Still Water

My sister and her friends are dead because of me. Well, technically, no one is actually dead yet. But it’s safe to say that I’m the reason we are stuck out here in the first place.

All I wanted to do was to surprise her with a trip to Martha’s Vineyard with Dad’s old boat. I also managed to contact some of her long-time friends too, inviting them along for the ride. Yet, I couldn’t even get that right because only two of them showed up.

Kim and Becca were the ones who replied, my least favorite of the bunch. Definitely not my first choice when it came to Gracie’s friends. They were the kind of girls who said yes to just about anything. As long as they could post about it on their social media. It’s better than no one I guess. Besides, Gracie is happy. So, I am too.

Today was her 30th birthday, and I planned to do something extra special for her big day. Shorted on cash this week, I had to clever with my spending. So, I called in a few favors to make sure everything went smoothly.

We departed from Woods Hole, shortly after sharing lunch at the Shipwrecked restaurant. The sun shined, the air was cool, and the waves were calm. Birds soared across the bright blue sky, the clouds as white as cotton. It was all going to be perfect. Then, the storm came.

It seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, clouds materialized in an instant, and rain drenching us. We fled into the cabin, the wind the worst of it all. It shook the boat like we were clothes in a washing machine. We clung to each other, desperate and afraid. It felt like we got tossed around for hours, my stomach somersaulting in my chest. Water splashed my face, hair glued to my face. Just when we thought it would never end, it did. The air still.

I stepped out first, met by a cold darkness looming over the deck. The sun had already set over the horizon, the fog rolling in. Using the flashlight on the back of my phone, I inspected the ship for damage. No differences found from what I remembered. The only things I could spot were tiny bundles of seaweed and groups of fish flopped around on the floor. It wasn't until I reached the stern when I realized the motor was out of commission. It had been completely tangled in a large finishing net, attached to a small buoy nearby. With quick thinking, I ran back inside to search for Dad’s hunting knife. I remember how he used to store it in the crate under the table whenever he was ready to carve the day’s haul. Luckily, it was still there even after all the chaos.

As I returned to the motor, I began to hack away at the net. Stabbed and sliced. My breath came in short gasps, sweat beading down my temple. My arm grew tired, pain burning inside. After about five minutes of effort, I already realized this is going to take forever to remove.

I collapsed to my knees, the knife dropped to the floor beside me. “I can’t do this anymore,” I whispered. “I’ve doomed us all.”

Footsteps approached, followed by a hand that fell onto my shoulder. “It's going to be okay.” The voice said.

I turned my head to find my sister, standing over me. I glanced away. “No!” My hands curled into fists. “Everything is not going to be okay! I’ve ruined everything!”

Gracie gave me a sad smile. “Claire, this isn’t your fault. No one could’ve predicted this would happen.”

“We’re here because of me!” I pounded my fist into the wood. “I should've known this was a bad idea.”

“Hey,” she massaged my clavicle. “It wasn’t in the forecast. You couldn’t control that.”

“That’s where you are wrong Gracie,” A voice said. Kim and Becca exited the cabin, their bodies shivered.

“This is all her fault.” Kim pointed at me. “We wouldn’t be in this mess if she listened to radio.”

Gracie gazed at Kim and Becca, then back to me. “Claire?” She cocked her head. “What is she talking about?”

Heat filled my cheeks, my eyes staring down at the floor. “I don’t know.”

Gracie moved her hand under my chin, forcing me to look at her. “Please tell me… Did you know?”

I hesitated. By now she already knows whatever excuse I come up with wouldn't convince her. Might as well tell her the truth. “I did,” I admitted.

“Oh Claire…” she started.

“Look!”’ I replied. “I know you’re ma—“

“Mad?” She interrupted. “I’m furious!” She released me. “How could you do something so stupid?”

“I…” I stammered. “I was just trying to—”

“Trying to what?” She asked. “Trying to kill us?”

“No!” I shouted. “I thought… I just thought.”

“You didn’t think at all!” She screamed. “You didn’t think once about our safety.”

“But...” My eyes grew wet. “But.”

“But nothing!” She spun away from me. “After we get rescued, I don’t even want to see your stupid face again.”

