BE CAREFUL!

©TRT…BECAREFUL52424

  BE CAREFUL

“Someday, I’ll be rich, independent, admired, and beautiful,” the twelve-year-old girl told her Grandma.

Grandma rolled her eyes and smiled, saying, “Be careful what you wish for.”

The girl hadn’t heard this expression before. She remembered ‘be careful what you wish for’ decades later.

All she had wished for as a preteenager had come true. The 64-year-old woman was unhappy despite being rich, independent, admired, and still good-looking. The irony of her situation was not lost on her.

Life was missing something. Retail therapy only gave her so much enjoyment. It was a temporary thrill that evaporated after the initial rush of enthusiasm. The mature lady wondered, ‘What was I thinking?’ She wished Grandma was around to listen to her rants and raves on the subject. And, she wondered if wishing it so had made it happen. If she could do it all over, what would she wish for instead of independence, admiration, looks, and wealth?

Is it true that ‘what we think about, we bring about?’

Does visualization work? Well, it did for the lady. Interestingly, she didn’t realize how powerful visualization and words are.  

“What was I thinking?” She asked.

Forty years of a ‘manageable marriage’, living in a major city with stressful situations being the norm of a fast-paced life of achievement and competition had cost her health, strained family relationships, and wearing a facade around most people was the price. Few people knew her well, and those who did probably had difficulty defining her.

She took for granted most of the things that mattered in her prosperous life, such as health, loyalty, creature comforts, sanity, and serenity.

“Can we have a re-do?” she asked while pouring herself a stiff drink, talking to no one. She realized her wishes had cost her health, too—too late.

Being discharged from the hospital is how the day began. Discharge papers with the diagnosis: ‘4th Stage Cancer’ sat on the entry table. She wouldn’t let them come further into her home. Like an unwanted guest, the papers with instructions waited to be addressed in the foyer.

“Not now!” She sighed. “It’s cocktail time. I need a good soak in my bathtub.” And she proceeded as if the day had not happened. She acted as if someone else, not her, had heard, ‘4th Stage Cancer, Six months of intensive treatment, bald, tumors, heart problems, 50% chance of surviving and second opinion.’

Gazing out the picture window, she said to no one, “The roses need to be dead-headed.” 

“Dead!” she sobbed and began to cry.

“Stop!” she scolded herself. “You are not a crybaby. Pull yourself together, take a bath, and sip your martini. You will handle this crisis tomorrow!”

Life throws us curve balls now and then. It is not so much what happens as how we cope and handle the circumstances. She had mastered figuring out difficult situations with complex people and surmounting inconceivable problems, and this day laid her bare emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  

“Be careful what you wish for!” Grandma’s words echoed in her ears.

‘All that I have will be evaporated. It will be very costly. I’ll lose my independence, my looks, and my status. All I have achieved must be offered, exchanged for health and longevity. It’s overwhelming!’ She thought. ‘Stop thinking about it tonight. Tomorrow will come soon enough. Let it go!’

Several martinis later, a scented bath, and dressed in soft slumber clothing, she slept fitfully. She ignored the phone and messages. She turned off the disturbing ringer. She needed peace. She needed alone time. She needed not to think. Her best thinking got her here . . . ‘4th Stage Cancer’.

How do people cope with drastic news and tragedies? We see awful happenings on the evening news, sigh and shake our heads, turn off the TV, and resume our lives.

Death, severe illness of loved ones, tragic accidents, 9-11, and world wars are dealt with by groupthink. We move forward collectively.

Individually, coping skills for a ghastly diagnosis are handled differently because of their very personal nature. Whether collectively or separately, coping is a life-changing event that happens in a moment.

“Where was I a week ago,” she pondered over her first cup of coffee. “Things seemed so simple, easy . . . manageable.”  

So, in daylight the next day, she sat at her desk with a legal pad and pen, noting what she must accomplish before treatment begins Monday. It was Saturday morning. She had less than 24 hours to regroup and redesign her life of comfort, wealth, independence, and beauty.

There is nothing pretty about Chemotherapy, Radiation, Surgery, blood draws, vomiting, or a drug-induced bald woman.

Meeting with her attorney is impossible before the dance with Chemo drugs begins.

She telephones her support staff (housekeeper, gardener, bookkeeper, etc.) and informs them of their added responsibilities and that additional time is scheduled.

Her children rally around her. They plan meal deliveries, rides to treatment facilities, doctor appointments, and other medical and legal activities.

It’s all a whirlwind of activity with no time to feel, emotionally digest, or spiritually dissect her life.

The one statement she remembers reading on a bumper sticker a few weeks before all this craziness began becomes her mantra, “RELAX. GOD IS IN CHARGE!”

She repeats it over and over throughout the weekend, “RELAX! GOD IS IN CHARGE!”

Six months later, she is still alive and kicking. Kicking, but not too high, and still reciting her mantra, “RELAX! GOD IS IN CHARGE!”

At the end of her treatment, she vows to remake her life, starting with a wish.

I wish to spend the rest of my life healthy, happy, and peaceful, with beauty surrounding me. I want to see the bigger picture of what’s essential for fulfilling my reassessed wishes.  

Each day, I wish to bless the day with thankfulness, acknowledging two miracles . . . I opened my eyes.

My wish is for love to surround me. Let it be, and let it begin with me. May a white light of love be a mile wide around me, a mile high, and a mile deep. May I see beauty everywhere. May peace be ever-present. 

She carefully analyzed her wish list, noting lessons learned from her Grandma’s words, “Be careful what you wish for!”

And, then, she added, “And they lived happily ever after!” 

It’s all good. Carefully wished.