Only Human

Log Date 475.551 

My ship awakened me from stasis, and I have spent much of the day allowing the medical systems to work on my physical recovery. Once I was feeling well enough to look over the ship’s logs, I discovered something unexpected. I am not on our colony planet of Oracia. My ship has suffered a severe mechanical malfunction, and autolanded itself upon the nearest planet that would support life; a planet which happens to show few signs of a technologically developed civilization. 

Once I have completed this log, I will begin assessing the problem and determine if it can be repaired without a complete overhaul at space dock. Given the limited resources on this world, I don’t expect that I will be able to obtain any assistance from the native population. I’m alone here, and completely on my own.

Log Date 475.552 

My problems are even worse than I initially feared. The ship’s elementals stream emitter has completely failed. This means that not only will the ship not fly, but it is also unable to process food or water. And that also means I missed my first post-stasis meal, and that put me in a cranky mood.

I spent much of the day disassembling the emitter (I’m sure you know how much I enjoyed doing that!). It will require a complete rebuild, which will take at least fifteen cycles. The good news is that I have most of what I need on board to make the repairs. And back to the bad news; my very limited supply of food and water. I have enough water for two or three cycles, but I have an immediate need for food. It looks like I will be gearing up to visit this undeveloped world and forage for edible plant life. I hope that I don’t encounter any of the primitive native species; my only goal is to repair my ship, return to space, pick up my previous course, and then go back into stasis. Fortunately, the day and night cycle of this planet is similar to Oracia, and I believe that I can move under the cover of darkness.

Log Date 475.553

I survived my first foray onto the surface of the planet. While I was out, I heard running water nearby, so I will soon make another trip to retrieve some.

I have the food processor connected to an alternate power source, and while it can’t process food packets, it can sanitize plant matter I found, and it will be fit for my consumption. I’ll have something to sustain me while I work on the emitter, which is better than nothing.

Speaking of the emitter, I’ve discovered that I do not have the organic nanotube screen that separates the two halves. It is not included in the 117-43A rebuild kit and is only available as a separate purchase. Whose brilliant idea was it to not include the nanotube screen in a rebuild kit? Anyway, that’s the bad news for the day. The good news is that I can use my 3D printer to create one with the materials that I have in the ship’s maintenance pod, and I now have it working on the nanotube. But this will set be back at least another ten cycles on this forsaken planet. Once darkness falls, I plan to make a second foray outside the ship and retrieve some water as well as additional food.

Log Date 475.554 

This planet is a primitive nightmare! I was making my way through a densely forested area to the water source when I noticed something unusual, a very bright, flickering light. I decided that, to satisfy my own scientific curiosity, I would attempt to discover the source of the light. As I crept toward it, I realized it was fire! There were several alien beings positioned around the fire, consuming what appeared to be a meal. The smell was horrid; I believe they may have been eating the cooked flesh of a fellow inhabitant of this planet. As I crouched in the underbrush watching this nightmare, I could hear them vocalizing sounds. Apparently, this primitive species is advanced enough to control fire and orally communicate with each other. Periodically I would hear one of them speak a series of guttural sounds, and then the others would erupt with a barking sound. ‘Arr arr arr’ is the only way I can describe it, but my words fall short of the true sound.

Eventually their fire began to wane, and they all began to open their mouths and make another strange noise. ‘Haaaawwwww’ is what it sounds like. A mating ritual perhaps? After several of them made the same sound, they all moved into several small structures. I had no desire to stay and listen to their mating sounds (if that’s what they were doing) so I left and returned to my ship without any water.

Log Date 475.555 

I will admit, my curiosity has been piqued, and while I wait for the 3D printer, I am forced to make another foray to the planet and observe the native population. After all, I am a scientist, and however repulsive, I would be remiss in my duties if I did not observe and record what I’ve discovered here. As soon as darkness begins to fall, I will once again leave the safety of the ship. I became distracted and failed to retrieve any water yesterday, so I have no other choice but to leave the ship again.

Log Date 475.556 

I am fortunate to have survived! I believe that the native’s fire ritual must be something that they do every cycle as darkness begins to fall. Perhaps it is a fear of the darkness, or a primitive worship of this planet’s moon, much like our own distant ancestors. I’m still not certain of the purpose. But anyway, I was nearly captured by one of the natives.