“No!” I crawled on my hands and knees. “Please. Don’t do this to me!”

“You did this to yourself.” She spat, joining her friends.”

“I’m sorry.” I pleaded, inching forward. “Please forgive me. I was just trying to do something nice for your birthday.”

Gracie twisted her neck at me “something nice? You knowingly brought us directly into the middle of a storm!"

“I thought…” I said. “I didn’t think it would be this bad! I thought we could beat it.”

“Well you thought wrong. And now we’re screwed.” Gracie said. They strolled back into the cabin, arms wrapped around each other.

I stared into the void of the companionway. She was right. How could I be so reckless? I pulled my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on top. How could I ignore the warnings and do this to us? I leaned against the edge, the wood creaking below. It’s been a long day, and my body feels exhausted. The waves were calm, brushing rhythmically against the hull like a gentle lullaby. My eyelids grew heavy, the sweet embrace of slumber taking hold of me.

“Aren’t you going to say goodbye?” A woman’s voice said, it sounded like Mom. “It’s going to be awhile before you will be able to see your daughters again.”

I strained to open my eyes, my vision still processing my surroundings. Two blurs moved back and forth in the living room through the entryway of the back porch. Where am I? Am I back home?

“It’s fine.” A man said, I recognized the voice instantly, it was Dad’s. “She’ll see me eventually. Besides, it will only be for a month.”

I felt a strong sense of Deja vu. What is happening? This had happened before. I pushed myself up from the sofa, my bare feet planted on the cold hardwood.

“I’ll let her sleep.” He continued. “We can Face Time later when the plane lands.”

I walked toward the living room, my feet shuffled across the floor. My legs felt mechanical and heavy. I tried to move faster, forcing myself to run, but nothing happened. Why can’t I move faster?

“Bye Dad!” A third voice said, this time it was Gracie.

“Bye kiddo.” He responded. “You were always my favor—“ Dad began, interrupted by the sound of a car horn.

“Okay! Gotta go!” He declared.

There’s shuffling around, before the door opens and closes soon after. I’m finally able to walk faster now, entering the living room. Mom and Gracie stood by the window, waving outside. I ran to the other one, my palms pressed against the glass. The car was still out there with no Dad to be found. He was already inside, and I’m forced to watch as it drove away.

I spun toward Gracie, sprinting at her, and tackling her to the floor. My hands wrapped around her neck, fingers digging into skin. “You little!” I cut myself off. “Why must you always be the favorite?”

“Claire!” My mother screamed at me.“Get off her!” She pulled me off of Gracie, my arms flailing. “What’s gotten into you?”

A scream is heard, but it’s not Gracie. It’s someone else. We froze and inspected around, seeing no one else in the room. It comes again, this time more clear. It’s coming from outside. I sprinted to the door, throwing the door open to an endless expanse of light. It overtakes my vision, melting away my home around me.

My eyes burst open, a dark sky still prevalent. The scream is heard again, but now I hear the waves and the wind alongside it. I jolted myself up, standing up on my shaky legs.

“Help!” A voice called. "Help!”

I sprinted into the cabin, finding Becca and Kim hovering over a body on the floor. I shoved my way between them to access the situation more clearly, met with a horror I never expected to see. There on the ground is Gracie, her body laid out on the floor.

“Oh my god! Gracie!” I fell to the floor, my knees buckled. “What happened?”

“I don’t know.” “Becca panicked. “She started panicking that we were never going to get rescued. Then she started to turn pale.”

“She said she was having trouble breathing and collapsed soon after.” Kim added.

“Where’s her inhaler?” I asked, turning to them.

“Inhaler?” Kim asked. “She doesn’t have an—"

“Of course she does!” I yelled. “How can you be her best friends and not know she has asthma?” I clamored onto my feet, searching for it.

“Hurry!” Becca said. “I don’t think she’s breathing.”

“Screw it!” I shouted, returning back empty handed. “We don’t have much time” I checked for a pulse and breath, but I don’t feel or hear anything. “Hold on sis!”

I placed both of my hands over each other, fingers intertwined on top with my flat palm on Gracie’s chest. I used my full body weight to press in and out counting to 30. When I'm done, I lowered down, covering her nose, and lifting her chin up. Breathing in two slow breaths into her mouth, going back to compressing her chest soon after.

