Train Ride to New Life

Chugga chugga, chugga chugga and then a sharp toot pierced the quiet air.

Her head bobbed up and down as it slowly drooped, as if hypnotised by the sound and rhythm of the train. She felt herself dozing off until the horn sounded.

Barbara turned and looked out of the dusty window, not knowing if the train stopped at the next station or keep going right past it. She didn’t know which stations were for pickups between the beginning of her journey and the end of it. It didn’t matter to her.

This was a train journey from one life to another. When she stepped out of the carriage and on to the station it would be as if she was someone else. Barbara would be starting a new life.

It wasn’t a super-fast train or a really slow one, just in between. As it slowed she could not only see farm animals in the paddocks but little birds sitting on some of their backs, probably picking out the fleas and lice with sharp precision.

The 10.30 from Chessingham pulled into the station grinding to a halt, up above the platform a big white sign with ‘GREENBOROUGH’ written boldly in black paint, was swinging back and forwards, squeaking.

Down below the tracks the trees and bushes were close enough for her to see the difference between the old leaves, dark green and brown, misshapen and dry clinging onto the branch, perhaps not wanting to end life just yet, and the new yellow and light green ones, delicate and transparent. On the thin twigs little buds were ready to burst open with freshness and vigour.

The red brick station looked old and weary. Two wooden seats with metal ornate arms, were filled with school children on an outing by the look of it – their voices high pitched and excited yelling out loud, and a frazzled teacher trying to be heard above the noise, “Please be quiet children. We’re out in public, remember that” but the group didn’t hear her and didn’t care. The other teacher didn’t notice anything that was happening because he sat on the end of one of the benches more interested in eating a piece of what looked like homemade quiche.

The handsome man and his lady love stood holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes. He said something and she laughed, then wiped an imaginary eyelash off his cheek, just to touch him. Then as she wound her arms around his neck and whispered something into his ear and they both laughed at their secret.

A young family, probably the parents, with two children came aboard. The man exuded an air of boredom, leaving it up to the woman to make sure the children climbed onto the train’s step safely, avoiding the very wide gap that was between it and the platform. “Up you get Johnny. That’s right Claire, good girl” she said to them and they walked into the carriage. The man followed behind nonchalantly, looking around for a place to sit.

“Can we sit here daddy?” Johnny asked plonking himself by the window, and opposite him Claire sat, chubby legs in short socks and sandals, not saying a word.

“Why not” was all he replied and the mother dutifully sat down next to her daughter.

Barbara watched on from the other side of the carriage. She wondered if they were happy or not – she couldn’t quite tell yet. The mother looked tired. “Would you like a sandwich, Claire?” she asked the girl, who didn’t answer. “What about you Johnny?” I’m sure you’re hungry.

“For goodness’ sake Lynn, we haven’t even left the station and you’re offering them food!” he said crossly to the mother and she, eyes looking down embarrassedly put the sandwiches back into the worn bag she had on her lap.

“But I’m hungry” Johnny said out loud and unlike his mother, didn’t feeling in the slightest bit embarrassed about who heard him.

“I said a bit later” his dad told him, scowling.

Barbara had made up her mind that they weren’t happy - mainly because the man wasn’t. It looked like he controlled the mother and because of this the little girl was scared to say much for fear of getting told off, and the little boy, who had a braver disposition, more likely than not got yelled at quite a lot.

The train started up again, slowly at first and then gradually building up speed. The station was now empty except for the train guard. He looked at his watch and relief spread through him as he realised that in half an hour, he would be on his way home.

The group of school children were, thankfully, seated in the next carriage, but Barbara and probably others too could still hear them. A continual drone of loud chatter passed from one carriage to the other, and was every now and then was broken by a loud scream or raucous laughter.

The man with the children would mutter to himself but loud enough for Barbara and others to hear “Bloody kids. Shouldn’t be allowed on the train”. And his wife didn’t look at him or anyone.

Barbara could see through the glass of the adjoining door. The worried looking teacher whom she saw earlier was walking around, going from one group of children to the other, but on the end of a seat sat the ‘couldn’t care less’ teacher drinking a coffee and reading.

It was beginning to feel warm in the carriage and Barbara was starting to feel sleepy. ‘I need to get up and go for a walk’ she told herself so she stood up and clutching her bag walked off.

As she neared the family of four, she heard the mother timidly asked the man if it was alright to give the children a sandwich now. And he replied “Why are you asking me?” pointing his forefinger at her.

“Alright children. You can have something to eat now” the mother told them, once again delving into her bag for the food.

Barbara walked in the opposite direction of the school children and into the next carriage. There were fewer people in here – mostly elderly. It was very quiet and a few of the oldies were sleeping.

An old man and lady sat together playing cards, the pack looked dog-eared and weary, yellow from age. They had probably been playing cards together for a long time and perhaps with only these cards. The woman’s fingers were bent over and she had difficulty keeping her cards in her hand. Every now and then she would use her better hand to push the cards back into place.

“It’s your go Charles” she said to the man

“Huh, my go? I just went”

“No, you didn’t love. Look it’s a seven of spades and I put that down” and she pointed to the last card on the pile in front of them.

“Oh yes, quite right” he told her and placed his card on the top of the pile. The woman took one of the cards from the two he had put down and gave one back “Just one, remember?”

The woman looked at Barbara as she passed by and smiled, looked at the man sitting opposite her and then again at Barbara, this time with a look that said” He does try my patience but I love him!”

