"Go."

Warning! Story will contain things such as:

• Mental health
• Self harm
• Implied Violence 
• Swearing

08: 12 am, Mon, April 2nd, 19XX 

******

“Hey mom, wake up!” 

"What?” said Eden’s mother, drowsy, not bothering to look at him as she wrapped her blanket more tightly around her.

“Have you seen my suitcase?”

“Why?”

“Don’t ask why, you know why; my train is leaving in less than four hours,” 

“And?” asked Eden’s mother as she turned away from him. Eden groaned. He knew he’d get nowhere if he got angry so he took a deep breath and said slowly and carefully, 

“Would you please tell me where my suitcase is?”

“I don’t know pal, I just don’t know,”

“Mom!”

“Fine, stop being a drama queen,”

“I’m not a drama queen—”

“Doesn’t matter, it’s in the living room,”

“I already checked,”

“No, No, No. It's in the compartment underneath the TV.” Eden furrowed his brow.

“Why is it there?” She didn’t answer.

“Mom, why is my suitcase, which I haven’t used for over a year in the compartment underneath the TV?”

“I maybe used it,”

“Mom!”

“Eden! Let me sleep,” groaned Eden’s mother. Though Eden was not happy with his mother’s antics, he was starting to feel guilty so, begrudgingly he let it go.

After he finished packing, he finally put on his new suit. He knew that he had maybe gone overboard due to it being very expensive, but he had to. This was a special occasion. The start of his new life; A semi-parting gift for himself. He made it to his mother's room, knocking only out of courtesy before entering. His mother’s room was messy; papers, books, food, clothes and meds lying around. Though he was freaked out by the thought of not making it to his train in time, he knew he had to do one last thing for his mother before he left. So he took off his blazer, grabbed garbage bags, gloves, and a mask, and began to clean. He was able to finish in half an hour, and with eight minutes to spare before he had to get his coffee. 

“Hey mom, I’m leaving soon.” When she finally opened her eyes she yawned and stretched, propping her pillow against her back as she sat up.

“Okay kiddo, come here.” She gave a kiss on his forehead and whispered a small prayer before pulling him into a tight embrace. 

“You have to come to visit and make sure to send lots and lots of letters. Don’t be like your sister,”

“Mom, Ursula lives less than ten minutes away—”

“Shut up Eden, just say yes.”

He knew he could tell her yes. He could tell her that he’d be back, even for a little visit. He could tell her that he would send lots of letters with long descriptions of what he missed and people he couldn’t wait to see. He wanted to tell her yes with all the infusion of the feelings that he did not possess; He really did, but he couldn’t, so he simply nodded.

Almost as if she could read his mind, she gave a sad smile.

“I have to go, mom, I Love you.”

He kissed her on the cheeks and left.

09: 15 am, Mon, April 2nd, 19XX 

******

“I’d like a decaf please,”

“Oh, Eden, wow! Look at you.” Eden flushed, not knowing what to do, he smiled meekly.

“Just wow! Do you have a date?” 

“No, I wouldn’t wear a suit to a date,”

“Yeah, that makes sense; Well then, a decaf coming up.” Thinking that the conversation was done, Eden turned to grab a seat but was promptly stopped. 

“Oh, Eden, if you want, I can give you your job back.” Eden slowly turned around and made sure not to look into Miles' eyes as he spoke. 

“There’s no need,”

“Don’t worry Eden, I was the one in the wrong, I’m—”

“No really, Miles; I have a job.” With a relieved sigh, he said

“Oh, that's great. Where is it?”

“In the city,” said Eden, barely audible. Miles paused, not fully understanding until,

“Wait! Does that mean—”

“Yeah, I’m moving,”

“When?”

“Today.” He just stared at Eden, stunned at the news.

“Well shit, why didn't you tell me? Could have thrown you a going away party,”

“It really isn’t a big deal though,”

“But it is Eden. You’re leaving; not for a small trip but, actually leaving.” Eden couldn’t help but look down at his shaking hand; Trying to calm himself, he took a deep breath and shakily replied.

“I-I-I didn’t think it was a big deal.” Miles stared at him blankly before shaking his head as if he knew that Eden wasn’t going to budge.

“Welp, bon voyage. Here’s your coffee.” Eden slowly took his coffee and left.

09: 40 am, Mon, April 2nd, 19XX 

******

Eden slowly pulled into his sister’s driveway, trying to park just right without hitting anything; And just as usual, he did. He was leaving his car with her for two main reasons. The first was the fact that his mom could not be trusted with handling any other vehicle than her own. The second reason was that his sister needed a car to take her kids to school, And he and she could not afford to get her a decent car. She worked as a teacher, and in other towns or places, that would mean a steady paycheck. But in this particular town, that meant a little to be desired, barely over the minimum wage pay; It also didn’t help that she had two kids and was a single mother. 

“Eden!,” said Ursula as she let him inside. 

“You look great,”

“Thanks, Urs.” He sat on the couch that was very worn out and had questionable stains on it. 

“Where’s Anna and Mickey?”

“Oh, Mickey is sleeping and Anna is going on a walk with David.” Eden gave her a puzzled look.

