Caresses of Starlight

Cold, lonely, sad stars…. That’s what they are, she thought to herself as she walked through the deserted park, merely a flicker of shadows, the black of her mourning clothes blending with the black of the night. She stopped and stared at those cold lonely stars again, alone, completely alone in the world now, she sighed, her heart breaking all over again from the thought. 

She tilted her head back, wishing the gentle sounds of the trees swaying in the soft breeze could drown out the horrific sounds echoing back to her from her memories. The screech of tires on the pavement, the crunch of metal on metal, the screams of the people on the sidewalks, who could do nothing to stop the horrendous scene unfolding in front of them. 

“Excuse me? Hey, are you alright?” A soft voice, full music and lightness, asked from behind her.

She spun around the breeze catching her dark hair and blew it across her face temporarily blinding her. She brushed it away revealing the most beautiful girl she had ever seen, her light hair shining in the soft starlight, where she was dark, this girl was light. Pure and beautiful. 

“Are you ok?” The girl asked, again, a soft smiling playing on her perfect lips.

“Oh, er yes… I’m fine. Thank you for asking,” she said quietly, but her voice trembled.

“Is that why you’re crying, alone in a park, in the middle of the night?” The girl asked gently.

She reached up and felt the dampness on her cheek only realizing now that she was, indeed, crying, “I find walking helps me think. I needed to clear my mind but it didn’t work.”

“Would you like to talk about it? I’ve been told that I’m an excellent listener.”

She watched this strange girl for a moment weighing and deciding, “that’s a very kind offer but you look as though you were headed somewhere special in that dress,” she said taking the opportunity to look the girl over again, her eyes traveling the length of that beautiful dress, made of a strange shimmering material that clung and hugged her frame perfectly.

The girl smiled softly, “Not anywhere I can’t delay getting to, to spend time with a beautiful woman such as yourself. Especially one who looks as though she could use a friend.”

She hesitated at revealing such personal things to a strange girl she met in the park, but spoke anyway, though not entirely sure what prompted her to, “I’m out here because I cannot bare to go home to an empty house that echoes with reminders of those who I buried today. So I came for a walk in the park and given the fact it’s dark out apparently I’ve been out here longer than I thought. Not that it matters, I have found myself very much alone in this world.”

“I’m sorry, do you mind me asking what happened?”

“There was a drunk driver. My dad… my dad was driving us, my mother and me, to a restaurant for dinner, to celebrate me getting a really great job. We never made it to dinner, it was a head on collision, the other driver swerved into our lane, my dad never had the chance to get out of the way. The other driver was going way too fast. I was in the backseat, I’m the only one who survived. I have no one now. I buried my parents today. I’m only twenty four, I should’ve had years left with them. Now I’ll never see them again.” 

The girl put a shockingly warm and comforting hand on her shoulder, “I am so very sorry for your loss, but you aren’t ever truly alone in this world, or not for long at least. Not if you’re willing to look.”

She smiled sadly at the girl, “You’re very kind, what’s your name?”

“It is very difficult to pronounce my real name, so you may call me Stella. What is yours?”

“I’m Eva,” she said quietly smiling a little, “you know I start that new job in a couple of weeks. Maybe you’re right, maybe I’ll meet some new people there and not be quite so alone.” 

Stella smiled, “Good I’m glad you can see that.”

She returned Stella’s smile and looked up at the stars again, “you know I have always found the starlight to be cold and lonely, but now… now it feels comforting. Although, perhaps that is just you being here. I don’t know why, and I know I don’t know you but you’re comforting to be around.”

“I’m glad that you find it comforting to be near me now,” Stella said gently, “I hope that, although it still hurts, your burden of grief has lifted at least a little.”

“It has. I, obviously, still miss my parents and am still upset and scared and I’m sure I will be for a very long time… but I also feel that things will eventually be ok. I feel like I know what I need to do with myself now. I know I’ll always miss them but I don’t feel held back by it now. It’s strange how suddenly the feelings changed. Stella? Do you have any family?”

Stella tilted her head back to look at the stars, “I have a huge family, all of whom I love dearly.”

She smiled, “You’re lucky. Hold onto them tightly, Stella, you never know when you may lose them.”

Stella looked back to her, “I will. Eva, just remember that found family can be just as amazing as blood family. You’ll have a family again, just you wait. There are great things in store for you, and you’re going to be amazing.”

“I….Thank you Stella, do you think… that perhaps I could see you again sometime?” She asked hopefully.

“As nice as that would be. I don’t know if that would be an option anytime soon. I live very far away, you see. I’m just here for a visit, although I do believe that we just might get the chance to meet again but I can’t say when.”

“Oh, well that’s too bad. I would’ve liked the chance to know you better.”

“Don’t be too disappointed, Eva. How about this, if you ever wish to speak to me again, go outside at night and speak to the stars. They hear more than you know, they’ll carry your message to me. Look to the night sky and see that no matter what is happening in your life you’re not alone in the universe,” Stella said softly resting her hand lightly on her cheek, “now take care of yourself, for I must go.”

“Of course. Thank you for your kindness and for helping me see that I’m not completely alone.”

Stella smiled and dropped her hand back to her side. She studied her for a moment before turning and walking away, disappearing from view around a bend in the path.

Three years had passed since her bizarre meeting with Stella in that starlit park. Three years and she still couldn’t get that strange and beautiful girl from her mind, though she had moved on in life. She had an amazing home, job, and wonderful friends just as Stella had promised her those years ago. 

She stood outside on her back deck, looked up to the night sky and smiled, “Even after all of this time I still feel a little silly doing this but I have to hope that perhaps you do hear me so, Stella, it has been three years today since our only meeting and I still think of you every day. I wish we could have met again by now but as disappointed as I am, I still remember that you said we would see each other again. Everything else you told me came true, I’m very happy with my life, even though I wish every day that my parents were here to celebrate with me but I know wherever they are, they’re together and they’re proud of me, so I still hold out hope that we may find each other again. 

There is, however, something I wanted you to know, I have found someone who makes me very happy and I’m going to ask her to move in with me tomorrow. I know that you may come back one day but I can’t hold out forever for someone, whom I met only the once and didn’t tell me for sure when we would see each other again. So I’ve moved on for the most part. I think part of me will always belong to you, my beautiful Stella, but I do love this woman and I know that you wanted me to be happy and this is how I'll be happy.” She wiped a tear away, “I told her about you, you know? I told her how you pulled me back to myself and how I still talk to you sometimes. Pouring my heart out to the stars so they might carry it to you. She thinks you were my guardian angel, I’m not sure about that myself, but… perhaps you were. Or at least something similar. Whatever the case may be I’m so very glad we got to meet, and I’m so very disappointed that it was just the once, but I wonder if that was how it was meant to be. So thank you, my beautiful Stella. I hope these words find their way to you, wherever you are, so that you can know that I have found the life you said I would.”

As she stood in her quiet backyard staring up at the night sky, she could have swore the stars shone a little brighter when she finished speaking. The warm, comforting, loving stars.