I was observing the fire and feast ritual when I felt something upon my skin. I looked at my arm and crawling upon me was one of the many creatures that inhabit this forsaken planet! It had eight very long legs, and the creature’s eyes glowed with the reflection of the fire! Even our best entertainment producers could not imagine something this hideous. I could see the eyes of the creature staring right at me as it crawled along my arm, closer to my face. Fearing contamination, I immediately stood and brushed it away. As I did so, I stepped on a piece of rigid organic matter, which made a loud cracking noise. The aliens heard the sharp crack of the rigid organic matter, even above their own guttural orations and the noise of the fire. They all fell silent, turned, and looked in my direction! One of them stood and started ambulating directly toward me!

The last thing I wanted to do was to confront these flesh-eating trolls, so I quickly retreated to the safety of my ship. I should have known better and just avoided the creatures, but the scientist in me just couldn’t leave it alone. I turned on the exterior cameras, and there was no sign of the troll that was chasing me, so I believe that I was able to lose it in the darkness. Thank goodness for night vision!

And I still do not have enough water to sustain me. I should have focused on obtaining it when I was last out, but instead I foolishly decided to observe the beings. Not only did I nearly get caught, but I failed to retrieve vital supplies. It looks like I’ll be making another foray onto the surface of the planet. Soon.

Log Date 475.558 

Under cover of darkness, I left the safety of my ship once again. I had collected enough plant material for several meals, and I was making my way to the water source, a route which unfortunately took me near the nightly fire and feast ritual of the trolls. As I passed the troll’s encampment, I heard them all making very strange noises. Imagine the crooning of a new parent soothing the cries of an infant, but with varying pitch, and being uttered in the guttural sounds of this planet’s beings. Despite the strange nature of these creatures, I found it captivating, and decided that, in the interest of science, I had to take a closer look.

I crept to the edge of the clearing once more, in the very same spot that I had observed them from during the last period of darkness. Again, I watched them as they consumed their meal. This time they consumed a golden colored liquid from containers made from a clear material. It appeared that the more liquid they consumed, the louder their orations became. Perhaps the liquid causes their vocal systems to expand? I don’t know of anything else that would account for the increase in volume. I moved closer so that I might observe their rituals, and as I reached the edge of the clearing, a containment system made of fibrous material fell upon me. The trolls had drawn me into a trap! I…it is so upsetting that I feel that I must stop and gain control of my emotions. I shall resume this log once I have had a period of rest.

Log Date 475.559 

I am feeling much better now, and I think I can continue my log.

I attempted to escape the fibrous netting that had trapped me, but I was unable to release myself. All the beings stopped their ritual sounds, and one of them stood and began ambulating in my direction. Their bi-pedal locomotion isn’t particularly efficient, but it does serve to make them appear large and menacing. It also allows them to stand higher than all but the tallest woody plant life, giving them an advantage in finding prey. As hard as I tried, I was unable to escape the trap they had set.

The creature picked up the netting with me still in it. “Gotcha,” it uttered as it held me up and walked toward the fire. It placed me, netting and all, on the ground near their fire. I was certain that I was going to be their next meal!

I truly believed that my life was over. I had seen these creatures consuming flesh, and I was under no illusion that my own would be spared.

“Whadisit” I heard one of them speak.

“Idunno” another one croaked. “Neverseenonebefore”.

The heat from the fire was making me extremely uncomfortable, and I knew that I was doomed. I managed to work my arm through one of the openings in the netting, and I gave them our universal sign of surrender. I preferred to get this over with as quickly as possible.

“Lookitswavin” one of them growled. They all looked at me, and two of them began to make their barking sound. One of them walked toward me. “Maybeitshungry” it said. The tone of its oration seemed to be softer, and I suddenly understood that it felt sympathy for me. I continued to make the universal surrender sign with my arm; perhaps this has a different meaning for them.

As I was trapped inside that net waiting for my own demise, one of them came to the net and removed an object from its clothing. It unfolded it, and I realized that it was a blade of some sort. This was it, I closed my eyes, knowing I was going to die!

  I felt the net move, and I carefully cracked open an eye. I realized it was cutting away the net! I was free, and if I chose to do so, I was certain that I could roll faster than they could ambulate. But a strange curiosity overcame me, and I decided to stay there and observe these creatures for a time.

