Finally, Teagan had reached 21 years of age. She would now open this sacred letter, which her mother had written to her. This was composed straight after Teagan was born. Teagan polished her glasses and began to read.
"Dear Teagan, This is Mummy's love letter to you. I will present it to you on the momentous event of your 21st birthday. As I write, I am resting here, feeling euphoric. I am gazing in wonder that I have made a human. You look so perfect. I checked. You have all your digits, and look supremely content. The fairies have brought me a beautiful new creation. You are lying in your bassinet, swathed in pink."
"Dear Teagan, I have delivered you in the usual way, obstetrically. Your father and I did not need IVF, which is an understatement. The afterbirth was a bit offputting, but Mother Nature is a marvelous thing. Your delivery was straight forward, I am now a champion. I realize I shall spend the next 18 years delivering you everywhere in my car. I shall do so with a minimum of fuss, nothing to discuss, and woman's touch. I am planning to be supreme mother figure in our suburb. "
'Dear Teagan, As I live here, sharing this unique time, I am telling you now, you are going to be a doctor. You shall marry a doctor. You are going to drive a gold sports car. Your husband will buy you diamond rings, and lots of them. Otherwise, I shall want to know the reason why. You are going to live in a mansion. I can imagine the palatial house, complete with a lap pool and a gardener. You can do this. After the wedding, I am moving in with you."
"Dear Teagan, You are adorable! You totally inherited your good looks from my side of your family tree. You have my beautiful blue eyes, my attractive dark hair, and my cute nose. I might let you marry either a doctor, or an engineer, if your future husband does not like the squishy bits. He can build your mansion. You, too, will have good looking babies, my grandkids. They are going to be rich and intelligent, just like us. I have not as yet reached the rich stage. You and your future husband can keep me in the first world luxuries in which I am aiming to raise you."
"Dear Teagan, I am going to repeat this success story for the next 18 years. You are going to be a doctor, you are going to marry a doctor, or an engineer. I already have my antennae for matchmaking with suitable husband material. In addition, you are going to become the perfect model teenager, no backchat. You are born with my impeccable good taste in clothing. You shall never make gothic horror fashion mistakes. Positive planning works."
"Dear daughter of my loins, I am mildly concerned. I have discussed my plans for your future with my own mother, your new grandma. She confesses to being more than a tad disappointed that she did not encourage this prototype for her family. That is why I am in therapy. I consult my shrink on a regular basis, very healing. You can change the pattern of our family. You may need some support in lifehacks. For this reason, I have started a fund for your therapist, after you have listened to your mummy. Grandma is donating generously to this great cause, to marry well."
"Dear Teagan, As I lie here, enchanted with my creation, I am planning to divorce your father. He should not have disappeared after fainting during our childbirth. I suspect he is drunk somewhere. He definitely should have been here with my floral tributes and assorted pink toys to celebrate your arrival. When you graduate as a doctor, keep your jobs and quals up to date. Do not copy what your mother here has done. Any rat can turn!"
"Dear Teagan, You are going to be a doctor, you are going to marry a doctor, or an engineer. We are going to live together with my grandchildren in your mansion. That is after I have potty trained you. You shall be a success and so shall I. You are never going to tolerate this rat therapy. Your father is so going to contribute financially to your fund for your therapist."
"Dear Teagan, All is not rosy on your mummy's romance. Your new grandma has taken off to the nearest hotel environment, with her shotgun. I expected your father to be making gooey baby noises, worshiping at my earth mother bedside. He is in deep manure. If I was not mastering this baby feeding, I would be at my therapist. Never mind, Teagan, we shall sail on together. I have your sweet little grandma on our side. She is bringing new meaning to hostile mother-in-law as I write. I must say, the kindly but busy nurses here did try to prevent grandma, but she has issues with my about to be ex-husband. Your sweet little grandma believes that I could do no better than a dead ex-husband. One day, I too, will be happy to be widowed and old. That is your job."
"This is my love letter, now quite old. Your unlamented father is on a permanent vacation. You are descended from a long line of strong females. We match our shoes to our brooms. With your sweet little grandma, that might be an understatement. Never mind, we shall achieve this future planning, with chick power!"
"Dear Teagan, Happy Birthday. This is your love letter from your mummy."
Teagan stared at this epistle about her family tree. Had she really read all that with her spectacles? Her fiancee, the engineer, texted. He was sending her the plans he had designed for their happy home, after their nuptials.
Sighing, Teagan opened her medical texts, to write another assignment about squishy bits. Then she emailed her therapist.
"Dear Dr. Shrink, Today I turned 21 years old. Can I divorce my mother?"
The therapist responded, "Dear Teagan, Of course, absolutely. Here is your invoice. Send it to your mother."
Teagan fist pumped the air. After all, she was from the good looking side of her family tree!