“Who?”

“My new boyfriend,”

“Ursula!” She gave him a bright smile as she drank her tea.

“He’s great Eden, you don’t have to worry,”

“How long have you been dating him?” She looked down as if she had been caught in a lie.

“Ursula,”

“Fine, two weeks,”

“Ursula, are you crazy?”

“No, don’t start Eden; I know how to take care of myself and my children.” 

“That’s a lie and you know it—”

He was promptly cut off by the burst of the front opening and a small person toppling into his arms

“Uncle!” said Anna with a bright face. 

“Anna!” said Eden as he patted her head.

“Uncle, I want candy.” Eden smiled and brought her closer and onto his lap. 

“What?”

“I want candy,”

“What?” She scowled at him, making Eden chuckle.

“I don’t carry a stash of candy with me everywhere I go, Anna.” She pouted. Still smiling, Eden took out his wallet and handed her two five-dollar bills. 

“One is for your brother and the other is for you,”

“Yes, thank you, Uncle.” She hugged him tight before jumping off his lap and running away and yelling “Mickey!” 

Eden then turned to his sister; She stared at him with judgemental eyes.

“Don’t stare at me like that, It’s my money,”

“She’s only using you for that money Eden, so naive,” said Ursula. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at her terrible joke.

“Meet my boyfriend, David.” She made her way towards him and clasped his hands. 

“Hello, Eden,” said the boyfriend. He wasn’t special; in fact, he resembled a lot of Ursula’s past boyfriends. With his dirty blonde hair, slightly hooked nose, and light brown eyes, the resemblances were uncanny. The only major thing that was different was his height. He was tall, very tall; taller than Eden, but to be honest, most people were taller than Eden. But other than his height, he was not special. Just like her past boyfriends, he didn’t speak much; He simply sat next to her, reading a book whilst eating a granola bar. 

“How’s mom?” asked Ursula, breaking Eden out of his reverie. He turned to her, shaking his head as he heaved a heavy sigh.

“What?” asked Ursula.

“Again, I feel I must reiterate that you guys live 10 minutes from each other; I am not your messenger.” She rolled her eyes.

“It was a question,”

“I know,”

“So?” He thought about it for a moment and then said,

“She's okay, for now. Right now she’s sleeping, she’s got an overnight shift so she is trying to catch some sleep before then.” Ursula looked into her mug which was almost empty and then back at him.

“I’m sorry Eden, but do you have to leave?”

“No. We’re not doing this,”

“Come on Eden, mom needs you,”

“What about me? Why do I have to stay while you barely do anything for her.” She winced.

“I do; I send her the little money I make whilst barely having enough to take care of my kids,”

“And? That’s not an excuse though; You chose this life, Ursula. You wanted kids, a family and all that.” He paused for a moment.

“And you left me to handle the rest.” Silence enveloped the room.

“I’m sorry—”

“No, stop!” Eden stood up.

“Don’t leave,”

“I have to, you can’t and won’t convince me otherwise.” Grabbing his bag, he halfheartedly hugged his sister and then left her house, saying goodbye knowing he might never come back again.

010: 23 am, Mon, April 2nd, 19XX 

******

Eden was beginning to panic. His train was set to arrive in approximately 1 hour and 37 mins; He needed to get a taxi quickly. He was fidgeting when a familiar voice startled him. 

“Well, if it isn’t Mr. Eden Sylvester.” He quickly turned around to see a woman with long purple hair that reached to her back, a knee-length flowing white dress, Tan skin, an almost doll-like frame, and hazel eyes. 

“Ronnie?” She smiled, gave a twirl and did a courtesy.

“I like your suit,” said Veronica in her honey-sweet voice. 

He didn’t say anything, stunned by her sudden appearance in a town she had left dramatically and suddenly; It also didn’t help that she looked different. She gave him a curious look, tilting her head slightly.

“Where are you off to?”

“Well…you know, places.”  

She continued to smile brightly at him despite his obvious discomfort. 

“It was really nice to see you Ronnie, but I really have to—”                                          

“Let’s grab something to eat.” Before he could protest, she pulled him violently to the local cafe. Despite his moans of protest, she didn’t listen. 

“So how is life?” asked Veronica.

“It's fine,”

“Wow! How clipped, come on Sylvester; We haven’t seen each other for what? 5 years?”

“Yeah…I guess,”

“Come on Eden, I’m sorry I dragged you here, but don’t you want to talk to your old friend?”

“Sorry Ronnie, but I have a train to catch in like,” Eden paused and checked his watch. 

“An hour and a half.” 

“I can drive you if you want,”

“Where? to the train station?”

“Yup,”

“Really?”

“Yes, but you have to do something for me.” She paused for dramatic effect.

“You have to talk to me,”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Veronica’s car was just as strange as her new appearance. It was small, but not just small; That wasn’t the right word to describe it. It resembled a clown’s car with its red hood and the sprinkle of yellow over the doors. 

“This…is something,”

“Yeah, I know, amazing; I painted it myself.” Not wanting to waste any more time, Eden hopped into the passenger’s seat.