The train seemed to be going a little faster now and the carriage was rocking slightly from side to side. Barbara held onto the back of a vacant seat and looked out of the window. She could see in the distance some water, a river with tall trees each side of it. It was way up ahead and as they got closer, she could see the bridge they would be going over.

The sides of the bridge didn’t seem very high to her and she had never liked to look down as they crossed them. ‘This train and other have probably gone over this bridge hundreds of times so why I’m worrying is beyond me’ she scolded herself in her head. But as the ‘clickety clack’ of the train wheels sounded on the tracks as they travelled along on top of the old wooden sleepers, she looked everywhere but out of the window!

Suddenly the peace was shattered by four of the school children roughly opening the carriage doorway and falling in. They all laughed as they got up and one of them told the others to ‘keep quiet’ or someone would report them to the train guard.

“I think we should go back now” one of the school girls said “It doesn’t take this long to go to the loo”

“Oh, you’re such a baby” what looked like the ringleader of the group shouted but they all turned around and headed back to their carriage.

Barbara thought back to her school days. She never went on a school excursion. You had to pay for them and her parents never had the money. She didn’t mind as there were always one or two families who couldn’t afford it and they got to stay at school, play with the chalk blackboard and join in with the younger classes when they played sport.

Once or twice, someone came to the school – she remembers the fire brigade coming and giving a talk – mainly about starting fires when your parents weren’t around which everyone knew not to do anyway, but then it did become interesting when they were allowed to climb aboard the fire engine and put the siren on.

“That was a long time ago” she said out loud to herself as she made her way back.

The card players had finished. The old man was sitting upright with his eyes shut and the woman was reading – she held the book in her good hand and the hand with the bent fingers rested on her lap. The cards were scattered on the table as if it had been a mutual decision to finish, nobody actually winning.

Barbara found her seat and sat down, opening up her thermos to have a cup of tea. That is one of the many things she had missed while inside – being able to have a cup of tea whenever you felt like it.

She glanced across the aisle at the family. Claire was asleep lying across her mother’s lap, her head resting comfortably in the hollow of where her mother’s legs were crossed. She was looking down lovingly at her daughter and pushed some of the fine hair off her face.

Johnny had taken off his shoes and his socked feet were up on the seat, knees bent. He was drawing on a pad with a pencil and every so often looked at his father, maybe for some sort of reassurance but he didn’t get it.

The man sat a distance away from his son, mouth downturned.  He looked as if in a trance, asleep with his eyes open, but every so often he blinked, continuing to look straight ahead. She thought he was about to actually turn his head in her direction so she quickly turned away and looked out of her window.

Barbara had dozed off for a while and when she woke, looked at her watch to check the time, she had had enough of the train trip so thankfully it was only about half an hour until it reached her destination. The train was running on time so her sister should already be waiting for her when it arrived.

On the other side of the carriage Claire was playing with her doll, telling her what a good girl she had been on the train while Johnny was counting his marbles in his tin. He had been warned by his dad that if he so much as dropped just one of them on to the floor, he would take the whole tin off him and give them away. The mother of the children was putting all the papers and rubbish off the table into her bag. “There’s some paper on the floor” her husband said to her and she bend down to pick it up.

‘I bet she wishes it was just her and the children getting off the train and he was going to the other end of the earth’ thought Barbara ‘I know I would’.

The school children had gotten off the train two stops earlier. She had watched through the window as bags were dragged off and onto the platform, boys punched each other in fun and the girls were still talking…loudly. The female teacher looked more stressed than ever while the male teacher could be heard telling her “I feel wide awake, I must have slept for the last hour of the trip”.

As the train slowed down Barbara made sure she had everything at hand. It was late afternoon by now and the air had a bit of a chill in it, and that was inside the train, so she put her cardigan on and sat with her bag on her knee.

It had almost slowed to a stop so she stood up now and walked towards the door. She could see Elizabeth standing on the platform waiting for her. She would never look any different. Tall and slim with a French knot at the back of her lovely long neck. Barbara thought back to when they were young and she had always envied the fact that her sister took after their father and Barbara after her mother, short and heavy set.

The door opened automatically and she stepped down and walked towards her sister. They wrapped their arms around each other and stood, rooted to the spot, warmth going from one to the other. It was as if they never thought this moment in time would come and didn’t want it to ever go.

After a few minutes they both pulled back and stared at each other. “Oh Barbara, I hardly recognised you. I like the look”.

“Well necessity musts” she answered. “New haircut and colour…and a bit of makeup too”.

“You’ve lost so much weight. It really suits you but last time I saw you, I didn’t notice how slim you were?”

“It’s a bit difficult to notice too much when someone has prison greens on. They hide a multitude of sins” ….

“That sounded weird, but I know what you meant” Elizabeth said smiling wryly.

They walked with linked arms towards Elizabeth’s waiting car. She opened her driver’s door and then turned to look at her sister saying “You know it’s a fresh start for you now Barbara, no one knows you here and besides, you do not look anything like the twenty-year-old girl who made the biggest mistake of her life and paid the penalty”.

“I know I deserve a new life. I’m not anything like that young girl all those years ago” and she climbed into the passenger seat next to her sister”.

As they drove to what would be the next chapter in her life, Barbara thought of the woman on the train with the two children and the awful man she was with, saying to herself ‘I hope she leaves him before she reaches breaking point – I should have but I didn’t’.

“Alright Sis?” Elizabeth asked

“I am ok - ready to start living again”.