“C’mon Gracie,” I said, feeling the presence of her friends behind me. “Don’t quit on me just yet.” I tilted my head to her mouth, checking for her breath. Not hearing anything, and returning to my position.

“C’mon Gracie.” I cried out. “c’mon!” I kept going, not allowing the burning pain in my arms to stop me. Matching the beat to Stayin’ Alive, I pushed forward.

“Gracie! Please!” Tears trailed down my face. “Please come back to me!” I don’t let up. I don’t. Not for Gracie. Not for anyone. Until finally she began to breathe again. Color returned to her face.

She gasps, sitting up, and breathing fast. Her eyes darted around, observing us around her. “What happened?” She asked.

My mouth doesn’t move, my lip quivering. I didn’t know what to say. What to do.

“You were dead.” Becca says. “You stopped breathing and you had no pulse.”

“Claire saved you.” Kim said.

“She did?” Gracie’s eyes met mine. “You did?”

I nodded. “I had to perform CPR to bring you back.”

“Where did you learn that?” She asked.

“Mom taught me. After you went off to college and Dad passed...” I swallowed hard. “She and I spent a lot of time together.”

She reached out and placed a hand on my leg. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.”

“It’s okay.” I shook my head. “I was just a burden to you anyway.”

“You were never a burden.” She frowned.

“As if.” I said. “Everyone always liked you better. You were Dad’s favorite.”

She hesitated, saw that I was serious, and then laughed. “Actually you were.”

“What?” I asked. “I remembered clearly that he said you were?”

“No,” She replied. “He said I was always his favorite duck. And you were his favorite goose.”

Water filled my eyes. “And we know how much he loved Geese.” I smiled.

“More so, than any other bird.” She finished the sentence.

“But why?” I asked. “You were always the perfect one. How could he love me more than you?”

“I wasn’t perfect." She snorted. "I was anything but perfect." I can’t even count the amount of times he had to save my ass from whatever dumb shit I was doing.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Really?”

“Yup.” She admits. “It was my fault he never had much time for you.”

“Hey,” I squeezed her arm. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

She pulled me so hard, I forgot how strong she was. Her arms coiled around me, hugging me tight. “Thanks Claire.” She said. “For saving my life.”

My head sat on her shoulder, her hair damp on my cheek. “Anytime.”

The sun began to peak though, a warm light painting the walls inside. “The sun!” Gracie exclaimed. “It’s finally here!” She released me from her grip, and we exited onto the deck together.

A magnificent sight to behold. The sky tinted with hues of orange and red. I’ve never seen anything quite like it.

“It’s so beautiful.” I said as we reached the bow.

Wind blew in our face, strands of hair flowing in front of my eyes. Gracie put an arm around me, and I returned the favor. We held each other there, experiencing this moment as one. I took a deep breath, the salty air filling my lungs.

“Look!” Kim pointed.

We all turned starboard to witness something even more magical than the sun rising over the water. Something I’d never thought I would ever see again. Another boat.

“Hey!” I waved my hands up. “Over here!”

Kim and Becca were practically jumping up and down, throwing their arms around. It headed right toward us, waves rippling around it. This was it. This was when we knew. When we knew the nightmare was over.

As soon as we knew it, they arrived. Dozens of people boarding with food and water. We each got our own blankets to wrap ourselves in as they escorted us off. One woman said, “it’s going to be okay. You’re in good hands now.

Once we are all settled, they tied a rope onto Dad’s boat. We begun to pull away, tugging it along with us. Gracie turned to me like she was going to say something, but then I heard the sound of birds flying overhead. I gazed up to see a flock, soaring in a v-shaped formation.

“Ducks.” I said.

“Not only ducks.” Gracie shook her head. “Geese too.”

She’s right. Ducks and Geese shared the flight in a shared mission of migration. Shivers run down my spine, tingling spreading across every fiber of my being.

Gracie noticed, taking my hand in hers again. “You okay?” She asked.

“Yeah,” I replied. “It’s just not something you see every day.”

“No,” Gracie said, squeezing my hand. “It’s not.”