A Familiar Stranger

I think someone is watching me. I see the same person in many places. She looks familiar, however she is a stranger. She reminds me of myself when I was younger and happy. Though I do not think she is happy, because I think she follows me. I have seen her in so many places that could not warrant this to be a coincidence. She has been in my neighborhood, she was picking flowers that were growing through the sidewalk. I saw her at the mall, where she was ordering food. Then in the craziest places of all, I saw her at the same hotel I was staying at, she was checking in when I was asking for a replacement key for my room. I have seen her so many places, and those are just the relevant ones. I am at the doctor again, it seems my daughter's worrying has made her bring me back in, and the woman is here again. 

It all started three months ago when my daughter was taking me to my yearly check up in the morning. The doctor had lots of questions for me, and of course my daughter tried to answer for me. As I have become older, my daughter worries more and is more pressing with my life. I haven't told her about the women yet. That day when we came home from the doctors office, where he asked me a lot of questions, I saw her. I didn't think anything of it, there were a lot of people, especially young people moving into the neighborhood. She was picking the yellow flowers that grew for the cracks of the earth and were struggling to live. That is when I noticed how much she reminded me of myself. She had the same hair I did when I was that young, a slight wave to her otherwise straight hair, and it cascaded down her back, reaching just above her hips. When I saw her face, I felt like I was looking into the past, she looked just like me, like a doppelganger in the wrong era. I remember when I was that age, I would pick any flower I could find. I didn’t want to stop and smell the roses, I wanted to stop and pluck the flowers. I was spooked at the first encounter, especially when she looked me in the eye, smiled and walked away, dropping her flowers. 

The second encounter happened when I was at the mall. My daughter was taking me to get my eyes checked at that one place. I can’t remember the name of it, but when we were done my daughter decided to take me for lunch in the food court. We went to get some Mexican food from one of the vendors, and when we were taking our food back to one of the tables, I saw that she was in line behind us. The next thing you know she was sitting at the table in front of me, behind my daughter and she had ordered the same thing I did. Right before she took her first bite, she looked up at me and smiled. I was shaken up and excused myself to go use the restroom, when I came back she was gone. This time I think my daughter noticed I was quite shaken up, but dismissed my attitude when I told her I was reminded of something in the past.

The third time that really sticks out is when my daughter and I were taking a trip. We went because she had a consultation with other doctors, she said it was nothing to worry about, and it was for work, after all she was a doctor as well. We went across the nation and when we were on the plane, I thought I saw her, the woman, the stranger, however, when I was walking down the aisle again to the back of the plane for my seat, the stranger was not on the plane. When we checked in I forgot to ask for a key card for myself, and my daughter said I would not need one, because we would be doing everything together, but when she got in the shower, I wanted a snack from the vending machine so I bought my snack but couldn't get back in. That is when I saw the strangers again. I was asking for a key card for myself, and the stranger was checking in. She smiled politely when she passed me to go to her room, but I did not see her for the rest of the trip. I saw the doctors with my daughter, and she insisted that they check me out too, just in case. We came for her, but she always worries about me. 

I am sitting in another doctor's office with my daughter. She thinks I have some minor illness and wants to get me checked out. I want to go home. Especially since the stranger, who I have seen many times now, was sitting across the room staring at me. I was tired of having the stranger stare at me, and I am tired of having my daughter worry her little heart out. The doctor took us into one of his rooms and the woman followed us, but did not come into the room with us. She kept walking down the hallway, and I lost sight of her when one of the nurses walked in my line of vision. When we sat down with my doctor my daughter almost started to cry. Her eyes welled up and her hands shook when she took mine.

“There is something wrong doctor, she is seeing things, and her memory is rapidly deteriorating, and she thinks I am a doctor and we go see other doctors for me” My daughter was crying when she blurted out her words, and I did not understand. 

“She keeps saying that there is a stranger who looks just like her watching us, and she keeps pointing at random objects and saying there she is, but most of the time we are alone, I just do not know what to do anymore, she is getting so much worse and the medicine is no longer doing anything, she is always disassociating now, she even forgets me sometimes and thinks I am the stranger, when we were eating at home after her eye appointment she pointed looked at me like I was the stranger, and then she went to the restroom, and when she came back she was fine, and the stranger was gone” My daughter just kept talking but I was so confused. I do not remember having any medical issues, and I certainly do not hallucinate. I swear someone is watching me, the stranger. The stranger is following me. 

This time the doctor tried talking but I wanted to talk too, because I was not sick and my daughter has blown this out of proportion with all of her worrying. She really is a worry wart.  

“There is nothing wrong with me sweetheart, but there really is someone following me, the young woman that looks familiar, but she is a total stranger. I promise I am fine, but I won't be if we don't file a police report.” 

This time the doctor looked worried and turned to my daughter. 

“This is very common with Alzheimer's disease, this is what the disease does, she will forget, and her memory will just get worse. The woman she sees is a symptom, this is paranoia we have talked about. With a combination of the paranoia and hallucination she has created a person in her mind, who she believes is real. You are just going to have to work through this. With all the information you have given me, I believe she is projecting herself before she was sick, as the stranger. She is seeing herself through her own memories, but no longer recognizes herself or her past. I am very sorry, but she is losing her basis of reality. Soon she will no longer recognize you, and the disease will only progress from here.” 

The doctor looked very sorry and sincere, but I do not know what for, we came for my appointment but clearly he was talking about someone else. I am as healthy as a horse. My daughter was still crying but as soon as she left she would stop. I would tell her I am fine and then everything would be okay. 

By the time we made it out of the appointment my daughter had stopped crying. I told her I am fine just like I said I would and she patted my back and said “Of course you are mom”. I see the stranger across the street, she looked sad this time, all the other times she was smiling. She waves, and I stop walking to the car. I wave back and she looks even sadder. Then she walks around the corner and I wait in the walkway of the doctors office until I could no longer see her. The stranger was gone. I never saw her again.