They didn’t speak for a while. Eden stared out the window, making sure to avoid Veronica’s eyes. Then, with uncertainty in her voice, Veronica asked,

“Why are you leaving, Eden?”

“It’s just that I got a new job, in the city and…” He trailed off, stopping to stare at Veronica. 

“I feel like I should be asking you the opposite thing, like why are you here?” She bit at her bottom lip, a tick Eden knew as her being nervous.

“So you’re not gonna tell me?”

“It’s not that, Eden; But it’s a little complicated. It’d help if you weren’t leaving today,”

“No. Do not. I’ve had enough people tell me not to leave already and that’s not gonna work. Plus, you’re the one that left and didn’t bother to call me for 6 years; And yes, it has been 6 years, not five.” 

“I’m sorry Eden, really; I was busy with so many things that I forgot about this town and that I had people who gave a shit about me.” Eden looked at her, still angry but curious enough to stay silent. 

“A lot of things happened and well, I couldn’t stay there anymore,”

Hesitantly, he asked, 

“Did you and—” 

“Yeah, we did. But that’s not the reason I came back, at least not the full reason.”

“What happened?”

“A lot. Too much.”

“Well isn’t that vague?” Veronica bit at her lip, even harder.

“It's just that…I don’t know how…” She trailed off.

“How what? Veronica; Just tell me,” 

“We’re here,” said Veronica, pulling the car over.

“Veronica, come on,”

“You better go catch your train.” Frustrated and confused, Eden checked his watch.

“Oh shit.” Quickly, he got out of the car and took out his suitcase.

“Thanks for the ride Ronnie, it was nice to see you.”

“Eden, I want—”

He didn’t hear her as he turned quickly and made his way inside.

011: 45 am, Mon, April 2nd, 19XX 

******

“Ticket, please,” said the woman at the check-in. Eden handed her his ticket; She looked at it and promptly gave it back to him.

“Head to the platform over there and wait. Your train isn’t arriving till noon.” He did as she said and headed towards the platform. Eden found a seat and sat down in relief after standing for more than 20 minutes. 

He was finally here; He had made it. Eden laid his head on his head, resting while smiling quietly to himself. All that was left to do was wait for the train.

…

…

…

But something felt wrong. The feeling of regret was starting to seed into Eden’s mind, not budging despite his resistance.

‘Veronica wanted to tell me something, maybe I should have stayed.’

He raised his hand to his left cheek and slapped himself.

He needed to get his shit together and could not let himself hesitate.

…

…

…

Eden looked at his watch. 

11:55 am

 ‘Just five minutes to go'

He could do it, soon he'd never have to come back to this shit town. To a town that fucked with him for so long. He was going to do it, he wouldn't have regrets; He couldn't. But again the feeling came back, so strong that he couldn't ignore it.

‘Am I being selfish for wanting this? Am I in the wrong for leaving my mother who could barely take care of us to take care of herself? I could stay. Maybe. What if I stay for just a little longer? Ursula can’t do everything herself. What if—’

"Stop, Stop, Stop!"

He needed to catch his breath. If he didn’t, he’d pass out.

“The train to **** is leaving in two minutes. Anyone who is taking the train to ****, please make your way to the platform and start boarding.”

Eden stood up.

He was going.

You have to come back though, right?

You can’t abandon everyone, right?

If you do, wouldn’t you be better off dead?

He could feel his hands begin to shake violently and tears begin to form in his eyes. Was he doing the wrong thing? Maybe the suffocation he felt every day would be something he’d just have to deal with.

You’re not going? 

What a wimp you are; you’re better off

jumping onto the tracks. 

“The train is about to depart. The door will be closing in 30 seconds.”

‘I don’t want to be stuck here. I want to live for myself for once. I don’t want to continue this. If I do, I don’t think I could survive.’

“The train will be leaving in 25 seconds.”

You don’t matter though. 

Come on, do it, submit. 

Who cares about you?

“24.”

“Eden.” He turned to see Veronica.

“What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to tell you that I’d be in the city soon,”

“What?”

“Get on the train Eden.”

“15.”

“What?”

“I said get on the train.”

“12.”

“But—” She stopped him by pulling him for a quick hug and whispering,

“I love you, Eden. So does your family; Don’t forget that. Now get on the train.”

“8.”

“I love you too. You better be in the city and you better answer my calls or I will come back and kill you.” She smiled, a sad one.

“Go.”

He ran.

“5.”

You won’t make it

You wasted too much time

Come on, you’re so slow.

‘I want to make it. I want to leave here. I know that I might find out that it wasn’t worth it and that I wasted my time, but I want to do it anyway. And I know that I won’t be alone if, no when I come back.

I know I’m not abandoning anyone.

For once, I think I’m allowed to be selfish. For once I should.

“The doors are now closed, anyone near the platform, please step away.”

Eden turned and looked at Veronica who was still there and smiled at him.

She mouthed something he couldn’t hear and then she turned. Just as strangely and suddenly as she came, she disappeared.

Her white flowing dress was the last thing he saw.

Eden found a seat, put up his suitcase and sat near the window. He looked out, though all he saw was black; But he didn’t mind it. 

Not in the least.