One of them pulled a piece of flesh from the larger piece that was suspended over their fire, and from a clear container sprinkled something on it. Then it walked toward me, the flesh held in his outstretched hand. As it knelt, it growled something that sounded like “Haveabite”. I think it was offering me some of the charred flesh that they were consuming! Ugh!

I still feared for my life, but I didn’t want to do anything that might cause these beings to become upset. Against my better judgement, I took the piece of charred flesh and offered my hand of gratitude. Now I had to find a way to dispose of it without the troll seeing me. For curiosity’s sake I sniffed it, and immediately questioned what my beak was telling me. I could not be certain because of the overwhelming odor of charred flesh. To make sure, I carefully licked the grainy substance that had been sprinkled onto the surface of the flesh. Zaptis! It was zaptis!

“Ithinkitlikesthesalt” one of the creatures growled. It carried a clear container filled with the white grainy substance and handed it to me. “Salt” it said.

I dropped the cooked flesh and poured a few grains into my hand and tasted it. Only once before in my lifetime have I been honored to taste zaptis, and the concentration was nowhere near what this container holds. In my hand was a container that held more zaptis, or salt as they call it, than is on most of our colony planets! The government officials would be blue with envy if they saw how much zaptis I now held in my hand.

“Shouldwekeepit” I heard one of the creatures growl. “Nawletitgo” another replied. I suddenly grew uncomfortable and decided that it was time to return to my ship. So here I am, with a container full of the most valuable substance on our worlds, handed to me by primitive beings who first captured me, and then set me free. I’m feeling extremely confused, and I believe it is time for another rest cycle.

Log Date 475.562 

I have discovered that this world contains vast quantities of zaps…salt. On my next foray to the primitive beings encampment, I found that they had a barrel of it that they use to preserve food. They have so much that, when they spill some, they also throw additional salt over their shoulder and onto the ground as some sort of ritual offering.

After their flesh-eating ceremony, they began growling and making their barking noises. I’ve since learned that this is called ‘laughter’, and they were ‘laughing’ at something one of them verbalized. I’ve discovered that their barking laughter is contagious; I did not know what was being said, but when they all started laughing, I found that I had unintended endorphin release, and I laughed along with them. When I laughed, they laughed even more.

What happened next is why I awoke in agony. They have another ritual they call ‘breakoutthebeer’. This is the amber colored liquid that I observed earlier, and they sit around the campfire consuming several containers of the liquid. One of them looked at me and growled ‘wannabeer’. I reached out with one arm, and it placed an opened container into my hand. I was first struck by the temperature of the container. They seem to like consuming this liquid at a very low, uncomfortable temperature. But again, in the interest of science, I brought the container to my beak and sniffed.

I could detect water as the primary ingredient. There were also several other items added to the water; although I could not tell what they were. I took a small drink, and despite the cold temperature of the bottle, the liquid seemed to warm me from the inside. Quite the illusion! Throughout the evening they offered me two more 'bottleofbeer', and in the interest of science, I drank them.

I stumbled back to the ship, not understanding why my motor skills seemed to be corrupt. There must be something in beer that caused this, but I do not know what it is. I made it inside, and when I picked up the 3D printer, I dropped it and it shattered. Without it, I cannot create the nanotube screen, this ship will never fly again, and I will be stranded here. I stumbled onto my sleep tray and tried to rest.

Log Date 475.563 

I awoke in agony. My head was pounding, and I am certain that the ship was spinning. I must be having an allergic response to the beer. I cannot function and must return to my rest cycle.

Log Date 475.564 

With the disaster that occurred with my 3D printer, I am forced to start planning for my future on this planet. This area is somewhat isolated, and I am still in my prime. It would be easy to create a small army of my children, and with food and water nearby we have all that we need to create a new colony. Once I have my children trained, they can go forward and rule this planet. Someday I will find a way to repair the ship, and then I will return to our planets with a ship full of salt. Imagine, a lowly scientist becoming the wealthiest, most powerful being in the galaxy.

But back to the present. I believe that, with the right training, there is not anything that can stop my future children from taking their rightful place as the rulers of this planet. And besides, I am curious to try more beer, strictly as a controlled experiment. 

I rub the bump on my abdomen that will soon become my first set of children. After all, the only resistance on this planet is from the native population, and they’re only human.