Photographs

PHOTOGRAPHS.

Veer walked in to find the house in complete darkness. “Natasha? Honey I’m home”. Dead silence. Veer sighed. This was not unusual behavior. He and Natasha had been living together for almost three years now. They had met in college and he had immediately fallen for her. Even though she was the reserved kid in class, only talking with her gang, he fell for her quietness and the grace with which she carried herself. Although she never talked to him outside of college, she would often help him and his friends with their studies. Patiently explaining different problems. When he finally got the courage to text her, a simple “hi” with fingers shaking over the keyboard, she texted back almost immediately. He was surprised to find how easy it was to talk to her. And even though he didn’t know it then, she had the biggest crush on him too. After months of texting and teasing one another in class he finally confessed his love and she accepted him. Veer shakes himself out of his thoughts and walks to their bedroom, finding Natasha sleeping on a pile of blankets. There were crumpled up sheets of paper in the dustbin and her laptop was left open. Veer goes over to her and brushes back a strand of her hair. Her face is sticky with sweat and tears. He gives her a kiss on her forehead and gently closes the laptop leaving the papers intact. He gets up and leaves the room to take a shower.

Natasha grew up in an abusive home. Her father suffered from clinical depression and was an alcoholic. In his rages he would often fight with his wife. Natasha was honest from him from the very beginning. She had told him of the fights and how her Appa would often lock himself in his room for hours. He was surprised to hear about her life as she never showed any of this in class. It only made him love her more. He wonders if all of her father’s rages was the reason for her to hate marriage. The sound of a crash wakes him up for his thoughts again. He quickly dries himself off and rushes to the kitchen to find Natasha picking up the shards of a broken mug. “Tea?” she asks. He nods his head and quietly starts picking up the rest of the pieces. “Vee…” she murmurs. “Hmm?”. “I’m sorry”. He looks at her with a puzzled expression. “For breaking the mug?”. “No, I’m just sorry in general”. He picks up the remaining pieces and drops them in the dustbin. He turns to find Natasha watching him. “Nat, you don’t have to be sorry” Veer replies and wraps her up in a hug. “How long will it be before I turn into him?” she asks, her voice muffled by his t-shirt. Veer draws circles on her back and hugs her tighter in reply. “You won’t turn into your dad Nat.” You can’t be like that even if you try, he thinks to himself.

 “I called him today.” Veer freezes, finally understanding the dried tears. “He says, he would like to meet me” she looks up at him. He tries to read her expression. She was afraid. “Do you want to? I can come along if you want me to.” “I’m still thinking about it. I didn’t think he would pick up, and then when he did, I didn’t know what to say” she detangles herself and starts putting the kettle on the stove. Veer hops on to the countertop. “I just want to get it over with Vee. I mean, I still hate him for what he did to us. But, now I kind off understand why he did it. I’m not trying to mend our relationship or anything. I just I don’t know”. Veer doesn’t say anything, just nods along. “Now that Amma and Anu have shifted to their new apartment I feel bad for him.” Natasha looks at Veer waiting for him to say something. “I think you should see him too Nat. Where are you going to meet him?”. “He said we could meet at his house.” Veer slides off the countertop and picks out the mugs, adding sugar and watches as Natasha pours in the tea. His heart breaks for her but he is careful to not show any sympathy. She hates it. “I will just go, and get it over with Vee…” Veer hugs her again and gives her a kiss on her forehead.

Natasha walks up to her old home, a million memories tugging at the back of her mind. “It’s going to be okay.” She thinks to herself. She rings the doorbell and waits outside on the verandah. The cushions and chairs are still the same and the shoes are kept in ordered stacks. “Not much has changed Nat…” Natasha turns around at the voice and finds her Appa smiling at her. She smiles back. He holds the door open for her. Natasha smiles at the photographs hanging on the walls and sits down on the sofa. It feels weird for her to be acting so formal at a place that used to be her home for nearly two decades. “How are you?” She watches as her Appa sits down on his rocking chair. “I’m okay…”. “How about some tea Nat?” She nods, slightly cringing at the awkwardness in their conversation. When he leaves the room, Nat pulls out her phone and texts Veer. “I reached Vee.” She could hear him bustling around the kitchen. When he returns, he finds Nat staring at the show-case. “I framed some of our old photos. Look at Anu…” Natasha laughs at the image of Anu sitting atop an elephant crying her eyes out.

 She walks back to the sofa and picks up her mug of tea. Her Appa picks up his and Natasha notices the similarities between them. They both gripped the mug the same way. Amma always used to say that Nat and him were so similar in their actions. Natasha used to hate hearing that as a kid. “How’s Veer?” Natasha refocuses at the question. “He is doing good. He got promoted last month.” She feels proud of Veer. He really gives his all in everything. “How are you doing…Appa?” Natasha looks at her father, feeling guilty for some reason. “Ahh Nat, it’s been a long time since you called me that” he is smiling slightly. “I’m doing okay Nat. I have been seeing a counsellor for the past couple of months. I have started taking math tuitions.” Natasha looks up in surprise. “Don’t look so shocked Nat. I am not that bad at math.” Natasha laughs at that. “I am happy for you Appa” she replies. And she feels genuinely happy for him.

“Before you go, I would like to give you something” he says. “What things?” she asks curiously. He leaves the room and returns back with a small box. “It’s just some photographs. I wanted to give them to you since I have too many…” he trails off. Natasha opens the box to find five to six framed photographs. She picks them up and looks at them. Pictures taken from her first birthday, Amma and Appa holding a newborn Anu, photos of them in their school uniform and one with Natasha siting on her father’s shoulders with the sea behind them. Her eyes fill with tears and she looks up to find her dad looking lovingly at their pictures together. “Thank you” she says and he looks at her with sad eyes. She gets up and picks up her handbag. “I’ll get going then…” Her Appa also gets up and walks to the door with her. “Nat… I know what I did to you and our family is not forgivable. But, if it’s not too much to ask for… do visit me sometimes.” Natasha looks at her father. Her Appa. The first person who showed her how to draw houses. The person who taught her how to whistle. The person who used to cry whenever she cried. And a thousand other loving memories comes to her mind. She nods her head and smiles at him. As she walks out, she can hear him calling out “Bring Veer the next time you visit”. She smiles to herself.

“Uff Nat, I was so worried” Veer tells her. “Me too Vee”. “So, he really has changed?”. “I think so. I mean he is going for counselling now. He asked me to visit him again and to bring you along”. “I wouldn’t mind that.” Natasha looks at Veer. And finds him looking back at her with genuine happiness. Her heart fills with love and she hugs him tightly.

“Will you marry me Nat?”