under the moon’s rays, with my perfect blonde hair shining brightly looking like her knight in shining armour. After that I blacked out, I remember bits and pieces like me swiftly pulling her in for a kiss. Her soft plump lips crashing into mine, I delicately placed my hand on her back and slowly slid my hand further down her dress. Testing the waters. I felt her slightly jump and a light squeak leave her mouth. I kissed her harder to stop her from making anymore noises, I wasn’t going to let her attract any attention, no one was going to stop me from accomplishing this mission. I pulled away and looked into her eyes, her dilated pupils so large making it almost impossible to see her dark chocolate-coloured eyes, there was not a single thought going on in her head, I could tell, she was completely and utterly intoxicated.

It was go time.

I didn’t waste a single second, within a minute we were on the cold, dirty floor me lying on top of her. I had one hand reaching round the back of her dress trying to find the zip as my other was holding her wriggling face still. Her eyes had suddenly sprung open as if she had completely sobered up. It was almost like she was trying to get away, like she didn’t want this to happen. I was confused, that’s never happened. I gave up with the zip, stupid thing was stuck, and my time was running out, she was starting to become more vocal and soon one of her little cronies she arrived with were going to be looking for her.

It was now or never.

I pushed up the white fabric, which was slowly turning a darker colour from the dirt, up her leg revealing more of her attractive olive skin. I looked once again at her pink, moist lips and leaned in for another kiss silencing her from protesting my actions. The fabric came to a halt just below her hips, revealing her most intimate parts to me.

I ask her straight, ‘do you want to?’ What? I’m not a monster, I’m obviously going to ask for permission first. I just won’t necessarily listen to the answer.

‘No’.

Spoken in the tiniest voice I’ve ever heard from anyone, surely, she didn’t mean it. ‘Don’t tell anyone’ I spit back. I wasn’t too worried, it’s not like she was in a state that would allow her to remember anything. I certainly wasn’t. But I’m not risking anyone finding out a girl said ‘no’ to me. That would completely ruin my image, especially the girl in question being Patricia Belly of all people.

No one ever says no, she’s too past gone to know what her perfect lips are saying, that must be the reason for her rejection. So, I ignore her. I carry on because soon enough she will be enjoying it, every girl walks away with a smile on their face once I’m done with them, and this situation wasn’t going to be any different. I’ll put it down to shyness on her part and that was not going to deter me.

This was happening whether she wanted it to or not. 

Under the midnight sky, the wind howled through the woodland forest, penetrating through the upper treeline. The late gusts roared across the leafy floor, a terrifying din of snapping branches and crushed leaves.

But nothing was going to stop me.

She let out some more noises but then they stopped. Her mouth started moving around as if she was trying to say ‘no’ but couldn’t quite get her voice box to work. My hand covered her mouth throughout the ordeal, I wasn’t risking anything. Everything happened so fast, like a band-aid, rip it off and it’s not too bad. That’s what I kept telling her, it will all be over soon as long as she was a team player. I have a perfect track record when it comes to getting with the girls at school, no way was Patricia Belly going to ruin that. Aside from my good looks, athletic skills, and charming personality, it’s all I’ve got going for me. 

My muscular arms gripped to the underside of her body with an iron strength, forcing her down with every forward thrust of my posterior, channelling the beacon of my libido into hers. Sweat cascaded down both of our naked bodies. Mine, trickled down the curvature of my back with gratuitous pride, why wouldn’t I have pride? Once again, what I wanted I got. Hers crashed down her cheeks with the immense terror and helplessness.

Girls.

Always being dramatic.

What sounded like blood-curdling screams of a young woman resonated across the desolate landscape, but I knew the truth, they were screams of pleasure. I would know, I’m quite used to hearing it.

And just like that, it was done.

Just as quickly as I undid them, I zipped my trousers back up and wasted no time in finding my feet and walking away, back into the party like nothing unusual happened. Nothing unusual really did happen, that was a typical Saturday night for me. I made my way back into the kitchen and grabbed another beer. As I looked out the window, I saw tear-filled eyes looking back at me. She was there with a phone to her ear, frozen, like she was paralyzed and didn’t know what to say. This was perfect. I tap a random girl next to me on the shoulder and tell her that Patricia is calling the cops on the party and getting it broken up. Soon the whole party knows, and sirens can be heard in the distance. Suddenly, she was the villain and I, the hero had just saved everyone. That was never part of my plan but making her public enemy number one and myself the hero of the hour does help.

No one would believe her now.

The teenagers all start running out the door, every which way not wanting to be caught doing drugs or underage drinking. They all leave but make a point of telling Patricia what they think of her. She stays still, frozen in shock with her now bleeding lips trembling trying to not breakdown then and there. Her white dress stained with a mixture of dirt and blood making it almost impossible to recognise it was ever white to begin with, I stop looking at her for a split second and when I turn back around, she’s gone. Just like that. 

I see her from a far at school a few weeks later and our eyes lock. A charming smirk forms on my face as I start to make my way over to her, she is sporting a completely different set of emotions like a deer caught in headlights, dressed from head to toe in black. Almost as if she’s scared or something. Surely not, it’s not like I did anything bad, if anything I did her a favour. If only she would actually open her now scabby lips and speak to let people know she willingly slept with me, Luca Smith, she would be crazy popular, that is if she remembers it happening. As I get closer to approaching her, she scurries away like I was coming at her with a gun pointing at her square in the face and that’s when I knew.

She remembers that night, but she wishes she didn’t.