The Final List

I yawn, trying not to close my eyes. It’s three thirty in the morning, I’m tired, I’m sick, this job was a bad one, this one did not go as planned. Now here I am, driving down this obscure, dark, bleak road, in the middle of nowhere USA, trying to find a place where I can clean up. As I turn the curve, I see this old, dilapidated building a little way down on the right. Pulling into the gravel lot, I look around and of course no one is out currently. I’ll take a chance. I peak inside and see it’s deserted, most likely hasn’t been occupied in at least ten years. I break the window of the abandoned gas station and play with the lock and hinge until I somehow unlock the door. Walking to the bathroom, I stripe off the blood-soaked T-shirt I was wearingand toss it in the corner. A little brown mouse scamper away. Wow another year has come and gone and here I stand in front of this ugly disgusting sink washing some poor slobs’ blood from my hands. I look into the broken dirty mirror and can’t understand what I’m really seeing. Earlier today when I went to see my mom for her New Years Eve Brunch, she tells me to make a list of items I’d like to try to change as my New Year Resolution. Looking down at my bloody hands, I think I will start with that.  I look around the building and find a pencil with a little lead still showing. I find an old notebook and I start writing.

Item #1: Try not to Kill anyone.  

Simple to the point. Don’t Kill.

Item #2: Try not to put myself in to situations where I might have to kill someone.

Item #3: Try to change jobs to one where I’m not being asked to kill someone.

Item #4: Try to make new friends, the kind that don’t ask me to kill anyone.

That’s not a bad start. I look down at my fingers, still a little bloody, so I go back to the sink and scrub a little more to get the blood off.  I know the human body has some 9 or 10 pints of blood circulating through the veins.  But this seemed to be so much more, I guess when I cut him, I hit one of those arteries, I always hear about, the blood just pumped out so fast and it flew everywhere. I look down at the red tinted water as it slowly flows down the drain, my mind wanders and I think of a few more items.  I grab the pencil and paper and start to write. 

Item #4: Try to improve my vocabulary so I can communicate with people better.

Item #5: Try to learn a few new languages so I can understand foreign people when they try to tell me not to kill them.

I think that is what this guy was trying to do but we just didn’t communicate, I didn’t understand a thing he was saying. 

Cometes un error, no soy el tipo que estás buscando, no hice nada malo.

I understood that he said’ error’, but it was too late, I was ordered to kill him and now there he lays on the plastic in the truck of my car. I look out the window at my little Honda Accord. It was a tight fit to get him in that trunk. Now that’s another way of looking at New Year Resolutions, maybe on helping me do my job better.  I start to write some more.

Item #6: Buy a vehicle with the largest truck possible for jobs like this.

Item #7: Buy better weapons.

My gun misfiring that first shot didn’t help my situation at all.

Item #8: Take a self-defense class.

After my gun misfired, I had to fight him to the ground, he got a few good punches.

Item #9: Buy a bigger, sharper knife set, with all kinds of blades.

Item #10: Ask for a Raise.

They are not paying me enough for what I’m doing, for the risk I’m taking.

Ten items, that’s not a bad list. I finish washing my hands and grab an old rag off the ground and dry my hands with that. I look at the rag in my hands, it’s an old T-Shirt with the words, NEW YORK, printed across the front. I’ve never been to New York. My mind wanders again.  I grab the paper and pencil and begin to write.

Item #11: Travel, go to New York, to Times Square, to Madison Square Gardens. 

Wait, no, too much crime thought, might get hurt.

Item #12: Drive up into Canada, then over to Alaska. 

Too cold.

Item #13: Drive down south, cross over to Mexico. 

I’m wanted by the Cartel, that may not be a good idea.

Item #14: Fly to Europe, go to Germany, France, England, Ireland. Yeah.

Item #15:  Buy a new ID, buy a new Passport.

Item #16: Quit my job.

I look at the last three items on my list. I put the list in my pocket, toss the rag back onto the floor and head out to the car. Getting in, I smile and laugh just a little. Yeah, I’m going to quit my job, I’m going to travel. I’ve saved up a lot of money, I need to something different.  I need to make major changes this new year, I need to start this next year off in a whole new direction. I drive to the designated meet. I get out of the car, pour the gasoline over the entire car, and strike the match. I watch the flames take hold and car ignites. I walk over to the van sitting off in the distance. 

“Jobs done” the man behind the wheel says to me.

“Yeah”, he’s just a little toasty now just like I was asked to do” I replied.

“Slight change in plans I’m afraid” the man said.

I didn’t see it coming, the knife in the back, twisted and plunged deeper and deeper. I gasped but couldn’t move. I crumpled to the ground.

“Clean his pockets” the man in the van said to the man who knifed me.

I laid there, my 9 or 10 pints of blood flowing from my wound. Slowly fading, I can hear what they are saying, but I can’t talk.

“What did you find.”

“Some kind of List, looks like the boss was right, he was going to flee the country.” He laughs. “Looks like he was writing a New Years Resolution List. Guess it’s not going to do him any good.

As I fade farther and father into nothingness, I quit my job, and I’m going to travel.